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I was so thankful to even be alive today. I slept peacefully after being so worn out yesterday at Asher's house. To be honest, I felt like we were good friends. He let me stay longer after dinner and what tired me the most - but in the best way possible - was Zion. The little angel had come up with all kinds of games for the three of us to play that not even an adult would think of. Kids were clever, and whoever disagreed was a fool. It was just how their minds worked, I guessed.

What I was mostly excited about was being able to cook and bake for this early evening's picnic. I wasn't really looking forward to the drive to Pine Creek Lake, but I didn't want Asher to think I was a scaredy cat.

I already wrote out the list of food I was going to prepare.

I was in the kitchen that afternoon, trying to get a head start when my brother came back from work. Mom was already home, but she didn't know about my plans today. I

just didn't want to bother anybody about it, that was all.

"Welcome back," I called out to Justin as he pecked Mom's cheek.

"How was work?" she asked him.

"Eh, the usual. I have quite a bunch of contracts to go through." He shrugged. "I also met some interesting people with some..." he chuckled. "Interesting stories. What're you doing there, buddy?" he nodded at me as I sliced some fruits to make the fruit salad.

"Oh, um... I'm having a picnic with someone."

He raised his eyebrows. "Is it Shane?"

I shook my head with a smile. "Assumption, assumptions."

He held up his hands in defense. "My bad, just curious. I have no problem with him, I just don't think you guys... belong together is all."

"It isn't him," I reassured.

"Is it someone special?" Mom beamed with a look of anticipation.

Asher? Someone special?

"Not... quite, no. Just a friend, I think."

"You think?" Justin smiled and dropped his briefcase and jacket. "I wanna hear this. Looks like you're getting over your ex."

"Wrong. I'm most definitely not over Shane. I absolutely love Shane and I'm sorry you have to hear that."

"Nah, it's not the first time. Do you need any help?"

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you and Mom."

Mom perked up, glad to be a part of the conversation again. "What is it, honey?"

I stopped slicing to wash my hands and wipe them. "I... it's about my meds. I haven't been taking them."

"Why not?" Mom questioned.

"Well, you know how one of the side effects is... suicidal thoughts?"

Mom's hand flew to her mouth. "Oh... baby..." she dropped her hand.

"So, you've been..." Justin's eyes widened. "That's why you overdosed - you said it was an accident."

"It was! In a way, okay? I don't wanna harm myself. I'm fine but I can't take those meds."

"You should have told me so I could notify your doctor. Sweetheart, you could've died!"

Mom cried out.

"I could've died lots of times, Mom."

"What does that mean?"

I glanced down. "I was kidnapped."

Silence fell on us at those words. I continued. "He could've killed me with his bare hands. I could've died when he crashed his car with me inside."

"Nolan..." Mom gave me a sad face.

"I didn't mean to turn the blame on anybody. I overdosed, and I didn't tell you why, and I'm sorry you had to go through all that trouble. I should've just told you."

Justin heaved a sigh. "Why didn't you tell us, though? We would've helped. And we will help. Mom's gonna call your doctor, and maybe he'll lower your dosage or prescribe something else."

Mom nodded. "Please tell us when things like this happen." She paused. "Justin, I didn't

know you already told him about..."

"Right. He needed to know, and I needed to get it out. I don't have every detail; I was only ten. Maybe you can answer some of the questions he likely has."

I shook my head. "Just one."

With a solemn look, Mom nodded at me, trying not to relive any of those memories.

I took a breath. "Who was he? I wanna meet him."

***

*Asher's POV*

Two ways I knew I was sure I liked Nolan were the nerves and butterflies.

Lord, I couldn't believe my lack of control right now. Not that his age bothered me, but to be real... he was 17!

I'd been just a tad bit distracted during work and even when I went to go pick Zion up from his daycare.

I opened the front door and let him run into the house, waving his new toy about excitedly.

"Daddy, you didn't see!" He came up to me and pulled on my sleeve then thrust his toy up in the air, as far as his arm would go.

I chuckled and squatted down to his level. "I see, baby. Who gave it to you?"

Zion shook his head. "Oh! No, no! I picked it off the floor."

My eyes widened. "Zion!"

"What?"

"Love, that's stealing. If it doesn't belong to you, never take it."

"So, it belongs to the floor? Uh oh."

I couldn't help but laugh under my breath, but I quickly put on a serious face. "You have to return it. If you do that and apologize, then I'll get you your own toy."

Zion grasped the toy and nodded. "I think I know who had it before me."

"Who?"

"He's Jonah, but I don't know if it's his."

"I know a kid named Jonah! Well, his mom, but still. He's in your class, right?" I asked.

"Mhm."

"Okay, so at school on Monday, you can ask him if it's his."

"Okay."

"Come here." I embraced him and kissed the top of his head. "We're going out soon, alright?"

He nodded and ran to his room. I knew he was going to play with the stolen toy, but he might as well, now that he had it.

I stood back up and made my way to my room. My home didn't have a staircase, so my room was right across Zion's.

I had less than twenty minutes to shower and get Zion and myself ready, which was no time at all considering I was focused on at least smelling my best. I couldn't over dress; it was just a picnic. I tugged on my hair, cursing at myself. You're an adult, get a grip.

I sure wished I was in high school. That would make my chances of getting Nolan a lot

easier. Because, truthfully, I wanted him. I just did. He was a good person, and a wise thinker with a generous, forgiving heart. Considering all the relationships I've had, was I really going to pass him up? Hell no.

I threw on a blue button-down shirt and dark jeans before rushing over to Zion's room. He had found his way out of his clothes and was playing with his toy in only pull-ups. I chuckled at the sight of my little boy and picked him up, catching him unawares.

"Oi!" he squealed.

"Come, come. How about you go pee?"

"I pee-peed, daddy!"

"In the toilet?" I raised my eyebrow questioningly. He didn't say anything, just stared at me with big eyes, and I sighed, putting him down. I headed towards the little restroom

beside his room. I peered inside only to see some of his pee had missed spectacularly. I let out a groan as he rushed passed me and flushed the toilet before pointing at the pee on the floor.

"Daddy! I wanna flush it but it belongs to the floor!" He came to me and hugged my leg. "That's stealing! You said no, no, stealing is bad. I'm a good boy!"

I squinted at him. "You clever little..." I shook my head.

**

By the time I arrived at Nolan's, it was almost six, but I was hoping he'd understand.

I stepped out of my car and brought out my phone. I had gotten his number as well so I

just texted him that I was outside. In four minutes, he was out with the picnic basket and

I smiled, approaching to offer a hand.

"Oh, my!" I chuckled. "Thank you for this."

"It's nothing. I enjoyed making it."

"Well, I'll enjoy eating it, not gonna lie," I admitted. "With you and Zion, of course but please don't blame me if I get a bit stingy. Your food is amazing."

"Oh." His cheeks reddened. "Thanks."

Once everything was settled and Nolan tickled the daylight out of my son, I backed out of his driveway and onto the road. It had been a while since I visited Pine Creek Lake, so I was eager to drive there and let all my childhood memories float back to me.

"I'm really glad we're doing this. I didn't realize how much this place meant to me until you mentioned it."

"Yeah," Nolan managed, his voice small and uneasy.

I drummed the wheel for a second. Crap, what do I say? It's only been two years since I've done this! How hard could it be?

Wait - this wasn't even a date! My child was in the car for goodness' sake.

"You look nice," I complimented.

"Thanks," he rushed out. I glanced at him in the passenger's seat to see him clutching his seatbelt like his life depended on it, and his cheeks flushed.

Well, that definitely wasn't a sign he was into me in the slightest. No, that was a bad sign.

"You don't look okay, what's wrong?" I queried.

He squeezed his eyes shut and pulled his eyebrows together. "I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry!" he sputtered apologies, his breath escalating.

"Nolan?" I looked in the rearview mirror and pulled my car over before stopping. When he realized we weren't moving, he opened his eyes, released the breath he'd been holding in for god knows how long, and slowly released his grip on his seatbelt.

"Why'd you pull over?" he asked, as if nothing had just happened.

"Because you're not okay," I explained. He took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, Asher." He shook his head, disappointed in himself. "I just hate being in a car, or driving. I panic. Nothing new, I'm sorry."

I nodded in understanding. "You shouldn't apologize; I get it. I can slow down a bit?"

"Okay. That'd be great, actually." He chuckled nervously then fell silent.

"Alright, well, take a moment. Just, know that you won't get hurt in any way. I won't allow it."

"I'm fine now. Really. Sometimes I just need some reassurance." He held onto his seatbelt again.

"Your seatbelt is reassurance enough?" I asked. He laughed a little and shrugged.

"I was talking about you saying I won't get hurt, but yeah, this helps too. A little."

"Would a hand help?"

He gazed at me, his blue eyes brighter than the sky. I was instantly captivated.

Nonetheless, I offered a hand for him to hold and he turned his gaze to it. Glancing back up at my eyes, he gave me an unsure look before placing his left hand in mine.

I smiled at him.

And he smiled back at me.

Though his right hand still grasped his seatbelt, his other hand was firmly in mine.

Steadily, I began to drive again, but not before checking on Zion who was fast asleep.

*******

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