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Chapter 10
A/N: I'm so sorry for my lack of any consistently!! Like I said my Internet has been just no for a month or so. I'm going to try and update more provided I have time after or during school. I'm so proud of all you guys for staying my fans despite all this! Thank you all so much!! I love you all!!!
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{Carter's P.O.V}
Adrian broke our kiss with a more nervous look donning his face. Apparently I can never be happy for an extended amount of time, something always has to happen that just destroys my mood.
"Carter..," Adrian sighed glancing into my eyes briefly, long enough for me to notice a question lingering in their deep, blue depths. "I need to ask you a question..about your past..," Everything in me was hoping for a good or happy topic to discuss. Honestly there is only one question I would like to hear from him. But I honestly doubt he'd ever ask me to be his boyfriend.
"Go on," I urged, not very eager to discuss past events but curious to find out the question. Whatever it may be Adrian looks reluctant to ask. The taller man withdrew from me putting a few paces between us. Now he's starting to freak me out a little bit, he's acting weird and I don't like it.
"A-Adrian? What do you want to know?" My eyes searched his face, meeting the sapphire orbs before me. Something about the way he's taking his time is a little off putting. Just spit it out, if I don't want to answer I'm not going to though.
"Actually you know what? Never mind me even bringing it up, it can wait until later. Would you like to go to the store with me? If the other doctors don't mind I would enjoy your company immensely," Adrian jumped topics swiftly, leaving me in the dark with his suspicions.
"Why did you change subjects? Why can't you just ask now and get it over with?" I questioned as if he hadn't mentioned leaving this foul place.
"Because I don't want to upset you when we can simply just discuss it later. There isn't any reason I can't just wait," Adrian stated, not helping me a bit. May as well just leave it be because what I've seen from him so far he's very stubborn, I doubt he would give in easily.
"Aside from that though would you like to go with me to the store? I promised Alec that since it is his birthday I would try to throw him some kind of small party. Although at the very least I'm going to get him a toy or something," Adrian looked thoughtful as he spoke.
Obviously he's grown very attached to the kid. Although I can't blame him. Alec is such a sweet little kid after all, it's sad that he's even here in the first place. His parents barely ever come visit him. Victor is his only constant companion. After his parents abandoned him here a year ago because of his "psychosis" all he can talk about is how when Victor and him get better he will get to go home. It's kind of sad he's only four, well five now, and he's going to have abandonment issues.
"Sure if its okay with them I'll go, only because of Alec though he's sweet and deserves to be happy for at least a little while," I crossed my arms defiantly, unwilling to admit that I really just want to be around him and riding to the store sounds a little fun actually. Maybe my facial scar won't be too off-putting.. Maybe I shouldn't go after all people will talk.
My eyes widened with a sudden realization. What if I see Talon? I can't go. He'll kill me if he sees me. Just thinking about my abusive Ex made my chest tighten painfully, throbbing with the ghosts of my past. It's been nearly a year since that day and I find myself thinking about it more frequently than ever before. Lately my dreams have all turned to nightmares, I suspect tonight will probably end the same way as well.
"What's wrong Carter?" Adrian asked in a soothing tone. I looked back up at him, my blood all rushed away from my face.
"N-nothing, I think I'll stay after all It's probably a bad idea to leave. I doubt the doctors would let me leave anyway..," I chattered nervously, my stomach felt as if it had simply fallen out of my body in disgust. Every nerve ending is screaming for me to stay, to be safe.
"I think it would be a good idea for you to get out a little. I know you aren't criminally insane and so does Thuddy she might even think its a good idea too,"
I found myself wondering back to my bed like so many times before, sinking in the powder blue depths of my sheets I felt safe again. Like a child who knows that no harm will come to them if they hide beneath their blankets. Like a child I like to keep a blind eye to the world. Because if I can't see them then why should they be able to see me?
"Carter," Adrian took on a calm, soothing tone again, he always speaks to me as if I'm always frightened. Maybe I am always frightened.
"Don't block me out again, I don't know why you're suddenly so determined to stay here but I promise if you go with me I won't let anything happen to you Angel. Okay?" Adrian sat on the edge of my bed rubbing my leg gently through my coverage. Once again I could feel the heat of his skin seeping in, helping persuade me to go along.
"I'm not blocking you out.. I just don't want to go," Even I didn't trust my voice the way it was shaking.
"It's obvious you're afraid of something or someone but I swear on my life I won't let anything or anybody physically harm you in any way. I'll protect you," His voice sounded so strong and sure. He knew what he was saying and what he wants to do. I'm afraid to go because of what might happen. It's obvious he'll do all he can to keep me safe, but I don't know if its enough.
"You will protect me?" My voice sounded small. I sat up and met his unwavering gaze. Adrian always looks like he knows everything, his eyes tell me what his mouth just said but I still don't know. It's hard enough to think I could encounter Talon anywhere. If I actually did I just don't know what I'd do.
"I will, ill be right by your side no matter what," Adrian's hand moved to my hair, a simple, sweet gesture that calmed me down.
"O-okay I'll go. Promise you won't disappear on me though, please..," sitting back up I hugged him, burying my face in his neck.
"Never, I'll protect you sweetheart I promise. Now let me go talk to Dr. Thuddy and see if you can even come with me. Ill be right back okay?"
"Okay," Adrian withdrew from me on that note, walking out. Suddenly I felt alone, if my psychiatrist says I can leave ill be out in the world. Something akin to bile rose in my throat at the thought. I want to go and accompany Adrian badly, but Talon..
{Adrian's P.O.V}
I walked out of 323, working my way down the bleached halls I've become accustomed to. Carter looked afraid but it seems like it would be good for him to leave this place. Although he seems to be terrified. Maybe it has something to do with the person who put him in here.
Well whatever it is, I'm not going to let anything bad happen to him.
After having been here for only like a week, I've become accustomed to the papery looking hallways. Alec had to show me around for quite awhile, but I'm proud of myself. Where is Alec right now anyway? Probably playing hide and seek with the orderlies. Granted they never seem to know that they are playing.
The desolated halls seemed to echo my footsteps. On occasion I pass a somber looking patient or doctor. It seems this place just sucks the life out of all the people here.
I wonder what Carter was like 2 or 3 years ago? Has the sorrowful, pallid faced boy always been this way or was he completely different? Sure maybe he has always been timid and sad. However I really doubt it. The look in his eyes says that he was once a different person, I can see it but I can't reach it in this slight, husk of a boy. The scars, dimpling his pale skin tell stories I want to know. Stories he will probably never tell. I'd walk this earth a thousand times if it meant he'd be happy.
As I reached the elevators, I absentmindedly pressed the down button. It lit under my touch promising my need be met. My mind however was far away, that night months ago found its way back into my conscious mind. That night I found the bloody, broken boy in the alley. All the evidence points to Carter. It has to have been him I found. Of course asking would've definitely been the quickest way to know, but the look that flashed across his delicate features proved to me that his past was dark. Obviously he didn't wish to speak of old times but its my job to know and questioning is the easiest way to come by knowledge.
Metal doors slid open before me like the chrome jaws of some metallic giant, without thinking I walked in pressing 2, sure it was one floor down, I could've walked but I didn't want to. Lazy I know. Nobody else stood in the elevator with me, due to the distance my ride was also short-lived.
My mind switched from Carter to Dr. Thuddy. Everything in me is hoping she'll let Carter out. Personally I believe it would do him good, all work and no play makes Carter a dull boy. Also maybe she'll be happy with the progress I've made with him, considering he's spoken to me and all. Maybe ill just leave what little relationship we have out for now. Besides she seems like a sensible woman. Surely she'll see the practicality in this as well.
The hall where Thuddy's office is located seems especially empty today. Always quiet though, so it's kind of as to be expected. She's my mentor I check in with her everyday. Though a little distant at times she is always kind and level headed. I'm actually very honored to have had been picked as her underling.
Arriving at the heavy wooden door I knocked firmly wanting her to be there. Honestly I'm way to anxious to wait any time at all.
"Come in," A faint feminine voice called from the office.
Immediately I pushed the door in slowly, her wide office revealed to me. The petite, dark haired woman looked up at me from her desk behind an ominous stack of paperwork. She blinked at me looking slightly surprised. Obviously not expecting to see anyone for at least a little while. Dr. Thuddy sat down her pen, all of her attention focused on me.
"Mr. Smith? Is everything alright? I know it's not time for you to go home yet," Storm spoke softly with a curious edge to her voice.
"No nothing is wrong I was just curious about something that's all," Afraid to get to the point I chose to dance around my question.
"About what Adrian?" Storm said again urging me to get to my point.
"My patient Carter Willows, is it okay if he leaves with me?" My question sounded shaky even to me. Storm sighed softly, slightly caught off guard my my question.
"Adrian I'm not sure I can permit that," Storm folded her hands in front of her, a habit she must've developed over the years.
"He said that he would like to go if it is okay with you. I think it would be good for him to be out with other people," Storm's brown eyes widened slightly at my words.
"Said? You mean he actually spoke to you? We were all beginning to think he was mute," Her voice was the definition of disbelief.
"He trusts me enough to speak. In fact he trusts me enough to protect him, he believes I will and I know I can. He's been depressed, you know that it's in his file, I think this will all be very good for him. It might clear his head some," hopefulness rung out among my words. Hope that she might say yes.
Storm sighed, another habit she's obviously developed after some time, "Where would you two be going?"
My smile felt as if it might split my face, I can't help but feel excited. I'm not even sure why, I'm just happy to get to spend time in the world with Carter. "Just to Walmart I only need a couple things,"
"Of course there is going to be paperwork for you to fill out before you go so we can better find you if needed. Also, just because I'm curious, why are you wanting so badly to go to Walmart, it's not really a very interesting place," Storm questioned on sounding like a mother of sorts.
"Well," I scratched the back of my neck kind of awkwardly, "I kind of promised Alec I would get him something for his birthday. It is today after all, I wanted to make him happy, maybe get him a little cake and a present," I kind of also forgot to ask permission.
Storm scowled at me silently, "And when were you planning on asking us about this party Adrian?"
"I meant to I promise, I just forgot. Sorry, I can though right?" Hopefully I didn't just get up Alec's hopes for nothing.
"As long as you don't give him anything dangerous or vulgar, preferably something soft and hard to harm somebody else with. Not that I think the boy will harm anyone, it's just rules," Storm persisted in that motherly tone of hers.
"Okay, okay I got it. Can we go though?" Excitement courses through my nerves, I'm acting like a child today.
Storm slowly handed me some forms for Carter's temporary release, "His parents sent a suitcase with him, there should be clothes in there for him. It's in the closet behind the nurses desk on his floor. Since all of our guests wear the clothes we give them we keep the ones they don't around in case need comes up,"
"Okay got it, thanks Dr. Thuddy," I turned to hurry out.
"Oh and by the way Adrian, be careful, this boy has been through a lot it wouldn't be good if this being out makes him worse. Make sure he has taken his meds before he leaves,"
"Okay, okay, I got it," I hurried from her room, remembering her instructions precisely.
I had to go back to the elevator, I'll fill the forms out when I get to the nurses desk. I don't have a pen on me plus I need to get him some clothes. Oh I'm so excited, I wonder if Carter is as excited as I am. There were people in the elevator when I walked in, mostly doctors, one quiet patient. We all waited quietly, after a moment the elevator dinged and I stepped out, a couple of doctors tailing me.
One of the nurses looked up at me as I neared their desk. None of the nurses here ever really do anything, they seem to keep to themselves most of the time. I wonder if they gossip. Do they gossip about me? Hm questions.
"Hello, I need Carter Willows' suitcase please," I tried to request politely, regardless I was met with an incredulous look. Obviously someone doesn't like their job. The obviously unhappy nurse walked to the closet behind her starting to search slowly. Fine be slow I need to fill these papers out anyway. Slowly I did the paperwork, boredly though. This shit is boring, no wonder Storm always looks disheartened. I would too if I had a stack of paperwork the size of the Empire State Building.
The unnamed nurse dropped the plain black suitcase on the desk right beside me, like I'm not busy filling stuff out. Damn, bitch. I laid the pen down and gave her a sarcastic smile. I gathered a black and white sweater and some black jeans from the bag. Looking in this is like looking into his past. This is kind of like seeing the person he used to be.
"You can put it back now I just needed a couple things," Shooting the bitchy nurse another sarcastic smile, I dropped the suitcase back down and made my way down to Carter's room. I opened the door to his room and smiled at the boy. Carter looked up from his bed, obviously not expecting me. How come nobody is always expecting me?
Carter smiled at me softly, his light blond hair fell into his eyes giving him a really young look. There's no way I couldn't smile at him. He's so sweet looking. I sat down at the foot of his bed slowly.after so long of him not speaking I just want to hear his voice again.
"Hey Angel guess what," I said excitedly.
"What?" He looked up meeting my gaze with his steady one. He's always so calm. Was he always this way?
"You can go with me, the doctor said so," I thrust his clothes into his arms. Carter took them with a look of mild surprise.
"Really?" The boy paled some more, obviously very nervous about leaving.
"Really. Get dressed, I finish these papers while you do okay?"
"O-okay," Carter mumbled softly.
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A/N: Yay look I did a thing.
I know it's been forever since I have uploaded anything, especially this but I'm going to try to do better.
My Internet is still a dick.
I'm going to try and do something in my free time that involves me typing my stories more.
I've had like 25% of a new chapter of my servant typed so ill either finish that next or do a new chapter of Male Order Bride.
ALSO IF YOU'RE A FAN OF LARRY STYLINSON I PUT OUT A SHORT STORY CALLED IF YOU ONLY KNEW CHECK IT OUT.
IF YOU'RE A FAN OF THE MARCELXPUNK!LOUIS THEN I HAVE A LITTLE PIECE OF A SHORT STORY OF IT ON MY MESSAGE BOARD WHEE. IF PEOPLE LIKE IT ENOUGH I MIGHT MAKE IT INTO A STORY. FEEL FREE TO MESSAGE ME OR WRITE ON MY MESSAGE BOARD.
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