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"You can ask me anything that's on your mind," Asher offered me as we sat at the little dining table together, eating dinner. Zion was further in the living room playing with his toys while watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

"Hmm. You are a mystery."

"Isn't everyone? You're a mystery to me, too."

"Yeah, I'm not exactly an open book, am I? I'm so used to putting on smiles. Now I don't

feel like myself anymore."

"Maybe it's the other way round. That putting on smiles just wasn't you."

I pondered over that and shrugged. "My girlfriend, Dawn, died three years ago. I couldn't get over her for a long time. That's when the panic attacks started. My best friend, Jace started dating this guy last year, named Shane, and after Dawn's death, I felt like I didn't deserve love. Stupid me, I fell for Shane. To cut a long story short, Jace

moved, let me date Shane, Shane and I are through, they're together like they've always should've been..." I didn't know how to finish it. "He wasted almost a whole year on me, Asher," I quietly concluded, picking at my food.

"And you're still in love with Shane?"

I nodded. "Shamefully, too. I don't blame him in any way, but... my life feels crappy now. I'm in a bad mood all the time and I can never get a full night's sleep."

Asher leaned forward. "There is nothing wrong with being in a bad mood. Don't think you're expected to paint a happy smile on your face every day and bury your true emotions. Let them out." He leaned back again and crossed his arms. "I'm talking from experience here."

I smirked a little. "So how's your life?"

He uncrossed his arms. "A load of shit, and the only sunshine I get is that little angel over there screaming 'oh, Toodles!' every morning before school," Asher responded, nodding in Zion's direction. I laughed.

"He is an angel," I agreed, watching the boy play alone.

"Every angel has a demon in them. I'm not looking forward to the day girls are sneaking out of his bedroom and the empty cans of beer under his bed."

I gaped. "Oh, come on. He's not gonna be like that. Okay, not every guy is the same. I never drank or had girls in my bed. What about you? Is that why you can't seem to forgive yourself?"

Asher chuckled, his dimples showing. "Not exactly. Hah. In fact, my parents could only wish that was the case. I dated a boy for the first time when I was fifteen."

"Oh, dear." I knew where this was going, and Asher could tell as he rolled his eyes.

"My dad absolutely could not stand to be in the same room with me. My mother was actually pretty accepting of it. She didn't look at me any differently and I even explained that I wasn't gay. Pansexual, maybe. I just... I don't care who it is." He glanced at his son to make sure he wasn't hearing us before lowering his voice. "I look beyond dicks and tits, okay?"

I laughed. "Well, that's a nice way to put it."

"Right. But I was a bit of a hothead so I often got into huge fights with my parents, mostly my dad, until I just cut them off completely. And my older brother... we're exactly like you and Justin. Well... we were."

I pulled my brows together. "He passed away?" I asked, sorrow coating my voice.

"Oh - no! Our relationship fell apart, that's all."

"Are you back in touch with your parents?"

He heaved a sigh. "I've been thinking about that ever since we talked about forgiveness. It seems to come easy for you, but not for me, especially where my dad is concerned. They haven't met Zion, and I don't know if I want them to."

"They're your parents, Asher. I know, I have no place to tell you what to do, but family is important."

"I have a family," he persisted, glancing at his son.

"You do. Of course, Zion is a major part of your life and most likely the best thing that's ever happened to you. I think it'd give you peace if you settled things with... the other parts of your life as well. It'll give you a sense of balance."

We were silent for a bit, but there was something I wanted to ask.

"Have you ever been to Pine Creek Lake?"

His face brightened. "I have, actually. Funny, not many people go there anymore." He shook his head. "When I was a kid, it was the most common leisure site for all ages. With the fun playground and the large field where you can play Frisbee or jog or walk your dogs. Sucks that those days are gone. I would've loved to take Zion there."

I smiled. "You still could."

He chuckled. "It's practically dead there."

I sat up straighter. "Well, I was thinking... actually, I have a couple ideas. If you want, I could make a bunch of food for you and Zion to have a picnic, so you two could spend time together and bond. You know, the father-son kind of thing. My other idea is, we could throw a party there. Invite tons of people so that they can find the beauty of Pine Creek that's been lost for years. I think that's what's missing: people. I mean, think

about it. It's been around for god knows how long... we can't just let people throw it away."

Asher nodded, considering my words. "Personally, I like the former idea, but you know what's missing in that picture?"

"No, what?"

"You."

"Me?"

"Well, yeah. I'd be a fool to let you cook for me and Zion, then have a picnic without you."

"It's no problem, really. I love cooking."

"Then enjoy your food with us." He smiled. "You're so generous."

I looked down. "I don't want you to feel obligated to-"

"I don't. I want you to. The party idea is also good. We can work on that together. Tomorrow's Saturday. I work until five, so maybe we can have the picnic before sunset?"

"Won't you be tired?"

"Well, some nice food after work and some relaxation would be nice."

A smile crossed my face. "Perfect. Does Zion have any food allergies?"

"Not really; he practically eats just about anything that can fit in his mouth. It's sort of an advantage. At least I can let him go to his friends' birthday parties without having to worry about the food their serving."

I laughed. "Good. I'll make some sandwiches - good ones, I'll have fruit, and I'll have to think of the rest."

"Bet you have a bunch of recipes to run through in your head."

I chuckled. "Yeah. So, do we meet there or..?"

"Um, I'll pick you up."

I felt my stomach turn. "Okay," I obliged.

He caught onto my uneasiness and raised his eyebrows. "Or... is that not what you wanted - we can do it some other time."

I shook my head. "No! Really, that's perfect. So, five-forty? Maybe six?"

"Sounds good."

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