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Four more days passed and it was Sunday again. Except for Tuesday when the boys slept in, they’d gone to see Ayden almost every day. They got there at eight-thirty in the morning but only stayed until Lanai’s lunch break when she picked them up and made them go back to the house.

They slept at Josiah’s parents’ house each night, but Carson’s parents actually came over for dinner every night. It was a massive oddity to the brunet, but he got used to it after the second night. And he actually kind of liked it. He enjoyed seeing how his family got along so well with Josiah’s. Even Walt and Keri stopped by one night.

Since they spent so much time at the hospital, Carson had his check-up one day while they were there. The doctor who saw him told both the boys that Carson looked one-hundred percent fine by then. There were no signs of a returning concussion and he could go back to reading and school work whenever he wanted. But he should still be careful when it came to physical activities that could injure his head. Other than that, he had nothing to worry about; he could go back to normal.

The preliminary hearing was on Friday afternoon. Carson had been an absolute wreck. Josiah thought he had never seen him that bad, not even during the last two weeks had he seemed so unsure of himself and unhappy. Josiah tried not to melt into a puddle of worry and, admittedly, secondhand embarrassment as Carson stuttered and stumbled all over himself while he testified against his attackers.

What was the hardest for Josiah was to just be sat in the same room as Gabriel and Jeremiah. He wanted to kill them for their actions. The intense desire to make them feel as awful as they had made Carson feel actually scared the sage-eyed boy. So in order to cope with his anger, Josiah focused all of his attention on Carson and making sure he didn’t even look at the defendants’ table.

When Carson was finally able to leave the stand to go back and sit with his parents, Josiah didn’t hesitate to latch onto the trembling boy’s hand. All Josiah could think about was that they were one step closer to having things taken care of.

Even Carson kept trying to tell himself that things were going well. He told the truth and told them everything that happened; told them everything he could remember before he had passed out that night. It took everything in his power not to throw up or break down in a trembling fit of tears when he made eye contact with Gabriel for the first time that day.

And as much as he tried to stop himself, he couldn’t help but glance at Gabriel over and over again while he was testifying. The older boy looked like a mess. But he still looked menacing even if all he was doing was staring at Carson in disgust. The brunet wasn’t even sure if there was any malice behind his glare, but it was enough to scare him. It would always be enough as long as Carson had the images and memories ingrained in his mind.

What made being there even slightly worth it was the satisfaction that both Jeremiah and Gabriel were indicted for their crimes. And on Monday they would have to go to their arraignment. Carson was glad that his presence wasn’t required at that. Seeing the people who were responsible for all of his turmoil the last couple weeks just one time was more than enough for the blue-eyed boy. He never wanted to see either of them again.

The night following the hearing, Josiah noticed that even though Carson had spent much of the afternoon freaking out, he seemed to be feeling much better. He smiled and joked with the black-haired boy. And he cuddled and wrestled with Milfred and played fetch with him out in the backyard with Josiah at his side.

A lot of that had to do with talking to Nicole Mcnally. She was an awfully nice woman who really seemed to care about what Carson was going through. And as far as everyone was concerned she was good at her job. She assured them before they left the courtroom that things would more than likely work out to their highest benefit. That had been enough to lift Carson’s spirits for days.

On Saturday the boys went with Kevin to go look for a used car that Josiah could afford. If there was anything Josiah needed more than the company of his best friend, it was a car. It had only taken a few hours for the black-haired boy to find one that was in his and his parents’ price range, as they were helping him out, and fully functioning.

As Carson laid in his makeshift bed on the futon the next night, he stared out of the large window right next to him. He could see the stars shining brightly and the one streetlight a block away flickering. It took about ten minutes of that for the light to go out altogether.

Carson chewed on his lip and stared at the moon sitting far above him in the night sky.

“Joe?” he called out into the darkness of the attic bedroom.

There was a squeaking noise a second later as Josiah shifted on his bed. He had found it hard lately to fall asleep when he knew that Carson was still awake. He had grown accustomed to what Carson’s breathing sounded like when he was sleeping, and the older boy only let himself drift off when he heard the familiar sound.

“Yeah?” Josiah called back, voice a little above a whisper.

Somehow it felt wrong to speak too loudly. Like he might shatter their little picture of peace they had managed to build up since Friday. Josiah sat up in bed and squinted across the room. He was glad Carson was by the window. It meant the black-haired boy could see him a lot better.

“Are you okay, Joe?”

Carson had been thinking about it a lot lately. Josiah did so much for him. He looked out for him, fussed over him, cooked for him, cared about him...he did so much more than Carson could have asked for. He felt bad that he wasn’t returning the favours in full force. But there didn’t seem like much he could do. Every time he tried, Josiah smiled and brushed him off. The brunet hoped that simply asking was better than nothing.

Josiah was a little thrown by the question but he ended up smiling at it. He could see Carson’s back as the younger boy stared out of the window.

“Yeah, I’m good,” Josiah said honestly. He didn’t really know he could mean it as much as he did until he said the words. “At least I’ve got you, man.”

Carson’s stomach flip-flopped. He quietly cleared his throat. Drawing up his courage to ask for what he really wanted, he said, “Will you sleep with me?”

Josiah took a while just to breathe. He hesitated before he answered. The truth was, he could hear the nervousness in Carson’s question. But he could also hear exactly what kind of nervousness it was. Josiah realized that his best friend wasn’t afraid of being alone over there on his futon that not. He was afraid that a boy would turn him down.

So that was why Josiah cracked his knuckles anxiously. He felt a little nervous himself. He knew Carson was gay. He knew it all along. But Carson had never projected this kind of thing onto him before. Josiah just knew from the past that Carson’s voice sounded like that around his past boyfriend’s when he was just getting to know them.

That was the reason for Josiah’s reluctance. He was worried about what was happening. If Carson sounded like that, then Josiah was doing something wrong. Because the brunet should not be thinking about Josiah that way. There were so many things wrong with it.

Josiah was open-minded and everything, but he had Ayden. He could be everything for Carson except for something more than friends. It just seemed so wrong to the darker boy. Not the gay part of it, that actually bothered him a lot less than people would think. But the fact that it was Carson put a huge red x over everything. Josiah didn’t want to ruin anything they had, and he certainly didn’t want to complicate his best friend’s life even more than it already was.

“Carson, I...”

Carson closed his eyes tightly. Fuck, he thought. He knew he should have just kept his mouth shut. He decided in the next second that he was just going to brush it off and change the subject. If he had actually just put Josiah on red alert about his crush, then he needed to fix it. And what better way to do that than to pretend it never happened?

“It’s cool,” Carson said quietly. He was forcing nonchalance and he hoped it was working. He bit his thumbnail anxiously before he changed the subject. “It’s so hard to fall asleep thinking about tomorrow, though, isn’t it?”

Josiah’s hand went into his curls. He knew what Carson was doing now. He was playing pretend. What the older boy wasn’t sure of, though, was if he should play along or not. He wasn’t quite sure what was going to do the most damage in the long run. Deciding to just go with it, he took in a deep breath and laid back down in bed. He stared at the ceiling for a moment before he turned on his side so he could watch Carson.

“Yeah, it is,” Josiah agreed. “I can’t believe we’re going back to school tomorrow.”

Carson nodded and fixed his blue eyes on a faraway star. “My mom wanted me to drop the semester. She’s scared to let me go back there.”

“Can you blame her?” the older boy asked carefully. “A lot has happened.”

“Yeah, and it happened to me,” Carson stressed. “But I’m not gonna let that ruin my life. I have to keep on track with my program. I don’t want to have to retake my classes just because of a speedbump.”

Josiah furrowed his brow in disapproval. “It wasn’t a speedbump, Car. This was a serious accident.”

Carson snorted through his nose. “It wasn’t an accident, Joe. They did it on purpose. And I’m not gonna let it fuck with my future. I can’t do my internship next fall if I don’t get my classes done.”

Josiah gritted his teeth. “Maybe you’re trying to do too much. Postponing things won’t be the end of the world. You’ve gotta pace yourself.”

Carson rolled his eyes, irritated that Josiah was even arguing with him about this. “Well I don’t want to. And it’s my choice. Are you going back to school?” At Josiah’s silence, he continued. “I thought so. I’ve talked to my professors, too. I’m just as capable of catching up as you are. Don’t even try to tell me I’m not.”

The sage-eyed boy sighed, trying to lessen the frustration he was feeling. “That’s not what I’m saying. I just want to make sure this is what you really want to do. I care about you, you know that.”

Carson rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I know. But I’m alright. The doctors said I’m perfectly okay for this.”

Before he could stop himself, Josiah blurted, “That’s because you haven’t asked the right doctors.”

The brunet rolled over in his bed in a flash. He glared through the darkness and made out the dark silhouette of his friend. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” he demanded, raising his voice significantly.

Realizing that he really was that big of an idiot to not censor his words before spouting off at the mouth, Josiah cursed at himself. He wanted to yell back at his best friend, but he couldn’t. He forced himself to stop and breathe for a moment. When he spoke again, it was much calmer.

“I think you should see someone. Like a therapist or something.”

Carson blinked, feeling a little hurt. He dropped his head back down onto the pillow and closed his eyes to the words. “Think that all you want.”

“You should at least consider it,” Josiah said softly.

“You know, if you don’t want to fucking babysit me anymore, then fine. But don’t tell me what to do. I’m going to school whether you’ll be there with me or not.”

Josiah groaned and he felt his chest ache. He hated hurting the other boy. “Carson, please don’t get mad at me. You know I’ll be there for you. You’ll probably get fed up with me with how little I’ll leave you alone.” He sighed and watched Carson’s face in the moonlight. “I’m sorry for hurting your feelings.”

“Dude, just ‘cause I’m gay, it doesn’t mean I’m gonna cry over everything. I’m not an over-sensitive girl.”

“No, but you’re fucking human, Carson,” Josiah said seriously. “I’ve cried a shit ton of times these last few weeks and I couldn’t care less what people think of me because of it. People hurt my feelings sometimes and it bothers me. I know I just hurt yours so I’m apologizing. How about you be a man, here, and just accept it?”

Carson’s jaw dropped at his friend’s outburst, but then he smiled. “Fine,” he said shortly. “And thanks. I appreciate your little hissy fit.”

Josiah laughed and it made Carson smile even more. “Sure, Car. Anytime you need me...”

Carson sighed and they both fell into silence. It was almost midnight, and they were back onto a relatively normal sleeping pattern. Josiah tried to stay awake until he heard the sounds of his friend sleeping, but he passed out before that.

Carson lay awake for a few more minutes after he heard Josiah lightly snoring from the opposite end of the attic. He couldn’t get Josiah’s last line out of his head. It was reassuring as well as disappointing. Carson noticed Josiah’s behaviour when he stupidly asked him to sleep with him. So no, the twenty-one year old wasn’t telling the truth.

He kept saying anytime this, anytime that, but Carson knew better. It wasn’t really anytime, and it couldn’t be. Because Josiah didn’t want him the same way, and that threw his promise right out of the window. But Carson was willing to overlook it for the time being. The brunet would rather have Josiah as a best friend than nothing at all.

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