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Chapter Eleven: Maggie
Sitting on the edge of my bed and staring lifelessly at my bedroom walls, I find it weird how your body could hold no sort of physical indication of what you're truly feeling inside, either it would show on your face or body language whilst in the act of being completely motionless, but deep inside, you know, there's a fucking riot going on.
That's what I'm going through right now as I look down and stare at the phone I'm grasping in my hand, lifting it as I turn it on, only to be greeted with the sight of Levi's number just waiting for me to do the inevitable.
Weirdly, I felt like it was pressuring me. Or maybe, it was just me who's pressuring myself due to the guilt that's been swallowing me up for not contacting either Levi or the girls, in fear that my stress about my mother and this upcoming meeting would be all too obvious.
I don't know why, but the thought of telling Levi about the engagement scared me. It scared me more than it should've but of course, I have to tell him about this. I have to.
It would just be wrong not to.
But as I held the phone in my hand, the urge to call him, text him, FaceTime him, heck, even emailing him about this caused a surge of panic to rush through me.
It was usually never this hard to tell Levi anything before. With personal problems regarding my parents' constant arguing in the past and my mental health being affected by it, issues concerning those, it was always so easy to just trust him and to tell him about it. Considering it only affected me, my life, and such little people around me.
But now, it's not like that. First, it was the whole thing with me and Evan's short-lived rivalry and how I was afraid to tell Levi the story behind it, which to this day, I am still doubting even telling Levi the truth about what really happened.
But now? How can I possibly do that when I'm carrying not one, not two, but an ENORMOUS secret equivalent to a billion more other secrets that could potentially ruin our relationship?
The dilemma I had with Evan was already enough to lead to a fight, with him assuming that I can't bear to trust him with my problems. Now, this?
I know Levi in the same way that he knows me. He was the first one to know everything when my family started falling apart and when my dad had signed those divorce papers and left me and my mother behind, he's always been the first one to know about these sorts of downfalls.
That's why I know he won't mind this arranged marriage if he knows it's for the sake of my family, that's why some part of me is confident enough to do this.
So picking up the phone and fumbling with the call button, I take a shaky breath, and hesitate for a moment, before finally, I do it.
It took a couple of seconds with the phone ringing before he picked up, and as soon as he did, did I find myself momentarily freezing, my body and mind suddenly not knowing how to function as he then spoke from the other line "Hello? Maggie?"
I gulped, not knowing what to say at first. I was choking on my own words and I didn't even know why, but with enough courage, I forced myself to respond in a shaky voice "H-Hey."
"Hey," he said, clearly surprised to be hearing from me "I've been trying to reach you this past couple of days but you just went completely off the grid without even answering my calls and texts. What happened?"
"Uh, yeah." I started, nervous "It's just that a lot of things have been happening lately here back at home, with mom finally telling me what's been bugging her-"
"Well, what happened?" he asked, worried yet eager.
The increased levels of my anxiety doubled by a ton and my confidence levels deflated by freaking zero as soon as he asked that "U-Um, I can't really tell-"
"Well, I should know a little bit of what's been going on." he insisted "You haven't been showing up to school recently and had barely reached out to anyone for four whole days. I think it's best we at least get a little of an explanation?"
"It's not that, it's just there's a lot of things happening right now, with mom, her work and how it's been stressing her out and how she needs me now more than ever, but just know that I'm fine and I can handle myself," I reassured.
"Maggs, if something's wrong and you wanna talk about it, don't be afraid to tell me." he proclaimed "We've gone through this, remember? You can trust me."
Despite the comforting context behind his words, the way he said it made me feel like I can do anything but trust him. It was just too firm, I felt like I was being scolded "There's no need, I'll just give you an update once I come back to school."
He paused for a moment before he let out a sigh "Okay then, just promise me you'll keep me updated, okay? Do you want me, Beth and Emily, to come over and visit you-"
"No, no, that won't be necessary," I told him, panicking as I rattled myself for a tolerable excuse "The house is just really hectic at the moment and I think it's best if you guys just wait until I come back. Seriously, Levi. I'm okay."
There was a moment of silence on his end, a clear indication that he was second-guessing even trusting the words that were coming out of my mouth.
Which set me off for two completely different reasons. Reason one is that of course, he's onto the fact that I am obviously not telling him the truth, and secondly, it's the lack of trust radiating from him.
It's been said that I trusted Levi with personal, emotional problems regarding me and my life before that could only affect me and me only, and the same goes for him.
Considering he always vents to me about his problems regarding school, his fear of not getting into an Ivy League University as well as that scholarship that he so desperately wants, and maintaining his streak when it comes to the basketball team.
We both trusted one another with information like those, the very mundane ones. However, we also can't seem to trust one another when it comes to issues that are only bound to have either one of us interfere in the other one's dilemma.
It's always been like that, and I don't wanna be hypocritical by saying I feel slightly hurt that he couldn't trust me because, truthfully speaking, I couldn't fucking trust him either.
So it's only valid if the feelings are mutual with him not believing the lies that are spewing out of my mouth right now because the same issue has happened before, it's just his conscience not wanting the same thing being repeated all over again.
But I know him. I know that he's aware of how much the previous argument we had forced me to think he had the littlest bit of faith in me, ergo, he doesn't wanna go through that the second time around days after it had just occurred.
That's why it didn't surprise me, that despite his tone being evidently skeptical, he chose to respond in the end with a: "Okay, I believe you."
And me, nonchalantly responding and dismissing his doubt for my own, sick, twisted desires, replied with a: "Thank you."
Levi and I never had any sort of drastic issues back then that we couldn't fix to the point that it could ruin our relationship. In a way, it was the little things such as him and I blowing things out of proportion due to the insufficient trust we have for one another.
But somehow, I knew, if the little things like this start to pile up from one white lie to another, it's gonna morph into that one big, gigantic, life-threatening problem that neither one of us would've expected nor wanted.
But in an even more twisted way, that sentence alone is also partially a lie.
Because yes, neither one of us would've wanted it.
But that doesn't mean that even from the start, we hadn't expected it.
* * *
That doesn't mean I'm planning to keep him in the shadows forever.
I admit that I didn't tell him the full story, but that's what always happens in the beginning. I check the aftermath of the situation to know if it's that critical to tell him or to keep it sugarcoated for as long as I know it won't be an issue in the future.
One that we'll just plainly disregard once I mention it, because I may hide the truth, and half of the things I've done maybe considered lying, but is it really lying if you're only waiting on the right time to finally say it?
That's why as my mom and I drive through the neighborhood where my supposed fiance lives, I have the plan of what I'm supposed to do once I find out who he is already formulating inside my head.
The first plan is that if the guy isn't enrolled in my school, which I hope to God not, and he turns out to be somewhat harmless then yeah, I will tell Levi about the arranged marriage.
But what happens if not? What happens if he's the literal depiction of everything you've ever feared in life and so much more? What then, huh genius?
I shut down the cynical voice in my brain, clearly not in the mood to keep up with her bullshit.
"Hey." my mom calls out softly, smiling as she briefly averts her gaze from the road "You okay?"
I smile back at her, crossing my arms over my chest as I lean back on the passenger seat of the car "Yeah, yeah, of course. Why wouldn't I be?"
"Um, I don't know. Considering not only a few days ago you were more than ready to bite my head off as soon as you found out about the engagement." she teased as I playfully rolled my eyes. "This is a huge deal, you're gonna meet your beloved fiance soon."
"Mom, don't start." I said, chuckling as she laughed "It's solely based on business, there's nothing to fret over about if none of this is real. No real feelings, no nothing."
"Alright, alright." she said, "But... are you sure you're okay with this?"
I stared at her, arching an eyebrow "Yeah, I said I was, didn't I?"
"I know, but are you sure you're okay with me pre-arranging your marriage?" she asked, the guilt in her voice evident "It's just that a moment like this is very significant to one's life. Are you sure it's okay for me to plan your first ever wedding this way?"
I shook my head "Mom, it's okay. Technically yes, this would be my first wedding but it's not like this will be the wedding I'll have with the love of my life or anything, so it doesn't really count. Plus first kisses or even first weddings don't hold too much value for me, especially if they don't mean anything to me in any sort of way. I'm not that kind of person."
She had a thoughtful look on her face, a sad one, the kind that showed she was in too deep with the situation. Like it was either she was trying to reassure herself that I was right and that she should indeed not worry, but the selfless part of her brain was too overwhelmed.
Because my mom had always been the one to be selfless, she always preferred to bite the bullet in every situation and to put everybody else above her. This was only one of those rare circumstances she had asked me for a favor, though it is a huge one, which is why she's being more anxious about this whole thing than I am. It's because I know she still feels guilty.
This is why the second the engines stopped and my mother had parked the car, she faced me with the most dubious look on her face and asked: "Again, Maggie, I'm asking you one more time, once and for all, are you sure you wanna go through with this?"
I sighed at that "Mom, yes, I'm sure."
"You say that now but what happens in a couple of months? Or weeks? Or hours from now once you find out who you're gonna be engaged to?" she asked, a deep frown on her face "I need to be sure because I can't risk putting you in a situation I know you cannot handle."
"Mom." I took her hands in mine and gently squeezed them "I'm fine, I got this. I know what I'm putting myself into and we've gone through tougher shit than this before. Trust me, I'm sure."
I rubbed the side of her palm with my thumbs, before lifting them up and softly kissing her knuckles "You know me, I'm strong. You didn't raise a weak bitch."
"Language." she said, laughing softly as a few tears brimmed in her eyes as she wiped them away "I just feel bad, you know?"
"But you don't have to be," I said.
She lets out a shaky breath, before nodding, a tight smile on her face "Okay, okay, just be sure to tell me everything, okay? Once we go into that house, if you sense any sort of bad vibes, if they send any sort of the wrong signal that makes you feel uncomfortable, you tell me."
"I'm guessing they aren't that bad."
"You can never know." she said, "It's still best to be sure."
We got out of the car and made our way to the house facing the driveway, and looking at it now and thinking back to my mom's brief consolation, which was something she did to physically and mentally prepare me for what I was about to see, boy, did she know what she had to do, alright. As a matter of fact, she should've done a lot more than just a quick pep talk.
Because what greeted me was a large, residential area, secured by tall, black aluminum gates with brick walls that traveled around each end of the yard.
As I peered inside, freshly cut, extensive grass was in plain view, as well as a large, Resin Angel stone water fountain that was placed right in the center, taking up a huge portion of the front yard alone, and the house? The house was goddamn majestic.
High walls, with lengthy stairs that went from below the front yard to the main door, which from my point of view were humongous, wooden double doors.
The walls were painted in egg-shell white while the roof was glossed into this chocolate, brown shade. There were high-walled windows at each corner of the house that was probably overlooked by the multiple rooms from the inside.
I feel like Elizabeth Bennet when she saw Pemberley for the first time in Pride and Prejudice.
"Where'd you find these people?" I whispered in shock as my mom walked up beside me.
"I guess that's what connections from your father can get you." she remarked dryly before she pushed one of the buttons in the intercom "Hello? Yes, it's me, Veronica Carpenter. I'm here to visit Tiffany and Mason with my daughter Maggie."
The intercom beeps before a voice says "Welcome, Ms. Carpenter. You may enter." The gates opened slowly with a piercing, metal screech before we made our way inside, with me admiring every aspect and detail of the garden and again, all the way back to the house as we neared it.
We walked up to the stairs until finally, we were by the wooden double doors. Seeing everything now much closer, I can see why my mother would want to warm me up before meeting these people because their house alone is already too intimidating for me to handle.
"Are you ready?" she asked, her eyes meeting mine in a fleeting moment of comfort.
I let out a chuckle. "If the Resin Angel Fountain wasn't enough to prepare me with everything that I've got, I don't know what will."
She returned my laughter with a slight shake of her head, amused "I know it's all too overwhelming but trust me, judging by the emails, they don't seem that bad."
"Oh yeah, sure, because emails definitely identify someone's character."
"Oh, don't be such a downer. People of higher status aren't always that bad."
"Tell that to Dad, and aren't these his connections, you said?" I joked as she gave me a blank look before pressing the doorbell.
It took a while before someone responded to the signal of our arrival. It was silent, but once it was responded, good lord, was it a response, alright.
Because before any of us expected it, the doors flew open, revealing a captivating woman who looked to be in her early 40s, with her blonde hair tied into a neat bun, her body hugged by an elegant, sleek black dress that reached down to her feet, her lips painted in crimson red while her blue eyes beamed in joy at the sight of us, a huge animated smile plastered on her face.
"The Carters! Oh gosh, have I been waiting!" she cheered as she opened the doors wider while throwing her hands up into a dramatic gesture as if to say 'Welcome to my grand, ethereal, and majestic but still humble abode.'
"You ladies look gorgeous," she said, pulling my mother into an embrace.
My mother hugged her back, chuckling "Same goes to you, Tiffany. You look stunning."
Tiffany smiled at her compliment before her expressive, blue eyes met mine, shining along with her bright, wide smile as she cupped her hands to her mouth, displaying a mixture of what seemed to be pleasure and disbelief.
"This must be Maggie," she said before hugging me as well but unlike my mother, I ended up standing there frozen between her arms, not knowing how to respond to such affection. "You look just as beautiful as your mom. So sophisticated, and divine."
I smiled at her, quite overcome by such compliments "Thank you so much, ma'am."
"Oh, don't be so formal, now! Call me Tiffany!" she said as I nodded, feeling awkward.
"As you wish. Tiffany." I said, causing her to laugh as she gently guided me and my mother inside her house.
"Come in! Come in! Make yourselves feel at home and oh, will Mason be delighted to see you two." she said and I took my time to acknowledge the house now that I'm here inside.
The floors were marble and the walls and ceilings were painted in a rich creamy white color that complemented the dark, brown furniture.
Down to the chairs, the couch, tables, and portrait frames, along with an entrancing, massive chandelier that hung from the ceiling facing directly down below the long staircase that was built into a spiral-like design "Your house is beautiful." I voiced out which Tiffany took to smile and laugh at, clearly endeared by my adoration for her house.
"Thank you, dear. Not as beautiful as you, though." she said with a twinkling look in her eyes "I can't wait until my son sees you, he's always been fond of girls like you. Classy but chic, it's his ideal type so as he said, so it's safe to say you're just his perfect match."
Woah there, don't get too excited now, a nagging voice inside my head exclaimed, First of all, nobody in this house is his match. Specifically me. This is arranged, may I remind you.
Second of all, classy and chic? What does that even mean? Wait until she gets a taste of how vulgar I really am. By then, she'll see classy, alright-
Stop it, the more rational, agreeable voice in my brain interrupted, This is for your mother, and are you honestly gonna act this childish just because she's complimenting you? She has been nothing but pleasant to you since the second you stepped into her house. The least you could do is be kind, verbally, and mentally.
Damn me and my inner voice not allowing me to be condescending for once.
Footsteps suddenly resonated inside the room and we turned around only to be greeted by the sight of a man that looked to be in his 40s as well.
With sharp, attractive eyes and a soft stubble covering his strong, muscular jaw, and a well-built physique that was hugged by a plain white button-up shirt, he looked every bit of Godly.
He sported the ideal appearance of a man who knew his shit, a businessman rather, appearing quite polished, professional yet devilishly gorgeous.
You know what, the mischievous voice inside my head purred, I might be having second thoughts if their son is the one I actually wanna be engaged to.
Oh my god! Can you stop that?! That is your future father-in-law, you sicko! He could pass off as your own goddamn father, logical me exclaimed once more, making me shudder.
What is wrong with me today?
Tiffany smiled upon seeing her husband "Mason, you're here."
"I am." he said, a grin on his face as he stepped closer towards us "These must be The Carters, it's so nice to finally meet you, ladies."
"Nice to meet you as well, Mason. Here's my daughter Maggie-" my mother then carefully pushed me forward, and I raised my hand to shake Mason's.
Which he took whilst giving me a charming smile, and it wasn't even a smile really, it looked quite teasing in the way his lips tugged up.
As more of a smirk. He smiled like he knew something you didn't. Like he had something up his sleeves that you don't know about, and somehow, that little characteristic alone reminded me of someone I didn't wanna think about at the moment.
"Nice to meet you, Maggie." Mason said, pulling Tiffany to his side as he gave us a courteous nod "Like your mother, you are very much a stunning girl. I can't wait until my son meets you."
"Which speaking of," Tiffany said as Mason turned to her "Where is Evan?"
I felt my stomach drop at the name. Wait a goddamn minute.
"Oh, he said he'll be down in a minute, you know that boy. He always takes longer to get ready, though he did just come back from school." No, no, no, this has to be a coincidence.
"Um, may I just ask..." I said as both of them diverted their attention back at me "W-what school does your son go to?"
"Oh, he goes to a school near here, actually," Tiffany informed, "You might've heard of it, Henderson High?" and just like that, my brain immediately shuts down.
"No way, Maggie goes there." My mom said enthusiastically "They must know each other."
"Well, we'll just have to see. Because-" with that, footsteps resonated from upstairs as I lowered my gaze to my shoes, my heart pounding "Here he is."
My hands were sweating, I felt my heart race in a way it has never pumped before as my throat went dry, my chest suddenly constricting "Maggie." Tiffany said the second those footsteps faded "Meet Evan."
I look up, and as I do, my brain went from shutting down, to full-blown haywire.
Because all that seemed clear was the sight of Evan fucking Williams looking at me.
His familiar, teasing smirk plastered on his face "Hello, Maggie," he said, maintaining eye contact as my name slipped past his tongue as if it were the first time he'd said it.
Like this was the first time we've ever seen each other.
"It's so nice to see you."
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