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Chapter Fifteen: Maggie

He hasn't been coming over ever since.

I honestly didn't know what to presume of that considering he just went from spontaneously welcoming himself into our house to just not... doing so anymore.

Yes, I don't wanna have to contradict myself and say that I didn't want this, because I did, and in a way, I am content with the fact that he's not visiting anymore.

But the spontaneity of it did catch me off guard because I didn't think that I'd be able to just shoo him off like that. However, in his defense, I did throw a glass of orange juice at him.

If it were the other way around, I wouldn't wanna be near me either.

Then again, who would ever wanna be near me in the first place?

"How can you expect anyone to want to be with you, Carter?"

"To actually wanna be engaged to you?"

"No, don't think about it." I keep telling myself, recapitulating what he had said, and feeling myself become bitter each time "He deserved this, and him not being here is good for you."

Which it is, I don't wanna have to let the unavoidable guilt fool me into thinking that all of this was my fault. Like him not knowing his limits and where his boundaries are is my fault.

I shouldn't let his crass behavior go unnoticed. He's had people let him get away with things his entire life and for once, me being fully aware of all the rash actions he's done, discreet or not, will not go unnoticed. I'm not gonna allow him to think that the way he acts, being so ignorant of other people's feelings and all, is acceptable.

Yes, maybe I am being hypocritical because I've been doing anything but, but the truth is, when it comes to people like Evan, they don't need someone sugarcoating things for them.

What they need is a big, fat reality check to be slapped right across their faces.

Call me harsh, but that's how I deal with things. I don't deal with things by being gentle, by being naive, and just letting the other person recklessly go around doing as they please thinking they'll change on their own.

Some people might be able to do that, to pick up quickly on what they did wrong and to try and better themselves afterward, but I knew the second I met Evan was that he does things with an uninhibited mindset.

Which explains this dull, lingering feeling of him not being here and not wanting to be around me nor this house, because this is what I want, but why doesn't it feel that way?

"Hey," I look up from the book that I'm reading to see my mother peeking her head inside my room. "I just wanted to let you know that the Williams invited us for brunch at their house."

The information gave me a sudden rush of both restlessness and weirdly enough... exhilaration as well. I felt uneasy about this whole thing but at the same time, I'm looking forward to it.

* * *

We drove to the Williams residence, with me being deep in thought, sitting in the passenger seat with my cheek resting on my knuckles, gazing longingly outside the car's window, wondering if Evan is currently at their house or if he isn't.

If he is, God forbid we see each other.

I don't know if there will be an awkward tension that'll arise between us, the argument that we had days ago was pretty intense, and in a way, it was also the first time I've ever really... opened up to him.

I told him about what was really going on with me and how this engagement was taking a toll on my mentality, and though I did get some of the pressure off my shoulders, to see that the outcome resulted in him suddenly avoiding me was unexpected.

Then again, that was the first time I didn't hold myself back from what I wanted to say.

It was always just me limiting myself in the words that I say in fear that the people around me would judge me and my problems, and I guess I find it no surprise that as soon as I try to be genuinely vulnerable to someone, they just... leave.

"How can you expect anyone to want to be with you, Carter?"

I sigh, feeling the car stop as my mom parks on the Williams' driveway as she cuts off the ignition, faces me, and smiles "Shall we go inside?"

As always, we were greeted by the wide and joyful smiles of Tiffany and Mason, and sometimes I wonder where Evan gets his personality from. His blunt, insensitive, and brooding attitude, his need to always be compulsive. Because from what I've seen of Tiffany and Mason, they were far from whatever the hell their son ended up becoming.

"I thought maybe we can have brunch in the backyard, it's sunny outside and the weather is amazing," Tiffany said.

"That would be lovely, and will Evan be joining us as well?" my mother asked.

Tiffany pressed her lips into a thin line, shaking her head "Unfortunately, no. He invited a friend over a few hours ago and they're upstairs in his room, chatting along."

Good. At least I won't have to worry about seeing him while I'm here.

We proceeded to have brunch, and the day went well so far. The sun was gleaming beautifully behind the white, translucent clouds, shooting rays of sunlight that made the water in the backyard's swimming pool almost glimmer.

It wasn't too hot, just the right temperature with a little bit of wind flaring by, blowing past my hair as we continued with the day eating pastries, eggs, and simple delicacies.

I sipped my tea as I watched Tiffany tell a story about her working for the family company in her twenties, fresh and just had gotten out of college and trying to grasp the complexity of it all, her hands animatedly waving around her as her eyes sparkled.

"I barely knew how to work the FAX machine and there I was managing my own company, that's why as this engagement continues I will do my best to guide Maggie and Evan so that they don't end up like me," Tiffany said, beaming as her gaze fell to me.

I smiled appreciatively at her and so did my mom as she swirls the little teaspoon in her cup, staring at it longingly "That would be lovely."

I look down at my own cup to see that it's already empty, and simultaneously I feel my bladder twitch "Excuse me, but I just have to use the restroom."

"Of course, dear."

With that, I rise from my seat and head back inside. So far, no sight of Evan anywhere, and if Tiffany runs out of stories to tell about her days working for their family's company and how hilarious it was that she destroyed half of their office supplies and we get home early, I'll be fine.

"... I don't know. Like all the girls I've been with, it was a lot easier to figure out, but I'm not even really dating this girl and she's already too much for me to handle."

"Well, you won't make any progress if you keep putting her into this gender-based stereotype instead of trying to figure her out as a normal human being."

"Ugh, here you go again, and your tendency to be so condescending."

I freeze in my tracks as the familiar sound of Evan's voice resonates through the spacious living room, sounds of footsteps resonating from upstairs.

"I'm not trying to be condescending and make you seem like an idiot. Maybe if you just tried to pick up hints and understand her as an actual human being, then it would be easy."

"Well, I'm not some sort of fucking psychic now I am, Wright?"

"You don't have to be psychic to pick up on hints that you're pushing someone's buttons. Have you ever tried to talk to her but she doesn't respond? Maybe she just doesn't want to talk and maybe I don't know, try and respect that?"

"Well, how are we supposed to get along and make this engagement work if we don't at least try to communicate?"

"You don't have to get along to make it work, though."

I peeked a lot closer to the source of the voice and saw two figures enter the living room, one obviously being Evan, the other being another boy who's about the same height as him with a mop of messy, blonde hair that reached down the nape of his neck and below his ears.

I could see the outlines of his pale face and his clothing. Just a baggy sweater with stripes of red, blue, and white, baggy ripped jeans, and a pair of white Chuck Taylors, definitely not the kind of guy I would imagine Evan to be hanging out with.

"But I'm sick of this, I'm sick of her always acting like all of this is my fault. Like I have no say in whatever my parents decide yet she's against me as if I did have a say in it."

"Maybe she's just trying to adjust and is having a hard time doing so."

"It's been weeks."

"Well, try to be patient. For all you know, she might not even be that bad."

"Yeah? Do you even know what Maggie Carter is like? I mean, have you seen her at school?" Evan retorted, shaking his head.

"You know questions about me stepping out of our inner circle is out of the picture"

"Exactly! You keep your head down and you only ever hang out with either me, Zach, and Colin. That's why it's hard for you to grasp what I'm saying here because you have no insight on her."

"Well, I guess I'll just have to introduce myself when the right time comes." Wait, is this guy...

My eyes widened at the realization as I stepped in, interrupting their conversation "Evan!"

Evan stumbles back, shocked to see me as his friend turns his attention towards me, and if he was surprised as well to see me, he wasn't showing it.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Carter!" Evan bellowed as Tiffany's voice then rang from the backyard.

"What's going on out there?"

"Nothing!" I shout back "I just bumped into Evan and got so... excited to see him, that's all."

"Aww, that's sweet." she cooed, buying into it "Well, have fun catching up, you two!"

"What the hell is the matter with you?" I hissed as soon as Tiffany was out of earshot "Why are you talking about our engagement to your friends at school? Haven't you been listening to a goddamn word I said about not wanting this whole thing to get out?"

"Chill out, nothing about the engagement is gonna get out. I'm not stupid enough to just go around and tell anybody that I don't trust about it."

"Well, from the looks of it, you are pretty damn stupid because you can't just trust anybody with these sorts of things, Evan!"

"Maybe when it comes to you and your friends, you can't."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means your friends are as much of a loudmouth as you are!"

"You can't back shit up!"

"One of your friends literally spies on my friends just to make me and my relationships look bad." he defended as I laughed mockingly at his accusation.

"Oh, get a hold of yourself, you're not that special."

"And neither are you!"

"Okay, okay, let's just calm down." Evan's friend suddenly butts in, staring at both of us with wide, horrified eyes "I know all of this is fake but the way you two are arguing now, makes it seem as if you two are an actual couple, who needs a little bit of therapy."

"Not in a million years," I remarked as Evan gave me a look of his own.

He diverts his attention to his friend, gesturing to me "See, what I mean? Not only is she so hostile but she lacks manners as well."

"And you're too erratic." I snapped as he narrowed his eyes at me in response.

"Okay, to put everybody's minds at ease, I'll start." his friend says "Hi, my name is Jasper, Jasper Wright. I'm a friend of Evan's and yes, he did tell me about the engagement, however, to rest assure you, I carry no ill-intentions. Because Evan and I have been friends since..."

"Kindergarten." Evan intervened.

"Yes, and being such a close and long-time friend of his, I think it's only understandable that during moments in which he feels the most distressed, he comes to me."

I was still a little bit apprehensive and I could see by the way Jasper was looking at me that he was sensing it too, with that, he sighs.

"How about you and I chat for a while?"

* * *

I don't know how Jasper managed to get Evan's whiny ass to go up to his room, but as soon as he did, I knew these two weren't just acquaintances.

He struck me more as someone Evan would refer to as a brother if not a best friend because they seem to share a certain closeness where Evan is the untamed one and Jasper is the one who puts him in his place. They appear to have that kind of friendship.

"Now that Evan isn't here, we can be able to talk," Jasper said as he sat down with me on the living room couch, smiling at me "It's nice to properly meet you."

"Same." I told him "And I'm sorry about me throwing a huge fit a while ago."

"Oh no, it's okay," he affirmed, "I can understand where that reaction may have come from, from what Evan told me that between the two of you, it's been a lot harder for you to cope."

"Which it has," I confirmed, "Not because I don't have the backbone to absorb all of this, it's just that it has been... hard."

"Which it is, I can only imagine what going through an arranged marriage at such a young age would feel like, and exactly how old are you exactly?"

"Seventeen."

"Dang, and how long has it been since you've been enrolled in Henderson High?"

"Since junior year."

"Huh, so from what I can assume you've managed to keep tabs on Evan and his history since he was sixteen, I'm guessing?"

"Yup, that's why when my mother broke the news to me about the engagement and it was to be with Evan all this time, you can say I wasn't necessarily pleased."

"From what I can imagine, Evan also told me about the whole Mandy incident?"

I gulped "Yeah, that was actually the reason why I had ended up disliking him. I mean, I wasn't fond of him throughout the years, hearing about him and his rather scandalous relationships, but the incident with Mandy at the library really set me off, and one thing led to another... the feeling became mutual."

Jasper gazed at me with an indecipherable look in his eyes, straightening his posture before he hunched over, putting his arms against his knees as he tilted his head to look at me.

"Look, I know we can have our own different opinions and I'm not trying to dictate yours. Throughout his relationships, Evan hasn't necessarily been low maintenance, he is loud, he can be belligerent and to be real, I can see why despite doing this for business, being engaged to him is already exhausting you. Because personally, he is quite a handful. He needs work."

"Almost all of the girls Evan has been with have been too nice to try and call him out on his mistakes. That's why he ends up doing the things that he pleases, whether or not they're wrong. He's grown a little bit entitled."

"But you came along and suddenly Evan is thrown into this world that he isn't familiar with, one where every little word he says just can't be dismissed, and he feels disoriented because he isn't used to being treated that way, that's why he acts out. And I know you don't owe him your consideration because you were forced into this, but all I wanna say is... be careful with him."

"Be bold and be blunt, but keep in mind that he's new to this. You don't have to get along with him, and although he does need a little bit of work before he goes out into the world, and he gets engaged to a girl who he actually likes, and maybe you were sent by the universe - okay, don't look at me like that, now - let me be cliche here,"

"Again, maybe you were sent by the universe to guide him through this engagement in more ways than one, but you don't have to repair him, you don't have to keep up with him, come to me if he gets on your nerves one last time and I promise you, he won't even try to talk to you."

"But you gotta remember that Evan has been with people who came and left because they were too afraid to tell him what he did wrong. That's why he's always left out in the dark and that's why he solves problems with aggression because he's usually always met by silence."

"He fights and disregards people because he needs a reaction. To feel that he's worth getting mad at because it gives him hope that by doing so, they have faith that he'll change."

"Overall, just go easy on him, you don't have to talk to him, and I know it's been hard but what you've been doing, calling him out on his bullshit, It's really making him show a side that he's never really shown before."

I raised a brow at that "And that is?"

Jasper gives me an encouraging smile "One that shows he's finally found someone he's willing to try and figure out. Because you gave him something worth holding onto."

* * *

When my mother kept trying to fix my father in hopes that he'll change, that was when I knew some people just aren't capable of changing.

It also made me realize that as women, as much as we wanna live up to the fantasy that these fairytale stories the world has been constantly shoving in our faces since we were little about being saved by Knight in shining armors and vice versa, is that we're also not obligated to save the highly unstable Prince Charmings of the world.

We can't change people, they only need themselves to be better. It's up to them if they wanna pick up on the little lessons thrown by the ones who are willing to see them morph into the person that they're capable of becoming.

Am I someone who thinks Evan is capable of changing? Maybe.

Am I willing to try and help him because of that? I don't know and honestly, I'm in no place to figure out if I will.

After all, you can't change someone, you can only help them be better, and I'm not gonna force myself to push my own limits all because of this engagement and how I'm only here to improve his disposition.

It doesn't have to be personal, ergo, I'm not going to make it personal.

But the world suddenly pauses as I finally face his door. I have to do this, I mean, if all he really wanted to do was try and get along with me, who am I to hate him for that? Even if his way of bonding isn't my cup of tea, he does his best, and maybe being less of a grinch about it would hopefully finally set us both some common ground.

I softly knock on his door as his voice resonates from inside "Jas? Is that you? Come in, buddy."

I didn't want to spoil his mood knowing that the person he wanted to see is actually me, so I just opened the door to see him standing up from his bed, his back turned against me.

"Finally done talking to the Wicked Witch of The West?"

"The Wicked Witch of The West is actually here and your best friend just left."

Evan jumps at the sound of my voice, shocked and rather ashamed with himself "Before you say anything, I wanna apologize about the nickname."

"Don't bother, knowing you and what you think of me, the name couldn't be any more fitting."

He lets out a breath "Look, I'm sorry. As you've mentioned I can be a little bit condescending."

"Understatement of the century," I remarked, looking around his room.

Walls of dark blue and ceiling nooks of black, his room looked like the typical room of an eighteen-year-old boy. Slightly messy and angsty-looking.

"No game consoles of any sort?"

"It's in the media room and I only ever play when I have spare time."

I looked around some more to see that he has a shelf of comics placed near his bathroom "A fan of comic books? Huh, who would've thought."

I stroll over and let my fingertips graze over the spine of the books, intrigued "Who would've thought you were a collector of sorts."

"I've had them since I was ten, something to entertain myself with."

"Interesting." I said as I looked around his room some more "Definitely very Evan, this whole room. Do you play any sports?"

"Played basketball during my sophomore year but eventually got tired. Some of the trophies my team won are in the media room. If I had stayed playing basketball up until now, believe me, Levi wouldn't be dominating that court as much as he thinks he does."

I rolled my eyes at his arrogance "Levi's a great player."

"Not as much as me, though," he says, sitting back on his bed "So judging from the interest you suddenly have for me, I'm guessing Jasper talked you into trying to patch things up?'

"How'd you know?"

"Because he's Jasper. He's really persuasive, he's like a motivational speaker."

I chuckled "I guess you could say that. He said some really fascinating stuff that made me think that... maybe you were right. Maybe I have been a little bit harsh, and not that I'm saying you didn't deserve half of what I did to you-"

"If you're talking about the glass of orange juice incident I think I may have to disagree with you on that one-"

"No, like, with me calling you out on things, and you thinking that what you said to me didn't hurt, and I guess I'd have to include myself into that narrative because quite frankly, I've said some pretty hurtful things myself,"

"It made me realize that maybe we could just try and get along. I mean, you don't have to come to my house and be nice to me because let's be honest, that's not necessary. If it's meant to be, we will get along, I'll try to be more considerate with my words and you can try to be more considerate with your actions."

"Let's just try not to force it is what I'm saying. If we're meant to grow close through this engagement, who says it wouldn't be possible? For now, this is about business and being civilized."

For a moment, I saw a hint of recognition there, but as soon as the subject of business came along, something in his eyes clouded over, quickly as it went away.

"Sure." he holds his hand out to me, smiling at me "To being civilized."

I plaster a smile of my own, taking his hand in mine, feeling the warmth of his palm and his fingers being intertwined with my own.

"To being civilized."

... For a moment there, I really thought we could've done it.

Be civilized.

To just force ourselves to get along.

But little did I soon know, that being normal was never meant for us.

Me and Evan?

Chaos was always straight ahead as long as we walked side by side together.

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