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Chapter Thirty-Six: Maggie

Luckily I was able to slip out of Jess's house without being caught.

I texted Evan telling him I had gotten sick that day during the pool party and that I couldn't bear staying another second, and that I apologize for going back home without him.

I also asked him if we could perhaps return to the whole Beth situation another time and for him not to come and visit me, considering I just wanted to be left alone with my so-called stomach flu for a while until I get better.

He agreed and perfectly understood my dilemma, saying how I should text him whenever I feel better again to go out, and I couldn't help but feel guilty because the truth is, I was more than ready to go out at any time. Regardless of whether or not I will tell him or not.

Because I wasn't sick and I most certainly did not have the goddamn stomach flu, and clearly I was just using that as a pathetic excuse to do what I'm about to do today.

Arriving at school was just simply unbearable, because for starters:

I told Evan I wasn't going to show up when in reality, I did.

I know this is wrong. It would be much easier if I had just waited for him to tell me the truth instead of snooping around trying to find my own, but again, I was impatient.

Impatient and ridiculously paranoid to the point that I couldn't help but think his reassurance that nothing happened between him and Beth was just off because clearly, something did happen between them and he was just sugarcoating it.

Plus me eavesdropping on Jasper, Colin, and Zach's conversation proved that because I was able to gather the information I never would've thought I needed to accumulate.

More specifically, a person I never thought I needed to resort to.

It was nerve-wracking, to say the least, trying my best to remain discreet in school while I was out doing a man-hunt for a certain Sean Harris.

Fortunately enough, however, he didn't really blend in with the rest of the students because he stood out quite prominently.

His tall frame and pleasant aura didn't fail to catch the eyes of many, and as I spotted him from the middle of the hallways surrounded by other students, I couldn't help but wonder how a guy like him could have a vendetta towards... Evan.

Then it all came back to me.

"He was the friend of mine Mandy had cheated on me with,"

"... I stole a girl he was planning to ask out, a girl he really liked, but because of how I always wanted things my way, and how I always felt the need to take what isn't mine, and how I was so jealous that Sean could easily be in a serious relationship with someone and for our friends to actually take him seriously, sparked something inside me that was so ugly."

"Because back then he always felt the need to spite me because I wasn't able to devote myself to a relationship, to a girl specifically, the way he can. He was this charming and well-received guy that people swooned over because he actually had a disposition worth taking seriously."

No, that can't be possible.

Evan couldn't possibly do something like that, especially towards Beth.

I know Beth may have her moments, and most of the time she does find herself being mixed in with the wrong crowd, but their paths couldn't have crossed due to such unfortunate circumstances, it's just absurd.

But hypothetically speaking, if it were to turn out true, I don't know if I'll ever be able to look at Evan the same way again, because the first time he told me this, we ended up fighting because I wound taking Sean's side instead of his, and how it was clear he tried to victimize himself when really, the only person worth victimizing in his story was Sean and quite possibly, Beth.

That's why as much as I feel guilty that I'm doing all of this scheming behind his back, I need to get proper information and not just feed off on his side of the story when we both know he was the oppressor, not Sean nor even Beth.

Then again, it's best to find out first before I delve into this.

I inhaled a shaky breath and tugged on the hood of my jacket that I wore for today as I pushed through the mob of students, occasionally bumping into some of them, hoping I wouldn't come across the ones I'm doing my best to avoid just this once.

Sure enough, however, it didn't take long before I was standing inches away from Sean himself, his back turned to me as I hesitated on what I'm about to do next.

Not knowing if I should tap him on the shoulder, talk to him, or heck, even just letting my presence be known because this felt so wrong on so many levels.

But I need to do this. It's too late to back down now.

Or is it really?

Do you honestly wanna spend your days constantly doubting everyone around you?

Going behind people's backs because you can't find it in yourself to trust anyone?

Because if you don't stop now, chances are Evan's really gonna end up just like him.

Destructive, vindictive, and spiteful.

I shook my head. No. I've seen others let the people that they claim love take advantage of their trust and kindness to be swayed by sentimentality now.

It's either you're several steps ahead, or you end up being left behind.

And I can't risk doing that to myself.

With that, I nervously lifted my hand up and gently tapped him on his shoulder, causing him to swivel around and to look down at me, and just like that, I was faced with Evan's so-called nemesis.

Not gonna lie, if I was introduced to Sean in a much different circumstance I probably wouldn't have thought much less of him because, in retrospect, he does look harmless.

He looks about as innocent and approachable as people made him out to be, and he exhibits quite a warm yet reserved demeanor unlike most students here in our school.

Come to think of it now, I probably would've never figured out why he and Evan ended up becoming friends in the first place.

Basing it off from first impressions alone, Sean is about as dignified and immaculate in terms of appearance, unlike Evan who possesses a very brooding and domineering aura.

I just can't picture it ever working out even if Evan hadn't told me it never actually did.

But setting aside the illusions of a friendly face, I can imagine him being a judgmental character as Evan stated in the past, and just by the way he was looking at me now, the registration of my presence didn't fail to turn his once lively attitude into a much more impassive one.

Not to express dislike, but rather indifference.

Because he probably does know me and my background and who I am, not only as an individual but as a student here in Henderson High as well. In a way, we're not that different from each other, we're actually quite similar.

Then again, that's probably where the wariness is coming from, because he most certainly is aware I am associated with Evan, so it's better to play safe than to be sorry.

Which I would know. I've been there before.

"Maggie." he greeted, his voice laced with evident skepticism

"Sean," I addressed formally as well "I hope I'm not bothering you."

"Not at all," he said, simple yet firm. "Though, I am quite surprised with your sudden approach, do you need anything?"

Oh, more than you would know.

I heaved out a breath as I pulled down the hood of my jacket and ran a hand through my hair so I could look at him properly, his expression devoid of any emotion, and is clearly wanting to get straight to the point. But little does he know, so do I.

"Yes, I actually do."

* * *

It was quite difficult convincing him that I wanted to talk in private because anyone with common sense would find a girl randomly approaching them in the hallways looking like a cliche horror film serial killer who's wearing too many dark tones as ridiculously odd.

He agreed nonetheless and we decided to take our matters into a more secluded area of the school, more specifically the students' council office, considering he was the vice president.

The room was vacant, with not a single student in sight and I couldn't help but ogle at how organized and clean the whole office was.

"It looks great in here," I commented, inspecting every nook and cranny as Sean softly smiles in return, pulling the key out of the door as he sets it aside on a desk, the sound of silent brass hitting wood filling up the silence.

"Thank you, the members do their best to make sure the office is always in the best shape," he said, looking around with admiration "They're really hard workers,"

"It seems like it, I've only ever talked to them whenever events are being organized, and I really applaud their work ethic. They're one of the only groups of students here that I actually like."

Sean lets out a faint chuckle "You should've signed up to become a member, then."

"I wanted to. But I couldn't possibly handle it when studies and the journalism club were both on my schedule. I'm already so far behind my projects, it's insane."

"Ah, yes. I forgot about that." he quipped "Not gonna lie, I was actually debating joining that club as well, but student council was more my calling, and I couldn't possibly juggle two clubs at the same time."

"You and me both." I mused and that emitted yet another laugh from him.

He tilted his head as he maintained eye contact with me, quite immersed in our conversation "Why haven't I talked to you before?" he queried.

I pondered over the thought before shrugging "I don't know. I guess it's because I was satisfied with just having such a small group of friends back then that I didn't really feel the need to add more to it."

He nodded "It does seem like that, however from what I've noticed lately, you have gotten involved with a new batch of individuals."

Blinking, I cast my gaze down, not knowing how I should respond to his remark because it obviously came from a place of bitterness, or maybe I'm just overthinking things again.

He noticed my change of behavior and immediately lifted his hand up as to try and clarify "I don't mean that out of spite, it's just you know-"

I nodded, understanding where he's coming from. "Yeah, I know."

He was the one to look down on his feet this time "It's just been hard to talk about them, considering we were friends at one point, but now it's just..."

It was obvious he was having a hard time continuing his speech, and I couldn't help but sympathize "Hey, it's okay." I told him, taking a step forward "I know what it feels like."

Despite the overused appeal of that statement, it was clear he knew I meant what I said, that's why he didn't dare snark back at me. Because I do know that feeling, I know it all too well, but the difference is I got my friends back in the end, or else I thought I did. For now.

"They're great people," he added, sounding quite melancholic "We got along quite well too, it's just that it didn't really work out with..."

"Evan," I finished for him, "I know."

He frowned, but nodded either way "Yeah, with Evan. I know I wasn't exactly innocent of what happened between us, but the fact that they knew he was in the wrong but still chose him over me, did a lot to change what I used to think about them."

"As much as I don't wanna sound insecure and all that, it got me thinking, what was so good about Evan that made them ditch me completely? Like I don't wanna be condescending but between him and me? I am quite dumbfounded that they chose him in the end."

I swallowed, feeling quite guilty that despite knowing that that was an indirect jab towards Evan, is that I couldn't help but think that I never related more to anything than what he just said now "Yeah, I felt the same when my friends left me for my ex-boyfriend." I told him.

"God, yeah, I heard about that." his eyes then darted towards mine as a way to pass along pity "I also heard about how he and Evan got into some sort of altercation?"

"That's kind of how it all started, really."

Sean could only simply scoff at that "I swear, all this time Evan still can't help but stick his nose into everybody else's business and cause a goddamn disaster."

The disdain was about as apparent in his tone as it was a while ago, and I just knew mentioning Evan alone was his trigger switch "The thing is, actually..." I began slowly "Evan is the reason why I'm here right now."

He looked up at me with a scrutinizing gaze and I swore it almost made me squirm, due to how obvious the pleasantries of what our conversation held quickly vanished as soon as my real intentions were finally shown.

"I'm listening," he said, his voice low.

I fiddled with the ends of my jacket's sleeves, feeling the apprehension kick in. A few hours ago I was so certain that by the time I actually got him cornered it would be just as easy to ask him about the whole Beth and Evan situation and to get it over and done with, but now?

"Well recently, my friend Emily and I have noticed that our other friend Beth-" something in his eyes flashed due to the mention of their names, or perhaps, just one of their names "Has been acting quite weird around Evan."

He visibly gulped, and I already knew that as much as I was reluctant to do this, I got him where I wanted him "And when I asked Jasper and the boys about it, they acted quite weird as well, saying how I should ask Evan first and that they'll be sure to clarify some things but..."

He looked at me eagerly and said "Did you? Talk to Evan, that is?"

The outpour of shame that dropped down on me was strong enough for me to want to lie, but after thinking about it, there is honestly no reason why I should be hiding anything from Sean. So I might as well be honest with him.

"No," I answered, "It's just that there have been times where he tends to gloss over the severity of his mistakes as a way to minimize his faults, and as much as I wanna trust him..."

"I know. I get it, I've been there before." he proclaimed.

I nodded, appreciating the way he understood my ordeal without wanting to pressure me to go into detail about it, this was hard enough as it is.

"I just need to know what is it that's going on and... look, I know that you're somehow mixed in all of this," I stated, "I overheard Jasper and the others name drop you and as much as I hate going behind Evan's back about all of this, I need to see both sides of the story first before I go into this predicament with an objective mindset."

"Then again, I'm not quite sure if I'll stick to that, because Beth is my friend and if by some way he had hurt Beth that may have actually been the real reason why she distanced herself away from me after knowing my involvement with him and him just refusing to acknowledge their past and to not tell me..." I shut my eyes, not wanting to get emotional about this.

Sean was staring at me as if he was trying to imagine what it must feel like to be in my shoes right now, and with that, his inhibitions faltered and he sighed deeply, clearly pitying my despondence.

"It happened two years ago," he began "Back when Evan and I were still friends, ever since the beginning, I always knew Evan had his weaknesses despite him trying to make it seem like he didn't have any, the cracks in between the walls he built around himself were just as easy to peek into."

"It was obvious right from the start he lacked parental supervision, as well as manners, and then here's this guy who's constantly compared to him, that's the total opposite of him. The studious, and rather well-received student council vice president, Sean Harris himself."

"Not gonna lie, I fed off on the praise. I really did. I was close-minded back then because I failed to acknowledge how much the constant need for comparison between him and me was clearly affecting him personally. For me, however, I just wanted nothing more but everybody's validation, whether it be from my parents or the students, so I didn't really care about him."

"I was... arrogant, but again I didn't care as long as in the end, I fueled myself on other people's insecurities or their praise. In short, I'm no saint in this story either." he narrated and by this point, my mind was confused about how I was supposed to view this whole story now.

"People kept saying how effortless it must've been for me to charm women and all that because I was apparently boyfriend material and the only way they needed to prove that was by comparing me to someone who couldn't seem to commit to a woman despite the countless relationships he's been in."

"And as you may have already guessed, yet again, another insecurity of his that I fed off on, and he obviously saw that and clearly hated me for it and I couldn't blame him because, heck, even for his standards I was the literal devil at that point. I mean, who does that to someone?"

"It was just so easy for me to put coal into the fire and to disregard his feelings because I couldn't relate. Not until..." for some reason, his voice wavered as he tried his best to continue his speech, but was obviously struggling.

"Not until her. Beth." he smiled sadly at the mention of her name "When I first met her she was just so lively, fun, and spontaneous, everything I'm not and maybe it was the differences that lured me in at first, but I knew right at that exact second I wanted her and only her."

"I'm quite fussy when it comes to romance and unlike Evan, I didn't wanna waste my time dating women just to see who had more potential than the other. I just wanted to connect to a person and end it from there. I was picky but at the same time I wanted it to be easy."

"She made it look easy, made it so easy for me to be... attracted to her. She embodied so much of what I lacked as a person and I knew I needed someone like that in my life. Someone who didn't care what other people thought about her, someone who lived aimlessly."

"I told Evan and the group that, and as much as I despised him for doing what he did, I could understand why he may have used my sudden infatuation as a way to seek vengeance."

"Which he did, because no sooner than a day after I told them I was planning to ask her out, I found him flirting with her and it was obvious she was so smitten by him, and why wouldn't she be? They're so similar, down to the very core of their being, they were the same."

"I just felt so... outraged. That was basically the first time I felt like I didn't win over Evan and in any given circumstances, I probably wouldn't have cared, but he chose my sudden infatuation as his leverage, his advantage to try and spite me."

"It was a war that almost ruined our group. There were disputes, brawling, screaming, and plans to take the other person down but in the end... he won."

"When I tried to warn Beth about him, she could only look at me like I was the most insane person at that time. Saying how I was being too insecure because for once people weren't kissing my ass, and that she couldn't possibly imagine Evan doing such a thing."

"That even if what I said was true was that she couldn't possibly imagine liking me, saying how I was too much of an arrogant asshole who tries too hard to make people like him because I apparently lacked attention in my personal life, that's why I sabotage my friends." his jaw tightened at the memory, shaking his head as he laughed bitterly underneath his breath.

"That I wasn't anywhere near as interesting as Evan. Even if I tried so hard to be perfect all the time, Evan still won by a ton because unlike me, he doesn't have to. He's a natural, like her."

"That was the first time I've related to what Evan must've felt, but I took it the wrong way and cussed her out for it. Saying that if Evan screws her over, the only person she can blame is herself for being gullible, and just like that, all chances I had with her were gone."

"She chose him over me and it wasn't soon after Evan found out when he started leading her on just to rub it in. Flirting with other women despite knowing how she felt about him, telling her promises but at the same time was seen entertaining other women." I closed my eyes, not wanting to hear this any longer. It just seemed surreal, this couldn't have happened.

"It was clear it was hurting her and I couldn't do anything but just to stand back and watch her suffer in silence because I knew what she felt about me then, but not once did she give up on Evan. Not until he entirely ditched her and a week later was revealed to be dating Mandy."

"I hated him so much for that because he treated her like she was some sort of fucking toy just to add insult to injury when in reality, she was a girl who really wanted to be there for the guy she was so sure she cared about and fell in love with. She tried so hard to be there for him."

"She wanted to change him as well, to see him become a better person and I guess that's what pushed him to get it over with, and fast forward a couple of months later, I basically avenged her by sleeping with his girlfriend. Who literally had no knowledge in what was happening, but now she has both Beth and Evan hating her fucking guts and it's all because I just couldn't move on."

The room was painfully silent by the time he was finished, and I released a breath I didn't even know I was holding, but once released, just made me realize this was real.

That all of this, what I just heard, actually happened.

"I've hurt him enough, and he's also hurt me. I have no intention of perpetuating something that's already destroyed our friendship, because what more will I gain from it? Proving that I didn't learn from my mistakes?"

"You can interpret my story in whatever way you want, because maybe, like me, Evan might've changed. He may actually take whatever it is that's going on between you two seriously and doesn't wanna mess it up, but I know what he's capable of, and when I warned you about him the first time, I didn't want to take it back."

"And knowing you, you're just like me. You once had a reputation you thought was gonna remain squeaky clean until it wasn't, and you had friends you thought were always gonna stand by you until they didn't, and you loved someone so much and had no reason to hate them until they gave you a reason. All because one person intervened."

"For my case? It was Evan," he said, "And for you?"

I shut my eyes, feeling the tears trickling down my face as I looked down on my feet "It was Evan."

Sean nodded "And you know what he did to me, so are you a hundred percent sure he's not gonna do the same thing to you?"

... No, no I'm not.

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