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Chapter Twenty-Two: Maggie

To think we were so close to finally being normal acquaintances.

That we can go a day without fighting at least once, that after such a heartfelt moment last week, we'd at least tone down on the fighting like we always do.

Sad to say we'd revert to our old habits one way or another.

When he picked me up this morning he was dead silent all the way to school, not making eye contact with me and me, being sick and tired of this repetitive game that we keep on playing, couldn't help but address the noticeable tension filling up the air.

"Are we seriously gonna do this right now?" I asked rhetorically, daring him to meet my gaze as I stared at him from across the passenger seat "Are we just not gonna talk to each other like a bunch of children? After everything that we've agreed on, you're just gonna disregard that because you couldn't handle some criticism for your actions?"

As expected, he didn't react to my outburst, just simply looked straight ahead as he tightened his jaw, obviously not in the mood to have another quarrel with me.

Making me let out a scoff "I honestly can't understand you, one moment you're so persistent to try and make this work, for us to get along, only just so that you can find reasons as to why it wouldn't work between us. For you to initiate an argument every five seconds."

"You're acting as if I'm the only one who starts said arguments." he spat.

I pulled a face at him "I do so too, I admit that, but right now? You're the one blowing things out of proportion over something so little."

"When you overreact, it's valid because I lack deliberation, but when I do the same thing I'm being unreasonable. Tell me, how is that fair?"

"Because you purposefully provoke me!" I shot back at him "First it was when you assumed that I wanted to sleep with you over that incident at the hallways when we first met, and when you told me I was too uptight and plain for my own good that it wouldn't be a surprise if Levi broke up with me all because I couldn't help you with your luggage-"

"And then when you picked a fight with Levi without asking from me first if it was okay! While me? I simply stated my input over something that you were only obligated to explain to me, in hopes that I'll understand, which I did, but because of your fragile ego not being able to win me over with your pathetic way of victimizing yourself in a story where you were the one who antagonized someone, you chose to misinterpret my words, and look where we are now!"

I let my body fall limp into my seat, letting out a heavy breath as Evan didn't dare try to debate with me "And now somehow I'm the bad guy?" I added.

He didn't speak even until we reached the parking lot of Henderson High, cutting off the engine of his car as he clicked his tongue, still not making eye contact "Just go, Carter. It's too early to start a goddamn argument with you that could've easily been settled."

I scoffed, shaking my head as I let my lips curl up into a sarcastic grin, taunting "Says you of all people, Williams. Says you." and with that, I grabbed my bag and got out of the car, slamming the door shut on my way out. Fucking hypocrite.

For the first time since last morning, he finally turned his attention towards me, meeting my eye, making me think I had gotten to him and that he was finally willing to compromise-

But unfortunately, when it comes to him, I'm always wrong.

"Can you stop slamming the goddamn door so much?!"

* * *

His friends immediately sensed it.

It's like as soon as they saw us walk into the school they just knew something wasn't right. Their eyes would switch from Evan and me, quite curious, but at the same time, too apprehensive to ask either one of us what's happening. At least, when it came to Evan.

"Girl, what's happening?" Jess asked as she and Ashley pulled me aside as we walked down the hallways "Evan looks like someone pissed in his Froot Loops this morning and you look like you're about to murder someone."

"At this point, it almost feels that way," I muttered as she and Ashley exchanged looks.

"What happened? Just yesterday you and Evan were so cool, still fought around like little kids, but it was playful banter at the very least." Jess proclaimed.

I wasn't gonna stand around here thinking they weren't aware of what might've caused an issue, and knowing Jess, she knew it herself. She's smart but is probably just too cautious to intrude.

"We talked about what happened with Sean." I announced as they waited for me to continue, focused "We talked about it and one thing led to another, some disagreements were made."

"Such as?" Jess asked, her mesmerizing green eyes staring at me intently.

I sighed "He told me about what happened between him and Sean and he probably assumed that I would take his side and just dismiss their history. Instead, I told him I understood why Sean would be wary about me getting involved with him, and he didn't take it very well."

"Well, that's Evan for you," Ashley chided. "He doesn't take criticism very well. People usually tend to let him get away with things, that's why he tends to act out."

"Which is fucking annoying." Jess retorted sharply "No offense to Evan, I get that he's our friend and all, but this is why he tends to be so insecure. That instead of bettering himself when someone calls him out on his mistakes, he gets defensive and all pissy about it."

"Ain't that the truth." I said "It's either he's gonna apologize or give me more reasons to ignore him. It's not my fault and honestly? He's lucky this isn't that much of an intense fight like the ones we've had before, or else we'd resume back to pretending as if neither one of us existed in the first place."

"He'll come around soon enough," Jess reassured "He might be an idiot but he can't be stupid enough to make even more stupid decisions-"

And as Jess continued to talk did my brain just abruptly tune her out, with everything just suddenly becoming static all the way to being... frozen.

As if my surroundings just paused, the background faded and the people's chatter lowered in volume until I could barely hear the swarm of students around me.

For all I can focus on was just two people.

One being a girl pressed up against a locker, and the other being Evan as he hovered and peered down at her with a sly grin on his face.

I don't know why, but something in me just recoiled, do you know that feeling? Like a sudden unbearable sensation shooting right through you, that it almost feels like your entire being is closing in on itself? It's hard to explain, all I know is that it doesn't wanna go away.

It stays there and the more that it does, the more it consumes me, and I don't even know why it does, and if there's one thing I hate the most, it's hurting because of something I can't understand the reason why it's hurting me.

And it's fucking unbearable.

As the more that he leans in, the more the feeling amplifies, and the more that she responds by smiling and laughing to whatever he's saying, the more it layers and crashes me.

It gets even more insufferable as I scream at the sight inside my head because even I can't understand the screams and why they're against the sight before me.

As he would place a hand around her waist, fingers outlining the arch of her body.

"Stop it, you aren't supposed to be doing that."

Or as he bends down to whisper something in her ear.

"Why are you with her? What's the matter with you?"

Or when he smiles down at her as she throws her head back, laughing.

"What did she do for you to be this happy after how you acted this morning?"

It just got so intolerable to watch that I couldn't help but act out on my impulses, which for some reason demanded me to go up there and stop whatever it is that they're doing.

So I did, I marched my way towards them, grabbing Evan by the arm as he swiveled around to face me, quite shocked to be seeing me here "What the hell, Evan?" I snapped as I turned to the girl only for her to stare at me with wide eyes, apologizing before scurrying off.

I watched her walk away before diverting my attention back at Evan, pushing his chest "What the hell do you think you were doing?" his eyebrows furrowed at the suddenness of my arrival before his face crumpled in bewilderment "What the hell was that all about?" he snapped.

I blinked back in shock at the harshness of his tone, but dismissed it afterward as I glowered at him "Answer the question, Evan."

"What do you mean what was I doing? Am I not allowed to speak to other people?"

"Speak? It looked like you were more than just speaking with her, Evan."

He chuckled lowly at that "Why? Is there a problem?"

"Um, yeah, you do realize you can't just go around flirting with other people when the contract states that it's prohibited for us to initiate any sort of romantic relationship with anybody?!"

"Oh please," he bellowed "As if you fucking cared about that contract. Plus weren't you the one who said you'd be more than happy to see a girl actually enjoying my company? So who cares about the contract when you obviously care more about me getting off your back?"

I stared back at him, dumbfounded. Did he do all of this to try and prove a point?

He saw the recognition in my eyes and for some reason, his face hardened "Look, I get how you were forced to end your relationship with Levi, but that doesn't mean you can just go ahead and order me around trying to use me as a way to fill up the empty hole Levi left inside you all just because you can't move on. That's not how it works."

With that, all assumptions died as I felt a wave of heated anger flare inside me, making me shove his chest, which caused him to look at me, quite staggered "What the hell is your problem?!"

I took a step back and glared at him "Don't ever misconceive me calling you out on your bullshit as my way of secretly caring about you. Because I don't, and I never will!"

With that, I turned around and walked off, with Jess and Ashley still standing in their spots, I angrily stumped my way into the halls as they tried to catch up with me.

"What the hell was that all about?" Jess asked, baffled "What happened?"

I clenched my jaw, staying silent. What happened? Well as always, I throw words around to spite someone, despite not meaning them, because that's all Evan and I ever do.

We burn each other out.

* * *

I was contemplating even sitting with him and his friends at their lunch table.

As soon as I walked in, it was almost as if he was able to discern my presence even from a mile away, because almost as if on instinct, he turned his head to make eye contact with me as I entered the room. Making me avert my gaze, planning to just get my lunch and go.

I didn't know where I was gonna be eating but I knew if I even tried to spend another second with him, it wouldn't last long until it showed on my face that our fight had taken a toll on me, in more ways than one.

How it would be evident that he didn't just conventionally anger me like how he always does, but in ways that if he actually took the time to really look at me, he would know that this isn't like our usual disputes.

I don't wanna make this whole bond that we have any more complicated than it already is. We're not friends so it's hard to figure out why we feel the need to reconcile all the time, because it's not like we have reasons to always keep in touch with each other aside from the engagement.

It's not like we're full-time enemies always being at each other's throats, because most times we do see ourselves getting along and enjoying each other's company.

So to add another component to that to which we wouldn't be able to identify? He's not mine to be possessive about, and though it would violate the contract, my intentions to prevent him from setting eyes on anybody else doesn't just revolve around professional concerns...

But something more and that scares the hell out of me.

I don't wanna let him see that, to let him see right through me, and find out that me being angry at him because of wanting to maintain professionalism within the engagement was just a paper-thin layer amongst all the other complications we needed to resolve.

So I did what I always do, I ignored the issue until I calmed myself down hard enough to the point I know I'll be able to handle it soon.

I took my lunch tray and bolted, thinking maybe the school's courtyard would be a good place to settle, knowing that not many people would be there during lunch hours.

I took my spot beneath the enormous tree that dispersed a huge shade above me, placing my tray onto the ground as I leaned against the tree trunk, breathing in the afternoon air while I closed my eyes and tried to relax my mind from the never-ending stress.

I remember how lunch wouldn't be this hard to get by in the past, sometimes you just meet up with your friends and try not to avoid anyone as if you're hiding a felony.

At the same time, I didn't have to worry about disguised feelings being transparent, due to the fact I was never seen as an envious person.

I don't even know if it was envy, I didn't have the right to blow the chances of that girl getting in touch with Evan because, for all I know, her minutes-long conversation with him probably gave him more reasons to be engaged to her than to me.

Not that I give a damn, or maybe I do. I don't fucking know, okay?

I honestly have no idea what to feel at this point.

"Hey,"

I looked up to see the most unexpected person I could be talking to standing right in front of me "Elijah?" I asked, puzzled, "What are you doing here?"

"I just finished having lunch and noticed how you didn't join Evan, that, and he was in a pretty bad mood so I assumed something went wrong?"

Who would've thought that the quietest of the bunch would be the most attentive one out of all of them? I only knew Elijah as the guy who lent his black pickup truck for me and Evan's friends to eat at and as Ashley's brother, whom I actually have gotten very close to recently.

But I can't understand why Elijah would approach me, he barely even talked to me when Evan introduced me to his friends, he was the most unnoticeable out of all of them.

But I responded to his concern with as much politeness as I could muster "Kind of, yeah, that's why I decided to just hang out here. To blow off some steam."

He nodded, shifting awkwardly on his feet as he bit his lip "I know it's not my place to intervene but I just... Ashley told me half of what's been happening lately because she has grown increasingly fond of you and I couldn't help but sympathize."

"How about Evan?"

"Knowing him, he usually tends to bring it upon himself," he said, sitting down beside me "Like no offense, we love him, but I understand where you're coming from when you seem awfully agitated with him."

I laughed softly "Tell me about it, are you two close?"

"Not as much," he answered "Originally Ashley is close to Zach and she kinda introduced me to him, however, Colin and I hit it off much better. I think the only reason why Ashley had me tag along with them is that I barely have any friends."

"You're not the only one though," I told him faintly.

He smiled at me and said, "Yeah, I heard about what happened. During the time I got introduced to the group, it was when I was trying out for the basketball team due to Evan's recommendation. I'd see Levi all the time and notice you along the way. It's sad how he just... dropped you. You two had a very simple relationship, but it was very endearing nonetheless."

I couldn't help but feel a wave of sadness wash over me, feeling nostalgic as I looked down on my lap "Yeah, up until now I'm still trying to figure out how it was so easy for him to leave everything behind. For the record, I wasn't completely innocent myself."

Elijah looked lost in thought for a moment, glancing at me as he let out a soft chuckle. "For what it's worth, you deserve to have someone willing to make efforts for you, time and time again, instead of someone who wouldn't hesitate to leave you and never look back."

I flickered my eyes back up to meet his own, giving him an appreciative smile "Thank you."

He maintained eye contact with me, for some reason nervously clearing his throat "So um, I thought maybe if you're not doing anything later maybe we could-"

"-We, as in you two, aren't gonna be doing anything," a voice interrupted as I felt myself freeze. "Maggie and I have some unfinished business to attend to if you don't mind."

I looked up to the sight of Evan standing right behind us, unnecessarily close as he only pointed his stare directly towards Elijah.

Elijah was in shock before recollecting himself, nodding his head frantically before he stood up "S-sorry, I wasn't aware that you two needed to talk."

Evan didn't respond, but the way he was looking at Elijah was almost as if he committed a sin and that leaving as soon as possible was the best way to redeem himself.

Which he did, he practically dashed out of the courtyard, leaving me shocked and confused about what just happened "You scold me about flirting with other women..." Evan declared suddenly "When you're out here making googly eyes at my friend out in plain sight."

My eyes widened in utter shock at his accusation, making me instantly stand up as I faced him "Excuse me? I was just talking to Elijah! What's the matter with you?"

"Just talking? That didn't seem like it to me."

I stared at him in disbelief before shaking my head "I honestly can't believe this, is this your way of making me taste my own medicine? Well, it's certainly not working because I didn't do anything wrong! It's either you're playing some twisted joke on me or you're the one who's actually jealous this time." I couldn't help but laugh sarcastically at the idea.

Evan froze, blinking profusely at my assumption, but thinking nothing less of it, I just scoff whilst shaking my head "You preach about me holding you down when you've been the one who's been doing the same damn thing since the start. Now, this? You can't have it both ways, Evan."

I take a step forward and narrow my gaze "You can't go out of your way and act as if you know better of my problems to the point that you would start handling them for me, and suddenly turn on me and go behind my back flirting with other women just for the heck of it. That's not how it works, and I'm not gonna stand here and let you treat me unfairly."

"I didn't drop my two-year relationship for you to think that I would use you as a rebound or some hidden agenda to keep myself busy." I added, "I will never treat you like that and it's only fair that you do the same because you don't fucking do that, Evan."

"Why is that?" he asked in a mere whisper "The way you're sounding now, being so harsh about the contract sounds more as if there's more to your reasons than just being loyal to what was established professionally."

I looked at him in a daze as he stared down at me "Why do you sound like someone who really doesn't wanna see me flirting with other women because it's more unfair to you and your feelings, than it is to the contract and what we agreed on?"

I gulped, shaking my head, trying to vanquish whatever presumptuous thoughts he's created about this situation because it's already enough one of us is stressing out over it.

"If you so badly want to regain your freedom that you would start making false theories about the way I feel, then just do as you please." I said, "Because I simply don't have the time for this."

With that, I walked past him, feeling about as beaten down as I was a while ago, as angry as I've ever been, but most importantly as conflicted about my feelings more than ever.

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