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Chapter Twenty-Eight: Maggie
I was so distraught with everything that's happened that I didn't even give a damn that this is literally the first time Beth and Emily have started talking to me ever since they ditched me at the parking lot when Levi and I broke up.
Not talk specifically, but basically acknowledged me as a human being after so long of not doing so. But due to how I was so caught up trying to make sure Evan was still alive, I scarcely paid them any mind.
Going back and forth all over the place as I informed the school staff who had done this to him, which later on I found out were a group of students known as The Greasers, a particular clique who I only ever heard about from Levi.
But it seems as though Beth was quite familiar with them considering she was quick to confirm who they were, and all I had to do was mention that one of them was Mandy's brother.
The following events leading up to that were a blur, with Principal Miller calling Tiffany and Mason to inform them about what happened in a complete frenzy.
He also called the ambulance, and to say it was utter chaos in the parking lot would be an understatement. Students were huddling up trying to see what the commotion was all about, some of them were shocked, displeased, or just overall thrilled that another socialite scandal was unfolding before their eyes.
Despite wanting to set them all on fire for their lack of empathy, I basically just shut the whole world out as I only prioritized Evan and nothing else.
With everything else In the background fading into a series of black and white, I could only focus on him even as they strolled him at the back of the ambulance and strapped him up, readying him to the hospital as I held his hand the entire time, hoping he'll be okay.
"We'll see you there," Beth noted with a nod before they shut the doors of the vehicle and drove off, making me divert my gaze to Evan's limp body as he tried his best to stay awake.
"Hang in there, okay?" I said, clutching his hand with both of my own, doing my best not to get emotional as I watched the paramedic aid his bruises, cuts, and wounds "It'll be fine."
He cracked his eyes open just for the slightest bit to meet my eye, obviously struggling "M-Maggie." he stammered.
"I'm here." I told him, feeling tears well up to my eyes as I quickly wiped them away "I'm here, it's okay. I'm not going anywhere, you'll be alright, okay?"
He nodded his head in a weak attempt to reciprocate my efforts to comfort him because at this point, I felt just as beaten up and inferior having to look at him suffer like this alone.
I've dealt with situations before seeing my loved ones go through difficult times where they just looked utterly weak and fragile, but not like this. Having to see someone I care about being physically harmed was something I've always feared, but I just never thought it'd be him.
I knew he'd gone through dilemmas like this before, I knew he wasn't a stranger when it came to making enemies who wanted him lying limp on the ground fighting for his breath, I just never thought it'd look this bad.
Or maybe I was just too caught up in my head assuming his world was as easy to criticize for how it looked, going on about how I'll never be able to understand because I was better than him.
Which I have done many times before, not really empathizing with the situation at hand thinking I knew better when I didn't. But as soon as I realized my conviction was wrong, it hurt just as much for me seeing what the aftermath had done to him because I never wanna have to fear for someone's well-being like this ever again.
"T-Thank you," he added in a worn-out voice as my eyes widened "F-For being here."
I feel myself getting choked up as I clutched his hand tighter and brought it close to my face "Of course, you idiot." I said which made him chuckle, grazing my cheek with his thumb as we continued looking at each other throughout the drive to the hospital.
With the sirens blaring, and the paramedics shouting to make sure he was in stable condition, he really made it seem like he was as he stared at me with this look in his eyes.
The kind of look that's basically telling me it's all going to be okay.
* * *
It wasn't only after a few hours later that I stood outside of his room in the hospital while the doctors nursed his injuries is when the reality of it all started kicking in.
I don't think I've ever looked as much of a mess in my entire life as I do now, my hair is in complete disarray and I'm pretty sure my uniform isn't any different.
I lazily rub my face with both of my hands as I slide my body down onto the cold floor, letting out a heavy breath as I looked up at the white, tiled ceilings of the building, appearing every bit as clinical and dull while the back of my head thumped against the hard wall.
These past few hours have been the most hectic and I don't even know where to start, but I guess I should start with the fact that Beth, Emily, and I are basically reunited?
It was an unexpected moment of reconciliation for sure, absolutely unpredictable, and to think they'd be the ones out of all people to come to our rescue?
I mean, it would just be inhumane if they hadn't all because of our undecided feud, but seeing them again after almost a month of not speaking to me, caused a wave of reminiscence to wash over me in an instant.
Because I did miss them, I missed them so much, however, I'm not sure if it's acceptable to let them know that and to welcome them back into my life after what they did.
Just abandoning me in a time where I needed them the most, and I don't think anyone is truly brave enough to do the same thing and just cut those people out of their lives.
Or maybe I'm just not brave enough, maybe despite everything I went through, at the end of the day I still need them and I still want them back in my life no matter how much their deception hit me where it truly hurts the most.
Then again, that doesn't mean it's enough of a reason for me to forgive them.
I thought back to them helping us out at the parking lot and Beth telling me we'll meet up here in the hospital, and not gonna lie, I find myself occasionally looking at the double-doors of the hospital building, dreading but at the same time anticipating their arrival.
And as soon as I hear the frantic screeching of leather shoes squeaking against the floors of the lobby and the familiar voices of two girls I never thought I would live to hear again, did I slowly turn my head to be greeted with the concerned faces of Beth and Emily, just looking at me as I remained curled into a ball from where I was positioned beside Evan's room.
In a strange way, I started to fantasize that the door to Evan's hospital room is Evan himself, hovering behind me as he'd always do and nudging me forward and telling me all the right words I wanna hear to soothe me.
"Hey," Beth said faintly, as she shifted on her feet.
"Hey," I responded, my voice low and raspy.
The tension of the situation felt so stiff and awkward that it was almost painful, with neither one of us not knowing what to say at first, as we were too wary of what will happen next.
It just felt so unbearable coming to terms with all of this, the fact that one day you can trust a bunch of people with your life, being certain that there's no way they would be able to break your trust regardless of what the situation may be. How the possibility seemed ridiculous.
Then the next thing you know, it just isn't like that anymore.
There's doubt and suddenly the trust isn't there anymore, and these people you claimed to have loved so much just feel like strangers now.
It's a funny thing though, isn't it? How the people you thought would understand you the most would leave you the fastest all because they couldn't find it in themselves to be strong enough to stay.
With that thought in mind, I couldn't help the sudden prickling sensation of my tears welling up at the corners of my eyes, causing me to look away as I clenched my jaw, already knowing what's about to happen next. Fuck.
"Maggs?" and before I knew it, I felt both her and Emily knelt to sit beside me on the cold floor as she held me on the side of my shoulder "Is everything okay?"
That only made the ache twisting inside my chest sting much harder as I felt myself get choked up, feeling them exchange glances before they engulfed me in their arms as I sat there, trembling in their hold while their arms wrapped around my body.
The familiar feeling of friends calming down the exploding chaos inside me.
The feeling of friends just being there for you in general.
"It'll be alright, we're here now."
* * *
I'm such an emotional trainwreck.
What made me cry like that? In front of them? The day hasn't even ended yet and I already showed them how much their absence took a toll on me.
Which yes, in full-closure, it did. I mean, of course, it did, they are my best friends and they both mean so much to me regardless of what they did, but I shouldn't ignore the fact that them momentarily leaving my life was painful.
It was deceiving and it gave me tons of reasons to be emotional about it but at the same time resent them for it as well, because they are my friends, and friends don't do that.
That's why as we all sit here in the lobby, with both Emily and Beth on each of my sides, I let the silence engulf us as I didn't dare say another word after my breakdown.
Humiliating myself once is enough.
"Hey, are you gonna tell us what's wrong?" Beth asked in a mere whisper as they examined me with a curious gaze "You've been silent for almost an hour now."
I shut my eyes, trying my best to stay calm, but something about that question just infuriated me, as if what's making this whole situation awkward is unknown to them.
As if they aren't aware as to why showing up in my life again is hard for me to fathom and why I can't seem to adjust to it and act like everything is okay when it isn't.
"I don't know, is it really a mystery why the two of you popping out of nowhere after so long is making me uncomfortable?" I retorted so sharply that even my own tone caught me off guard as much as it did with the both of them.
I tried to stay calm but honestly, at this point, I feel like there's no point in holding back. I've held myself back for so long by wanting to be careful about other people's feelings to the point that they just started disregarding mine in general.
I'm tired of putting other people's well-being above my own, to let them walk all over me and tell them that it's fine even though it's anything but.
That once I start acting out on my feelings their first question has to be "Why are you like this?"
As if me acting out on how I feel is invalid.
"Maggie-"
"No listen, I appreciate that you guys went out of your way to help us back at the parking lot, but it shouldn't have to be Evan almost dying on my lap as I cry out for help for you guys to start acting like my friends again." I snapped as they looked at me with wide, incredulous eyes.
"It shouldn't have to take a crisis happening for you guys to acknowledge me as your friend again because guess what? My life has been a total shit-storm ever since you guys chose Levi over me, so don't go questioning why Evan being beaten up and you guys showing up out of nowhere is unsettling to me."
"Because this is hard for me, okay?" I admitted, my voice breaking "I mean I get it, you guys are just trying to help but I just... I needed to let that out. You can't act so casual and wonder why it's making me feel uncomfortable because I can't ignore the obvious tension between all of us."
They were speechless, to say the least, as they tried their best to process everything that I just said, but right before they could even respond to my outburst, an eruption of voices calling out to me interrupted them, as I looked up to see both Tiffany and Mason rushing towards us.
Making me stand up as I faced them, but not once feeling both Beth and Emily's eyes falter away from me "Maggie, sweetheart." Tiffany said as she hugged me "Are you okay?"
I don't know what it was, but there's this certain warmth blossoming inside of me with the way Tiffany's arms were wrapped around my body as I stared at Mason's soft, worried expression "I am, it's Evan who isn't okay but they won't let me in-"
"Don't worry, as soon as they allow us to see him we'll let you know about his condition. For now, your mother's outside and she's here to pick you up. Go get some rest, we'll take care of him." Tiffany reassured me as she gave me a comforting smile.
I was doubtful, but knowing that it usually takes hours before the hospital would allow family members, let alone visitors, to go ahead and see their patients, I forced myself to nod in agreement.
With that, I gave both Beth and Emily one last glance as they stared right back at me.
"I'll see you guys whenever."
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