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When I was young, I used to dream about my mother constantly. She was not dead but she was suffering from cancer, she was in pain a lot. She was everything that my dad, my sister and I wanted. When she reached the stage where she was ready to die, I started to avoid her. My sister was just 6 months old and had not carried any of my mother’s trait. She was just like me. And I looked like my dad. I looked after her when my dad went to take care of mom. I stayed home and looked after her every needs. She cried everyday for her mother. For milk. For nurturing, For love. I would cry for long hours and smash windows of the nearby church. Angry at God. Angry at her. Angry at my sister. Angry at myself. At my pathetic little family. I had no friend on whose shoulder I could weep on. No aunt or uncle with whom I could go and tell them about my worries and problems. I would sit inside the house holding my little sister. Waiting for dad. Waiting for my mom’s death news. and we could end this misery instantly. I hated her for making us suffer. Making us feel sorry for her. Making Dad half dead in his thirties. Making Cecily cry all day and night.

I never had found my own euphoria. I would get into a fight and that was it. Dad would scold me and ground me. And the next day, the history would repeats itself again. I did not learn from my mistakes ever. I found out that tears were gone from my eyes forever. I cried no more. I just screamed and shouted. If I had to.

And there it was. During my freshman year in high school. I heard a tune. Very soft and melodious. I was never a music lover but this tune made my heart do flips and jumps. And it was from a church. A congregation. Singing the praises of lord in the skies. I did not know what happened I walked inside the church and saw whole lot of older people specially the elder people singing with their heads held high as the choir kept up with the people singing. I sat at the back of the church. Near the door and listened to the tune  attentively.

“ There shall be showers of blessing.....” the tune went on.....

“ This is the promise of love.”

The melodious tune made me somewhat calm and peaceful inside. It was a wonderful feeling I was having after a year. The tune went on like forever and I loved every tune of it. I looked up at the front and saw carvings of angels on the walls. Looking down at us guarding us, protecting us.

A guardian Angel. I heard myself gasp and gulp down the bile that rose in my mouth. I looked at the people around the church and saw one particular family. Two men holding one child each in their arm. The children were asleep but both men were singing the praise of the lord. Holding hands tightly. Giving each other a loving glance once or twice. I stared at them for a while. I wanted to feel weird by looking at them, curse them, give them glare. But I couldn’t. I didn’t want to.

Seeing them felt right. Like they were made for each other. Then again, I asked a question to myself. ‘Does soul mate exist?’ do they? I

It was really an interesting thing. To have a soul mate how would it be. Maybe wonderful. Like mom and dad.

Then I suddenly realized how selfish I was being to my mom. And everybody around me. I was so selfish.

And I broke. I bawled my eyes out and snot flowing down like river from my nose like a kid. Everybody stared at me and murmured in confusion. I cried caring about no body else and sat back to cry more. The guys whom I has been watching had offered me a handkerchief which was a one when I wiped my nose. They smiled and went back to their seat. The preaching had ended and everybody went home. I sat there still crying no one to bother me.

I will miss you, mom. I really will.

I seemed to cry out with tears. It was dark when I left for home. I nearly had forgotten about the milk for Cecily.

After two weeks, mom died. We had a small funeral and she was dead and gone. Dad locked himself up for three days straight. We did not bother him. His behaviour was genuine and we understood his feelings. Cecily never really was attached with mom so she won’t be having memories of her when she grows up unlike me. After two months of mourning the house went back to normal. Then I never forgot to sing the melodious song every night in my room laying on my bed looking at the glow-in-the-dark stars. But one line would always hit my heart strongly.

“ This is the promise of love.....”

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“ You ready?” Damian asked me as I buckled the seatbelt in his new convertible car.

“ Yes, Dumbass.” I said as looked ahead. He smiled as he started the engine and roared the car to life. He was getting on my nerves since morning.

“ Remember, not impressive I go home.” I said as watched the scenery outside.

“ Sir, Yes, Sir.” He mimicked an army officer’s voice. I rolled my eyes.  

The drive was comfortable and music was soothing the environment for me. He driving out of town or something because the scene was changing from buildings to trees and horses.

“ Where are we going?” I asked as I looked out. He chuckled and said, “ Somewhere beautiful.”

“ Really?” I asked narrowing my eyes. He could be kidnapping and killing me in a ditch somewhere.

“ Actually, it’s my grandpa’s fishing spot in the countryside. It nice and cozy. The lake is warm by this time and ready for swimming. Mom thought of selling it but majority refused and viola! A perfect summertime farmhouse.” He said and looked at me.

“ No amusement park, No zoo, No movie. This is new, you know.” I said.

“Were you expecting that?” He asked rather panicking that I wanted all that. I chuckled and said, “ No, I thought it was the only thing guys think about as a dating place,you know.”

He snorted.

“ What??” I snapped.

“ Nothing just happy to know you take it as a date. I think so baby steps can help you a lot.” He said rather to himself than me. I folded my arms and gritted my teeth muttering ‘whatever’

‘Life is a highway’ was going on the radio and was one of my favourite. I smiled as I muttered the lyrics in my mind, being aware that I don’t want to embarrass myself in front of him. We listened to the song silently nodding our heads to the beat. And suddenly, Damian bursted.

“ Life is a highway, I wanna drive it all night long.” He sang really badly. I laughed and sang with him. By the time we reached a gas stop, we were singing every song in the radio. Harmonizing, beat boxing, making fun of each other. From a awkward drive it became a hilarious journey for me. He was beating the steering wheel as he tried to make a woman’s voice while singing ‘Girl On Fire’. I laughed so much that my stomach ached badly. I shoved his shoulder to stop but he wouldn’t. Somewhere he was looking like Jim Carrey.  I laughed so much that Damian had to stop the car to let me pee. After that I slept for half an hour. While Damian quietly drove without a damn traffic.

I was dreaming about Gummy bears attacking me that Damian woke me up.

“ Rise and shine, sleeping beauty. We are here.” He said as he dislodged himself.

“ Where the hell are we?” I asked groggily as I stretched.

“ Grandpa’s fishing spot remember.” He said. I got off the car.

When he told me a fishing spot, I imagined a small house with unused furniture beside a dirty little lake. But kill me if I say it is exactly like that, because it was not!! The whole damn house was a freaking villa. I was standing in front of the giant gate beside Damian as he opened the gate.I slowly made my way inside trying to analyze properly what was happening. This was a freaking mansion and beside it was a giant lake clean as a new born baby. The weather was hot so I had a sudden urge to go for skinny dipping. But first we went inside the mansion and I explored all around. The house had nothing but Libraries and bedrooms. The old man was a freakish bookworm or something. I whistled around as I walked up the stairs and went through a fancy door. It was large and stupid. I don’t know.

There was a big portrait of a beautiful lady and a man who kind of looked like Damian. I stared at it for a while. It was a portrait of beauty and elegance. A sign of royalty.

“ That’s my grandfather.” Damian said as he startled the shit out of me., “ and grandmom.”

“ Really?” they are so perfect.  I thought.

“ They were lovers from the day they could walk on their own feet. They were their one and only. They lived together here for years. Until grandmom died. He was alone and grumpy then. We came to visit but he didn’t like visitor. He was always angry and agitated. He would fish and drink. And suddenly one day he called my dad and asked him if he could come here to meet him. My dad instantly said yes. When he went there he saw him in his usual seat near the lake but without fishing rod. And the surprising thing was he was talking with someone. For a minute dad saw a redhead girl of age of 19 or 20 seating beside him. He blinked and she was gone. He knew instantly it was his mother, my grandmother. They talked for a while and dad decided to stay the night.  Next morning he found grandfather in his lounging chair dead with wedding rings of grandma and his in his hand tightly held like he would not let it go. We were really surprised to find out he story scary but romantic. I like my grandfather very much even though he did not talk to much with me.” He said as he looked at the portrait.  They looked so perfect in everyway. I smiled as I found an art interesting for the first time.

After refreshing ourselves, we went for swimming. Just two of us. Laughter and loud voices of ours echoing the villa. The fishes weren’t there anymore so it was okay. We forgot about the time as we talked about ourselves in a way I never had with anyone. He made me smile for no reason. He made me laugh just like that. In other words he melted me in himself. We just sat near the lake as we watched the sunset together and the red sky was mesmerizing. I had a great time with him.

“Go out with me.” He said out of nowhere. I looked at him and saw his green eyes strong as he was. The red light was making him look so........beautiful. I took a sharp breath in and looked down on the ground.

“ Why?” I asked and he laughed before catching me by the waist and pecking my nose lightly.

“You make me, I make you happy. What more reason do you need, love?” He said with a light chuckle. I smiled and shrugged.

“ What?” he said as he tried to make me looked in his eyes. He was dominate when he came to dating things. Uugh!!

“ Okay.” I whispered.

“ WHAT??”  he shouted. I shoved him and screamed, “ Okay, Okay!!!! I will try, you idiotic mother fucker!!” 

He laughed and pulled me in for a kiss. And this time I kissed him back with a smile. He pulled me tightly as he deepened the kiss. I smiled as I kissed him back.

Somewhere I wished that his grandparents blessed us or something. Cause I wanted to try this relationship. For a long time. And I want to keep their motto alive.

That somehow love never dies.

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A/N:  Until Next Time

Ciao! :)

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