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Chapter Twenty-Seven: Maggie

I fumbled with the buttons of my phone, contemplating whether or not I should reply to Evan as I stared at the string of messages he left.

I know I'm being downright unfair right now avoiding him like the plague but if I still can't find it in me to compose a response to a simple "How's your day been? Can we talk?" I don't think I'm genuinely prepared to have a full-blown discussion about the kiss we shared.

I know it's just as easy to reply with an "I'm really not in the mood right now, I'll talk if I decide that I want to." Then again, communication has never been my forte.

That, and I know there's a more likely chance that he'll try to convince me to talk now rather than later because I know his patience is wearing thin, and it's understandable as to why it is because he never got a reasonable answer out of me as to what happened last week.

Still, I'm not gonna let him persuade me into making decisions I'm still not content with. We will talk, and he knows I'm not intending to ignore him forever considering it's basically impossible because wherever we go, we will inevitably bump into each other.

The tension is there, it's just as unavoidable as the lingering temptation of wanting this whole thing to be over and done with. For me to know what I want already, but it's not that easy especially when the situation is in such a pivotal condition.

But now and then, I still can't help but wonder how he's doing despite everything that's been going on with us lately. How this whole situation might've affected him much greater than expected because it does show whenever I see a glimpse of him from afar.

He always looked so deep in thought, so distracted and it only seemed to be stopped whenever we locked eyes with one another, and just then the recognition in his gaze would come back, and it's the kind that has never been there before.

Or maybe it has always been there, and I was just too caught up in my own little world to even notice how he must've felt this entire time.

I do tend to do that to him a lot, ignore his feelings and disregard them as long as it benefits me, and though I've forced myself to believe it's an act of caring for oneself, which it is at times, it does coerce me into being completely selfish altogether.

This made me reflect on all the times people did the same thing to me, just being subjective to the situation at hand and disregarding what I must've felt as long as it accommodates them.

My life has turned into a downward spiral because the need for communication lacked with the other person just as much as it did with me. Even when the relationship feels so strong and so pure, in the end, if there's really nothing to support it, it just falls flat and crashes.

And I don't want that to happen anymore, even towards Evan, who's basically just a guy I have so many conflicted feelings towards and whose role in my life I'm not really sure of yet.

Because one moment, we hate each other, and then the next we find ways to give the other person a chance to prove themselves wrong, which only causes whatever bond we have going on to become much stronger and special, making it harder for either one of us to let go.

Or when we tend to ignore each other even when we know deep down it's not what we want, and although I'm afraid to confront the outcome that would determine where we stand as people, I'm just as compelled to find out.

It's ridiculously convoluted, and maybe that's why it's always hard for the other person to know what they want because the problem always seems to transition so strangely between us.

That's why when my eyes skimmed over his message that read "Even though it's unlikely if you wanna talk now, I'm right over here by the parking lot." I find myself getting lured into said location, not because the logical part of me is now finally sure of what she wants, but because my emotions have been bottled up for too long and they need to be let out.

They need to cave into what they want as well.

But what I didn't expect once stepping foot into the parking lot was a group of boys huddled together right in front of Evan, looking as if they were more than ready to pounce on him.

At this point, this just seemed like more of an everyday scene for him, with him being involved in a fight of some sort, and although I would've seen this as nothing but a disturbance back then, the sudden rush of worry that went over me was just as hard not to acknowledge.

I found myself hiding in between the sidelines, feeling the developing dread kneading within me deeper and deeper, that I could almost feel it in my stomach all the way to my throat.

In the past, I would've just given Evan no less than a minute of my time and ignored whatever it is that is yet to unravel in front of me.

But what's in the past stays in the past. For now, here in the present, I feel nothing but immense anxiety, debating whether or not I should step in.

Evan's back was turned from me, but judging from his stance, I could see that he was rather alert, clearly just waiting for what's about to happen next.

Their voices were quite stunted from where I stood, but it was decipherable nonetheless. Low, disoriented but sharp and venomous in tone.

"Robert, Mitch, Adrian, Charles, Ken." Evan said, addressing each one of them in a rather strained tone "Long time no see."

I tilted my head to get a better angle of their faces, and from what I can see they do look rather familiar. With well-built physiques, tall, stoic and intimidating, if I didn't know any better they look like a bunch of people I could've mistaken as Evan's friends. But judging from the noticeable tension lingering in the air, they seemed to be anything but.

"Long time no see, indeed." one of them, a guy with curly, brown hair started "You've been a lot more silent these days, usually we hear from you three times a week doing something crazy. Probably treating some girl like shit or beating some poor guy up."

It's kind of mind-blogging to think about it now, how those words would seem about as accurate as any other universal fact if uttered back then. If anything, if I were to have witnessed all of this before, during the times Evan was still identified as nothing but a snobby socialite to me, I would have agreed with the opposing side. Laughed at the remark even.

But looking at the boy I've grown to know these past few months, it's kinda hard to put him in that box now, despite how that was the circumstance I was given when I met him.

Nothing but a guy who toyed with his relationships and acted like an asshole to others if being completely horrid to other people he knew wasn't enough.

"I don't think it's fair to base past actions on who I am as a person, that shit shouldn't define me," Evan replied gruffly, obviously taking offense to what was said about him.

"It should when they're royally fucked up. You can try to change all you want, but you can't deny the things that you've done, there are still those parts of you, Evan."

I can beg to disagree.

But can I? Even though Evan and I have gotten to know each other in such a fleeting amount of time, I feel like I've already gotten to know who he is as a person. As a matter of fact, I was there to unravel what he was capable of becoming.

"At least I'm not a druggie who's one suspension away from getting expelled." Evan scorned "I heard daddy wasn't able to save you out of that one, with the amount of coke you've been hoarding."

Or so I spoke too soon.

Sometimes I forget Evan has had people hate him for reasons similar to the one I've had when I vowed to not get myself attached to people like him. People like him give his enemies and strangers a valid reason to despise his guts.

Maybe this is why it's been hard for me to figure out what I feel about him because, at the back of my mind, there's still this part of me that is aware that it's not just my feelings I'm having a hard time trying to figure out, but also Evan as a person.

Because somehow, even though I feel like I know him, I am still trying to figure out which version of him is the one that tempted me to act out on my feelings, trying to figure out if that version of him was actually ever real.

"At least I'm not some asshat who hits their ex-girlfriend."

I shut my eyes, not wanting to listen further to this discussion because it was a painful thing to have to remind myself. What Evan used to be.

Because I must admit, even though his recent growth during the time we've spent together was no less than genuine, it still guilts me whenever I think back to the person he was then and how it's difficult to overcome his past, to the point that even I feel ashamed for him.

Because even though he's changed, it still bothers me knowing that by accepting someone into your life, you have to tolerate their past mistakes as well.

To come to terms with who they were before you got to know them, and not that I'm saying you have to validate their mistakes, but instead just live with it. Which not gonna lie, I have a hard time doing it because I don't think I'll ever be able to.

What matters now, however, is just how he chooses to redeem himself.

"It's fucked up, I know." Evan proclaimed, clearly ashamed of himself "Trust me, there's not a day where I don't regret what I had done to Mandy."

"Oh, but do you? Do you really regret it?" the boy hissed "Do you really regret making my sister feel like shit when all she ever did was love you, and you made it seem as if it was her fault?"

Everything around me stilled as I processed the words that were just said, mentally absorbing all of this as I took in the boy in front of Evan right now, which I now know is Mandy's brother.

"I do, Robert. I really do. That's why if you just give me the chance to apologize to her-"

"You're not going anywhere near my fucking sister if it's the last thing I know." Mandy's brother hissed, taking a step forward "I swear if you even utter a word to her, I will end you."

Evan didn't dare flinch a muscle as he continued "I know, but I just wanted to let her know how much I regret it. After being told by someone how much my actions fucked her up, I just never stopped feeling like shit about it."

Hearing all of this said by Evan, I know he's taking his words by heart, that he means all of it, not daring to fight or be defensive of his wrong-doings, and even though it's just a quarter of what needs to be done, it's a step at least.

Mandy's brother was silent for a moment before he spoke once again "By someone you mean that Maggie girl?"

I blinked back in shock, quite confused as to how a group of their kind would know of my existence, and seeing as how Evan staggered back, even he was too.

"How do you..."

"I gotta say, I wouldn't be surprised if that chick finally set you straight. I heard she dated Levi for quite some time not until they broke up because of you." he remarked with a wicked curl of his lips "You say you've changed yet you're still out here getting involved in other people's business." What the hell do they mean by that?

"That's not-" Evan bellowed "-the story, I didn't steal her from anybody and they broke up because he assumed the worst of her. We're not dating and she's a great girl."

I felt my chest flutter as he said that, although as I diverted my attention back to Mandy's brother, he looked to be anything but pleased "Oh, I bet she is, probably much better than my sister considering you actually care about her? Despite her not being your girlfriend?"

I don't know whether it was a feeling of discomfort or defensiveness that struck me due to his comment, either way, they were not entirely pleasant.

"That's not-"

"Oh, don't try to sugarcoat it. I mean, from the looks of it, the chick doesn't look half that bad."

At this point, I wasn't even reconsidering what I felt, because right now I was certain I was feeling immensely repulsed as they all laughed at his snide remark.

"She's quite the opposite really. Nice eyes, nice body..." he drawled in an unrefined tone, obviously seeking some sort of offense of what he's about to say "Great ass."

I was appalled by his sorry excuse of a compliment and it seems as though Evan was too as his calm demeanor vanished due to the crude statement "Can you not?" he exclaimed.

"Why not? I'm just complimenting the girl. She does have a great ass, am I right, fellas?" Mandy's brother continued as I found myself sneering in disgust despite already knowing what he's trying to do "God, just picturing it from those days where I would catch her in her PE clothes. I gotta say, you got quite the catch, Evan. I'll tell you that."

Don't give in to it, Evan. You know what he's doing.

But Evan wasn't one to resist his emotions as my eyes darted to him clenching and unclenching his fists, clearly one demeaning compliment away from morphing into the Evan every person currently standing in this parking lot knows.

The Evan who isn't afraid to hold himself back when he knows enough is enough.

Don't do it, you idiot!

"... Bet it feels real tight too, huh?"

What the fuck?!

I wasn't even able to react properly before Evan decided to do it for me, hurling himself forward as he threw a punch at Mandy's brother, sending him flying towards the ground as I let out a shriek.

Despite the state of shock I was in, however, I forced my body to move on its own two feet and to run to Evan's defense, feeling my body buzz in pent up adrenaline, heart thumping inside my chest as the aftermath of Evan's actions unraveled to the predicted consequences it gained.

With them already gaining the upper hand as it was five against one, they circled him as two of the boys held Evan back whilst Mandy's brother rose to his feet and wiped the blood dripping off his lips, not wasting any more time as he punched Evan right back.

"No!" I shouted as they all turned to me.

But I wasn't even able to get anywhere near Evan as one of them pulled me back, making me violently kick my feet up in the air as I screamed at the top of my lungs "Stop! Let him go!"

But they didn't pay me any mind as they all turned towards Evan and resumed back to swinging amplitude of kicks and punches his way, with the two guys tightening their grip onto his limbs whilst drawing him back just as Mandy's brother swung his fist from down Evan's chin and then upwards, that you could hear the excruciating sound of bones cracking as Evan's head went flying up.

Making me cry out loud to the point I felt literal tears streaming down my face as my throat ached with every scream that came out of my mouth.

With the same mantra being yelled over and over again as they did the same violent tactics to him until he fell limp onto the ground, not even bothering to fight back.

"Stop!"

A kick to his gut.

"Please!"

One to his jaw as his body lurched forward, making him spit out spurts of blood.

"You're hurting him! Please! Just stop!"

That only caused them to turn him around so he laid flat on his back, making me see the patches of bruises that were forming underneath his eye and open wounds that went all the way across his cheekbones. No, no, no.

Mandy's brother looked around as his eyes landed on something that caused him to nudge one of his apprentices "Get that pipe for me." he ordered sharply.

At this point, I could hardly find the ability to breathe as I didn't falter with my screams and outcries, but when that flash of silver metal appeared in my point of view as they swung it towards Evan's direction, did they only get louder as I aggressively tried to free myself.

"This is what you get for hurting my sister, you sick son-of-a-bitch." Mandy's brother drawled, lifting the pipe metal as my eyes widened in horror, screaming, hoping that anybody, just anybody would come out and save us. Save him.

But as he was about to swing that pipe, and just as I was about to let out the loudest scream I could muster, we heard a distant voice shouting from the distance.

"Robert?!" we turned to see Mandy jogging in our direction in hurried sprints, eyes wide as she took in the scene before her "What the fuck are you doing?! Stop it!"

"Stay out of this, Mandy," he warned as her eyebrows furrowed at the sight of Evan lying on the ground, complete terror sweeping over her face as she cupped her mouth with her hand.

It wasn't until she turned her head and faced me was when everything dawned on her as she raced towards her brother and pushed him back "Are you out of your fucking mind?!" she exclaimed as she wretched the pipe away from him, breathing heavily.

"He hurt you, Mandy!" Robert yelled back as I looked back at Evan, seeing his eyes flutter shut as he coughed out in pain and winced with all the hurt that he's endured, making me let out a choked sob as I tried to yank myself free to go ahead and rush to his side.

To which Mandy noticed as she stared at me with horrified eyes "What the hell are you all doing? Let go of her! Now!"

The guy who was pulling me back hesitated, loosening his hold on me, and despite how I was already drained with the amount of resisting that I've done, I still manage to jerk myself away from him due to his moment's worth of reluctance as I spring towards Evan's side, pulling him near me as I cried harder whilst I checked to see the damage that they've inflicted.

"... He hurt you, Mandy. This is what he deserves. He deserves to be given consequences for what he did." Robert claimed as they all looked down at us, some of them masking their faces with a blank expression, but it was obvious that Mandy wasn't having any of it as she looked down at me with so much pity in her eyes.

"Not like this," she told him in a faint voice "He might've deserved to be given consequences for what he had done, but this isn't what I wanted."

"You don't know what you want only because she's here." Robert hissed, pointing towards me as I glared back at him with all the hate I could manage to give in just one stare.

"F-fuck you." I hissed as he could only shake his head disapprovingly in response, taking a step forward as he bent down to my level and harshly grabbed my face in his hand, mortifying his sister.

"Robert!"

But he ignored her as he looked deeply into my eyes, so many untold words being said with just the way he was staring "Trust me, you don't mean that. Because just like my sister, you don't know what you want either," he concluded, "Girls like you never know what you want."

With that, he let go of my face before he took hold of his sister's arm and yanked her forward, sparing us one last glance before they turned their backs on us and walked away.

As they leave the scene, I hear the distant clank of metal being dropped down onto the ground, and my eyes immediately catch sight of the pipe that was almost used on Evan now rolling onto the deserted parking lot.

Causing me to hold Evan tighter in my arms as I felt my chest constrict whilst I forced myself to speak "I-it'll be okay," I whispered despite feeling my throat sting as I did "I-I'm here."

While I was at war with myself wondering if I should leave him here all alone while I go search for help, the faraway sound of familiar voices shouting snapped me out of my trance.

As I weakly lifted my head to catch two figures running over towards us as the sight of Beth and Emily came into view.

They examined us with much understandable fright and alarm as Beth's eyes darted from Evan's limp body to my shaking form "Go call for help." she ordered as Emily found herself slowly taking a step back to do what she's told "Now!"

Despite the chaos currently unfolding before us, had I not once loosened my hold on Evan as I felt the faint rumbling of his chest vibrate with the words he was trying to say to me.

"M-Maggie." he choked out as I felt my eyes well up as I hugged him harder.

"It's okay," I reassured him softly as I felt Beth rush to my side "You'll be fine. We'll be fine..."

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