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Chapter Fourteen: Maggie

Being able to survey Evan while he's lurking around my house has its pros and cons.

The obvious wrongs of it all are that he's in my house when he has no reason to be here. Most days, he comes alongside Tiffany and Mason to check up on my mother but spends half of his time pushing my buttons, sometimes he comes alone, doing the same thing.

Being annoying for no gosh darn reason.

Throughout the whole torture of it all, however, I have been able to survey him, and from what I've gathered after reconciling with Levi days ago is that there is no chance I could find myself being remotely attracted to this boy whatsoever.

And the obvious question arises, why must I think of such a thing? Because in the process of preparing myself to tell Levi about the engagement, I also have to make sure that I make it absolutely clear that everything is just business between us. Nothing more.

That there is no way, in hell, that I could envision myself being remotely attracted to this childish, vulgar excuse of a human being who, for some reason, despite being older than me, acts like he's still in preschool.

He doesn't know how to look after himself, he whines when he's stepping foot into a house that isn't even his, and just comes to me for his daily dose of entertainment.

Being able to contrast between both of them, I can guarantee that if Levi were to be in a state of shock amidst all of this, his mind would immediately be put at ease knowing that this whole engagement could lead to nothing more than just revamping Carpenters & Field.

The question is, when am I gonna tell him?

Pacing back and forth in the space of my room, I rattle my mind from a single one-liner to another that would eventually build-up to the revelation that is the engagement,

But so far, I've made absolutely no progress.

"Okay, so I know this is gonna be hard for you to fathom, but just hear me out, okay?" I said, reenacting the lines I've been creating in my head out loud that I'll be saying to Levi "So you know about the issue regarding my mother and my father? Well, as you probably don't know, there's more to the story than I've led you on..."

As I continue to reenact the lines I've formulated inside my head of what I'm going to say to Levi once I reveal the arranged marriage to him, I can't help but find myself struggling once I reach the part of said revelation.

"So with that being said, my mom decided that I'd be involved in an arranged marriage with Evan Williams." I finished, before groaning "Oh my God, that sounds horrible!"

"I'll be honest with you, it does." a voice announced, "You're probably the worst person to break news this bad, you say it as if you're in a meeting and not telling your boyfriend that your relationship is practically over."

I sighed, irritated, "What are you doing here, Williams?"

I turn around to see him leaning against the doorframe of my bedroom, looking amused with my current display as he tilts his head. "Your mom decided that since I've been coming over a lot recently that it's understandable that I pack up a few things to put in the guest bedroom. You know, just in case."

I raise an eyebrow at that "In case of what? You're not gonna be hoarding yourself into this house more than you need to if that's what you're thinking,"

He grinned "To make it fair, you can bring your stuff back to our place if you ever plan to visit. Considering you know, we have to make it believable that we are eligible to be engaged."

"I'm not risking getting any of my belongings contaminated in your house." I bit back, moving past him and out of the room.

He sniggered, following close behind me as we descended down the stairs "You hurt me, Carter. You honestly do."

Coming down the living room, my eyes immediately fall to the pile of luggage dumped near the front door, obviously belonging to no other than Evan as I let a sneer form on my face at the sight "If you're gonna waltz into this house, at least come in the way that you've seen it."

He follows my gaze, dismissively waving at his belongings "I'll handle that later."

I roll my eyes, making a beeline towards the kitchen as Evan occupies himself by slumping his entire body on our couch "I mean it, I don't wanna have to see your junk around here. It's already enough I have to see your face-"

"It seems as though whatever crawled up your ass last Thursday still hasn't left the darkened depths of your buttcrack," he mocked as I glared at him "Seriously, it's like as long as I breathe you can find ways to try and criticize me."

"And you act as if you don't deserve it," I told him, reaching over the fridge to get myself a glass of orange juice before shutting it close and heading back upstairs.

"You come into this house acting as if it's your own, and behave like a brat while you're at it. Do me a favor and treat this engagement as a way for us to be as far away from each other, not the other way around." I said, "And clean your damn junk while you're at it!"

"Jesus Christ." I hear him groan "You see, this is the reason why even though this engagement isn't legit, having to do this for business still feels like a pain in the ass. You act as if you're the only one who's forced to endure this whole thing, like do you honestly believe I come here because I want to? Get a hold of yourself."

I stop at my tracks as he continues, all the while feeling his stare burn holes at the back of my head. "You think too highly of yourself and you're not as nice as you appear and on top of that, you can't even go out of your way to help me with my luggage."

"Instead, you just yap about it as if you own this house, and as far as I'm concerned, your daddy bought this house, didn't he? It was the only thing he left for you and your mother, maybe that's why you act like too much of a prissy, little bitch about it?"

I gripped the railings of the stairs tightly, too tightly that I could feel the now faded shade of purple and white hues appear on my knuckles.

"How can you expect anyone to want to be with you, Carter? To actually wanna be engaged to you? I may act like an asshole sometimes, but at least girls find me appealing, but you?" he snickered "Please, it won't be long before Levi realizes what he had signed up for, and then he'll be out the door trying to score one of those hot cheerleaders on his basketball team before you can even tell him about the engagement."

"You're not all that, Carter. You're just an unlikeable loudmouth who's only gonna be able to find love because mommy and daddy's marriage didn't turn out well-"

He was silenced as the sounds of glass shattering filled the room, with the glass in my hand colliding with the hard wall as Evan flinched back, staring at me with wide, horrified eyes.

"Shut. The. Hell. Up." I drawled, breathing hard "Shut up! Who do you think you are, huh?"

"Are you fucking insane-"

"You listen to me now and you better listen well," I growled, marching my way towards him "Don't you dare talk about my family as if our situation was just some ordinary outcome of a failed marriage and an overreacting daughter who can't grasp the concept of that. You don't know anything and if you knew half of what I've been through, believe me, the fact that I'm still standing in this house and claiming it as my own would make it seem like I'm a freakin' martyr."

"I don't care what kind of girl you want to be engaged to but if it's nothing like me, then I couldn't be any more contented with that because men like you always just want girls to be eating at the palm of your hand and think that everything in this world will be handed to you but guess what? That's never gonna be the case."

"I don't need boys like you telling me what I am and what I'm not, so what if I am not good enough for you? Do you think that I care? Do you think that I care about what boys like you think? Men like you who are equally pathetic and entitled as my father, want from a woman?" I laughed sardonically, "I could give less than two shits."

Evan doesn't utter a word, just simply stares at me, downright speechless "I am not gonna let close-minded imbeciles like you define who I am as a person." I told him, firmly emphasizing every word as I clenched my jaw, my eyes leveled with his.

"If you think for one second that I am gonna let you talk shit about me in my own house, you thought wrong," I said, backing away slowly "This house may have belonged to my father, but leaving it to us is the least that he could've done for being the incompetent asshole that he is,"

With that, I turned back around and headed back upstairs to my room "And clean your fucking junk out the door or else!"

* * *

As I lay here in bed, the only thought that crossed my mind for the past hour was that I should've thrown that vase near the stairs as well.

I rub my temple, trying to decide if I had gone a little bit overboard or was it right to act so impulsively like that. I never acted that way before.

After recollecting what I had done was when it also dawned on me that a whole new side of me took over. A side that finally found a reason to release all the pent-up anger I've had bottled up inside me that was violently trying to free itself from the confinements of my overgrowing patience.

The patience I've chained around myself to not act out to the wrongs of what my father did, the decisions of what my father made, the remarks Evan had said, and just all the endless hurdles that I've been faced with but never got the chance to speak up about because I've held myself back.

Now after being perpetually thrown into numerous complications that finally gave me a reason to be mad, to finally say what I wanna say, I guess made me act out on impulse.

I won't lie, as much as I acknowledge the fact that I stood up to Evan, I saw a little bit of my father within me, for just a split second.

And I hated it.

The moment was tarnished just like so, as I then realized that I've been throwing it at Evan's face how awful he was to act so compulsively towards his thoughtless desires when here I am, just hours ago so close to destroying the side of his face with a glass of orange juice.

Practice what you preach. You're about hating men like your father when in reality you aren't any different from them by acting so... maniacally like that.

I shook my head, wondering if Evan had already left after the whole fiasco. He must've, it'd be crazy if he hadn't, because I don't think anyone that close to having one side of their face completely massacred would stay any longer than a second around here.

A knock landed on my bedroom door "Maggie, sweetheart?"

It was Frank "Yeah?"

"I finished cleaning the shattered glass downstairs, just to let you know."

I groaned "Okay, thanks for that. And um, one question, has Evan already left?"

"Actually, that's also one of the few things I came up here for."

Knitting my eyebrows in confusion, I sit up to face Frank to see that he's only sticking his head in to look at me, his body covered by the door "And that is?"

Just like that, he widens the door open and Evan, looking every bit uneasy, comes into view "I wanted him to accompany me up here, you know, just in case..." he explained.

I rolled my eyes "What did you think was gonna happen if you came up here alone? That I was gonna murder you?"

I tried to sit up straight and as I did so Evan immediately backed up behind Frank, using him as some sort of human shield.

I looked at him incredulously. "Calm down, I was just gonna sit up straight so I can face you."

He nodded, exchanging looks with Frank as he sighs, stepping aside so Evan can walk inside my room, his steps every bit reluctant "Just making sure."

The room was silent as we didn't say anything for a while, with Evan trying to avoid contact as I did the same, but even so, I can still feel his eyes inspecting me. Pinning me down as if he was trying to figure out what I might be feeling or thinking right now.

Probably wondering if I have a glass of orange juice somewhere to throw at him.

I couldn't help but sigh at the thought, despite how slightly humorous it is "I'm sorry about earlier. I won't lie, I did go a little bit overboard."

"Kind of an understatement." he retorted.

I pursed my lips, holding up a hand for him to shut up for a second "No, listen. I did. I don't know what went over me but you have to understand words like that hurt."

"And you think some of the words you've said to me didn't?" he said defensively "Look, if you want this engagement to work we have to get along one way or another because arguing and fighting for no goddamn reason will only want us to tear each other's heads off."

"I know. I just..." I trailed off "It's still sinking in to me that this engagement happened. I never planned this, even though I agreed to it there's still this part of me that wants to get out of this because I already want things to go back to how they were. I thought everything was going so well now that my father is out of the picture and if you hadn't already guessed, I hate him."

"But then this arranged marriage came along and you're here talking about him and even acting like him, just saying all these condescending things the way he did and it's like he never even left." I confessed, "It's hard and yes, that's the reason why I acted so violently myself but..."

"You can't just say things like that. I admit I've said some pretty harsh things as well, and I'm still trying to better myself and be more empathetic." I added.

"That's why it also dawned on me that I pretty much transformed into my father, and I don't ever wanna be like that, even towards an engagement that isn't real." I looked up to see that already he's staring back at me "To just blow things out of proportion and lose my mind like that, and as much as it's hard to believe, I don't wanna have to do that to you."

He turns his head away from me, trying to process what I just said as he closes his eyes and lets out a longing breath, his arms crossed over his chest, pondering.

"I understand, but as long as you still don't know how to figure some of your shit out, I'll do you a favor and try my best not to get nearby, because, in all honesty, we drive each other insane. Although I admit what I've said was pretty fucked up, and maybe I am just some immature asshole and maybe you're just too strict and uptight and I'm not like that."

"Again, I'm sorry about what I said, and yes, maybe I am just some immature punk and maybe you are a loudmouth who won't stop pointing that out, and maybe that's why a real engagement can never actually happen between the two of us."

He takes a step back, holding the door open "Let's just make a pact that starting now... we try our best to stay away and not make each other so mad like this, because God forbid this engagement will actually make us closer together."

With that, he steps out of the room, leaving me alone.

Even though at the start this is what I wanted, for him to finally leave me alone and for us to stay as further away from each other, to actually see him walk out that door, to realize that this wasn't gonna work out between us, that we were just too different to be compatible and that he finally caught on with that and gave up, made a dull feeling suddenly ache inside me.

As if him leaving me alone solved nothing.

As if it wasn't the first thing that I wanted.

Instead of feeling victorious, I felt like no one won.

Not even me.

I shut my eyes. "I hate this," I muttered before falling back onto my bed.

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