Chapter 26: Chapter 25 - It's Over

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"What did you just say?" Ryan asked furiously.

Will froze in shock. He couldn't believe he'd said what he'd just said. 

This isn't going to be good... he thought.

"Tell me what you just said," Ryan repeated, this time as an order rather than a question. Will opened his mouth to give him a response but he just couldn't. The answer was stuck in his throat. He just couldn't bring himself to repeat what he'd just moaned out loud.

"Goddammit, Will, just fucking say it again," Ryan grounded out. It was obvious in Ryan's tone that he didn't want to hear it again, but he couldn't believe what Will had said, especially in the situation they were in.

"I-I didn't mean to, Ry, I swear! I-I-I, it was an accident, I didn't mean to! Oh my god, Ryan, I didn't mean to, I'm so sorry," Will was finally able to stammer out before breaking down into tears. The emotions were too much for Will at that point. He didn't want to cry but it was just too much.

Ryan scoffed. He wasn't going to fall for Will's obvious ploy for pity. Not this time. He pushed the other boy off from on top of him and slid across the other side of the bed as Will stabilised himself from being pushed.

"Don't give me that bullshit, Will!" Ryan shouted angrily, causing Will to jump in shock. He had never heard his boyfriend this angry before. "We were finally going all the way! We-we were... making love for the first time, Will. So tell me, god-fucking-damn tell me why the hell you moaned his name instead of mine?!" Ryan yelled, angrier than before.

Will shook in his spot as his fear paralysed him. He didn't want to say the name out loud again, and truthfully, he had no idea why he'd said his name. Will was really at a loss for words at that moment. He had no idea what he should do, or what he should say. Ryan was glaring at him now, his breath ragged from the screaming and both teens' eyes welling up with tears.

"I was fucking you, Will, I was fucking you. So why the hell did you scream OLIVER?!" Ryan bellowed furiously, his voice going hoarse as he shouted that dreaded name. Will broke down into sobs once again as Ryan let tears stream down his face, not caring anymore to hold them back.

"I'm sorry, Ryan, I'm so, so sorry," Will repeated over and over as he cried. He didn't have anything else to say, he couldn't explain himself, he couldn't give Ryan an answer. All he was was sorry.

Ryan sat, getting angrier and angrier as Will continued to repeat himself. Sorry meant nothing to him right now, especially from the crying mess in front of him. For the months he'd been dating Will, he was always wary of Oliver and the lingering feelings Will had for him. No matter how much Will dismissed it and said he'd moved on, Ryan knew he hadn't. But as time went on, and Will stayed with him, Ryan got comfortable and let his guard down. He cares more about me than him, he'd think to himself constantly.

But here they were, going all the way for the first time. It was a special moment in their relationship and filled with so much emotion – to Ryan, anyway – and the person on Will's mind wasn't him. The person on Will's mind never seemed to be him. 

But why?

"Stop it," Ryan barked, having enough. "Stop saying you're sorry, Will, stop it!"

Will stopped, not wanting to anger his boyfriend any further. Hopefully, Ryan stayed his boyfriend. The two sat in silence, the only sound coming from Will's occasional sniffling.

"Remember that night after I broke my leg?" Ryan started. Will nodded, unsure where this was going. "We were in the kitchen and I said to you that I felt like I'd been doing a lot of stupid stuff lately. And I felt like a lot of the decisions I'd made were stupid and I've been doing everything wrong," Ryan continued, staring at his beddings as he expressed how he was feeling. Now was no time to hold back how he felt. He needed to tell Will exactly what he thought. He'd been holding back for so long and let it pent up, again. He took a stuttered breath, trying to hold back his building emotions.

"And I told you that you weren't a stupid decision, that you were the only right decision I'd made, and I would never regret it," Ryan went on, trying to rein in his emotions as his voice got more and more emotional. Will held his breath, dreading what was to come next. Ryan flicked his eyes up to make eye contact with Will.

"I regret it now," he stated clearly in an icy cold tone.

Will could feel the ice puncture his heart, breaking it in two. He exhaled deeply as all the breath left his body. No part of him, his mind, his body, could process what Ryan had just said. All he could do was tell himself that Ryan was being overemotional and that was why he'd said that.

"I had to come out to be with you, Will. I had to tell my parents, my friends, my family, the whole school, that I was gay. And I'm not even gay!" Ryan exclaimed loudly. Will flinched at the loudness but tried to take in what Ryan was telling him. "Do you know how hard it is to tell people that you're bisexual and have them dismiss you? Have them make you choose: gay or straight? Bisexuality falls on deaf ears around here, Will. I had to go through so much!"

"Why didn't you say anything?" Will asked in a whisper.

"Because you were always so focused on Oliver! It was always about Oliver! Even when you weren't talking, it was all about him and keeping him away from you!" Ryan exclaimed. "Oliver was a big part of our relationship and he wasn't even in it."

"You still could've said something about it. We could have discussed it," Will countered as calmly as he could, which was hard since all he wanted to do was cry again.

Ryan scoffed. "Yeah right."

"Then why did you stay with me then?"

"Because I love you and it didn't matter what happened, I wanted to stay with you and be there for you," Ryan said truthfully. The two stayed silent for a few moments before Ryan added, "But not anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"I-I think it might be best if we...if we broke up," Ryan explained, taking a stuttering breath. It hurt him to say that. A part of Ryan really didn't want to break up, but he knew it was the best for them.

"No, Ryan, no, don't say that!" Will yelled, his tears bubbling back up. Any strength he had to keep himself strong and together left him. He began to cry profusely. "Please don't break up with me," he blubbered.

Ryan steeled himself, trying to stick to his guns. "Will, just go."

"No, no, no," Will sobbed over and over.

The conflicting emotions within Ryan grew and grew. His anger and sadness just building and building. "Out. Get OUT!" he yelled, finally snapping. He wanted Will out so he could break down alone in peace.

Will shook his head as he kept on crying on the bed, not wanting to leave. Ryan growled, taking a hold on Will's arm and pulling him off the bed. Will landed on the hardwood floor with a thud but his crying continued. Ryan repeated himself for Will to leave but Will protested, trying to get back closer to Ryan. Ryan fought back, pushing him away.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

After struggling with one another for over an hour, Ryan was able to finally get Will out his front door, slamming it in his face. Will banged loudly against it as he begged to be let back in, his sobbing now hoarse as he'd run out of tears a while back.

Ryan sat on the floor of his hallway, leaning against the door as he cried. The pain and sadness he could hear in Will's voice cut his heart. It was being torn to shreds. And the only one who could fix it was the one destroying it.

The two teens cried on opposite sides of the door. How long, Ryan wasn't sure. It felt like hours and hours, like he'd spent an eternity crying. Tonight was the longest night of his life, that was for sure. He could hear scratching on the other side of the door as Will kept on muttering about being let in.

"Just go, Will, it's over," Ryan stated clearly before his voice broke out into a sob. He could feel a strong pain emanating from his broken leg, but he couldn't bring himself to care when his heart hurt so much more.

He heard Will sigh and say, "Bye, Ryan. I love you," through the door. Ryan held back another sob as his heart begged him to say it back. He heard Will sigh once again before some shuffling. It was only when Ryan heard the retreating footsteps did he realise that Will was leaving. Each heavy footstep was like a nail being hammered into their relationship.

When Ryan couldn't hear the footsteps anymore, the finality of it all set in. And he cried harder than he ever had in his life.

It's over...

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A/N: Hope this was ok! Not the end of the story, still got some stuff left to go!

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