Array
(
[text] =>

The next morning the two of them packed up their things, ate a quick breakfast of peach oatmeal and toast, and then set off in Josiah's new black car.

They left at about seven and they got to campus a little over an hour later. It was an eerie kind of familiarity for both of the boys as they returned to their school. Neither had been back since the night everything changed for them. Carson was nervous at first, but he told himself he would never go back to the football practice fields again. He knew for sure that if he ever saw that spot again, he would have a full-on meltdown.

Josiah did a decent job at keeping them both smiling as they walked around campus that morning. They parked the car at Josiah’s apartment and went inside briefly so he could collect his backpack and laptop for class. Carson kept close to Josiah as they made their way to his dorm in the center of campus to retrieve his own things.

He tried not to think of how Ayden was blatantly missing from their entourage. Josiah even had a few of his own thoughts like that but he pushed them aside quickly. He put his attention into making sure Carson was doing alright. Josiah found it easier to cope with things if he had someone else to worry about, which was the major reason why he didn’t mind putting so much effort into keeping Carson happy. If his friend was doing well, then Josiah felt a hundred times better about everything.

Carson somewhat sensed that, which was why he didn’t feel smothered by the older boy. Then add in the fact that they genuinely enjoyed and loved being in each other’s company, and there weren’t many problems. Well, as long as Josiah didn’t try to pawn him off on therapists and whatnot, then they wouldn’t have many issues.

In actuality, Josiah didn’t have class until eleven on Mondays, but Carson had one at both ten and eleven. So Josiah pretty much just camped outside of the younger boy’s lecture hall and waited until the fifty minute class was over so he could walk him to the next one.

Carson was actually doing fine for his first day back at college. People didn’t look at him any differently; nobody besides his professors even knew he was the guy who had been on the news reports a couple weeks ago before the story had fizzled out. And his love for philosophy and his classes made him momentarily forget that anything had gone wrong in the first place.

Or that was until he got out of class and he saw Josiah sitting against the wall waiting for him. With no Ayden in sight. It was like a punch to the gut and he almost couldn’t believe he had allowed himself to get sucked back into normalcy for one lousy hour.

Josiah was relieved that their eleven o’clock classes were only down the hall from each other’s, but that didn’t stop the older boy from letting his mind wander over to Carson. He knew that there was no chance that Gabriel of Jeremiah could do anything to his friend--they were in jail right now and expelled from the university. However, that little bit of truth didn’t completely subside his nerves. Josiah just felt like he could never be fully sure that nothing was going to happen to his best friend.

As the academic part of the day wound to an end by two in the afternoon, the boys stopped by Carson’s--and previously Ayden’s--shared dorm room. It hadn’t taken long for the brunet to voice his uncomfortability with staying there now that his roommate and best friend no longer was. And there was no way Josiah was going to let his friend stay somewhere alone.

So they spent about twenty minutes of their afternoon gathering a bunch of Carson’s essentials so he could go back and crash at Josiah’s apartment until further notice.

They tried to keep the night light and casual. They stayed away from tough topics of conversations, and spent a lot of the evening working on the giant heap of homework they had both accumulated in their classes. Josiah even got Carson to help him with cleaning out his refrigerator. That chore was actually quite amusing for the both of them.

Since nobody had been there for two weeks, both the milk and the sour cream Josiah had, managed to spoil. The smell alone had Carson gagging, which made Josiah laugh heartily. In turn, the brunet scowled at his friend and they ended up arguing about ‘manning up’ for a good five minutes.

Once they had finally gotten back onto the task at hand, Josiah realized that he really didn’t have much for good food left. Given that neither of them were in the mood for going out at night to either eat at a restaurant or shop at the grocery store, they settled on cooking the last two frozen pizzas Josiah had and just ate those for dinner.

Tuesday was their easy day. Carson was done with classes at eleven and Josiah was done at twelve-thirty. So they picked that afternoon to go and visit Ayden again. Josiah was grateful on numerous occasions that Rhode Island was such a small state. It meant that going home or going to the hospital from college wasn’t that long of a drive. Most trips he took to different places didn’t exceed more than two hours.

At the hospital Josiah actually felt comfortable with leaving Carson out of his sight for more than fifteen minutes. He let Carson talk with Ayden in that all too familiar ICU room while he went out and wandered the halls a little. He was trying to do some thinking about what was going on and what they were going to do in the long run. Josiah was having difficulties figuring anything out, but he forgot about his issues when he ran into Walt.

It had been a few days since Josiah had seen the older man, and he easily broke out into a bright grin when he walked into the ICU wing of the large hospital. Walt embraced the young man into a brief hug before they pulled back.

“Fancy seeing you here,” Walt said with a smirk. “Wasn’t sure you boys would be in today.”

Josiah shrugged sheepishly. “We couldn’t stay away. Carson’s in there with her now. I figured I’d give him a little alone time with her. He really misses her; I can tell.”

Walt smiled gently. “It’s okay to admit you miss her as well, Josiah.”

Josiah took in a steadying breath and nodded. “Yeah, I know. It’s just weird to say. Like, how can I miss her when I know she’s right here? It’s like she’s not gone, but yet I can’t communicate properly with her.” Josiah rubbed the side of his neck with a light brown hand. “I don’t know, I don’t even make any sense.”

“No, no,” Walt insisted. “You make perfect sense, son. I feel the same way.” Josiah only nodded down at the ground so the older man moved on. “So tell me. How’s school going? Everything alright?”

Josiah sighed as he thought about that. He looked back up at Walt and said, “Yeah, as far as I can tell. It’s only our second day back, but Carson seems fine. I feel like I’m spilling secrets or something by saying this, but he hasn’t cried for a couple days.” Josiah’s cheeks actually flushed when he said, “I haven’t either.”

Walt grinned and patted the younger man on the shoulder. “You both got me beat, then,” he said in a light tone. “I cried last night. Now don’t be ashamed about it. It’s a natural thing.”

Josiah laughed a little. “You sound like you’re giving me the birds and the bees talk, Walt.”

Walt chuckled at that. “Not my job, kiddo. Your dad took care of that, I hope.”

Josiah smirked and nodded. “Yeah, don’t worry. Anyway, I’m glad you’re here. I wanted to talk to you about Carson, actually.”

Walt furrowed his brows and studied Josiah. “Oh? What’s going on?”

The twenty-one year old shook his head. “He gets weird sometimes. Like if we ever talk about what happened to him, you know, with Gabriel. And I know you said he should talk to a professional. So I mentioned that, but...”

“He didn’t take to it,” Walt guessed. Josiah pursed his lips and nodded. Walt sighed a little. “He’ll come around, don’t worry. Either he’s gonna get better or he’s not. When he’s ready to talk to someone, he will. Whether that’s you, or me, or his parents, or a therapist, it’s all up to him. And it’s gotta happen at his own pace. Pushing him to face things will only backfire.”

“But it just sucks,” Josiah stated bluntly. “It hurts to see him like that. I like when he has a smile on his face. It makes me wanna hug him or something, knowing he’s happy. I feel like if he starts to get some of his feelings out there, he could be less sad all the time. Is that dumb to think?”

“No, it’s not dumb. But it still has to be on his own terms. Don’t forget that.”

Josiah looked away so he could roll his eyes. He felt like nothing Walt had told him helped. It was all things he already knew. “I guess. So, uh, what have Ayden’s doctors said lately? You know they won’t tell me or Car a thing since we’re not family,” the boy grumbled.

Walt breathed deeply and looked around at the walls he had become used to seeing as of late. “Well, she’s not getting worse, but she’s also not improving. She still responds to pain and some noises, although they say she isn’t aware of what we say.”

Josiah crossed his arms over his chest and frowned. “It’s like she’s a zombie. Except she can’t move.” Walt didn’t know what to say to that, but Josiah continued anyway. “How long do they think it’ll be until she comes out of it?”

“Josiah, we still don’t know if she will.”

“Whatever,” the black-haired boy said. “If she does, when?”

Walt rubbed a hand over his chin. “If it happens, it won’t be for a while. See, things aren’t looking too bad. Since the surgery, everything brain-wise has been perfectly fine. No seizures or bleeding or anything. It’s kind of just up to her body, I guess. The doctors say it could be anywhere from a couple weeks to a couple months to a couple years, if ever.”

Josiah bit his lip and nodded as he took in the information. Well, at least it wasn’t horrible news, he thought. Still, it wasn’t what he wanted to hear, which was that they would have a miracle and she’d be back to normal by the morning. Josiah shook his head. He wanted to laugh at himself for being so crazy.

Their conversation died shortly after that, and they made their way back to Ayden and Carson. Walt and Carson talked for a while about how things were going. Walt had to repeat a lot of what he had just told Josiah out in the hallway but he didn’t seem to mind that much. Josiah tried to remain optimistic as he flicked his eyes from Ayden’s comatose body and the men talking right next to him.

After another hour talking with Walt about trivial things, Josiah and Carson left the hospital. They stopped by the Belmont Market five minutes away from the hospital and busied themselves with an hour long shopping spree. They needed to eat for the next couple weeks, so they went all out with buying groceries that would satisfy them both.

When they got back to Josiah’s they fell right back into working on their piles of homework before they fell asleep on the couch watching a movie neither of them really got into.

By the time the next Saturday rolled around, they had easily into a routine of classes, homework, and visiting Ayden at odd hours in the afternoons. It never really got them anywhere, and they always seemed to go home a tad more upset than when they had gotten there, but they both thought it was essential to keep seeing her. They kept putting themselves in her shoes and thinking that if it were them, they would want to know their friends cared enough to visit even if they couldn’t respond.

It was after three in the afternoon, while Josiah was working on a literature analysis paper for one of his English classes, when Carson really surprised him. The brunet came waltzing out of Josiah’s bedroom and into the living room where Josiah was sitting on the couch with his laptop. The younger boy had this huge grin on his face that was so genuine, Josiah wasn’t sure he could remember a time he had seen his best friend looking so happy.

Carson’s blue eyes danced a little as he plopped down on the sofa right next to the other boy. Carson trained his eyes on him pleasantly and just smiled. He was sitting so close in Josiah’s space that the older boy could feel his friend’s body heat transferring over to him where their legs were touching and Carson’s chest was resting on Josiah’s shoulder.

A little thrown and perturbed, Josiah turned his head and regarded the smiling boy invading his personal bubble suspiciously. “Hey, Car. Why are you staring at me like that?”

Carson’s stomach was fluttering with thousands of butterflies. He knew he was probably acting like a freak at the moment, but he couldn’t make himself care. He honestly couldn’t remember ever being happier than he was right then. The broad smile felt like it was literally plastered onto his face and that it might never fade. And he was okay with that.

Somehow managing to keep from shouting it out, Carson spoke quietly as excitement bubbled in his voice. “I just got off the phone with Nicole.”

Josiah narrowed one eye a little more than the other and pulled a face. He was watching Carson warily, wondering what was going on. “Mcnally, right?”

Carson bit his lip through his smile and nodded slowly. Catching on that something very good must have happened, Josiah quickly closed his laptop and absently set it on the coffee table. He turned to face Carson so quickly that he didn’t even care that their faces were only a few inches apart.

“Dude, what’s happened?” he asked, getting excited himself now.

Carson tried to stifle the joy and pursed his lips so he wouldn’t end up screaming right in Josiah’s face. After a moment, he said as calmly as he could, “They’ve been sentenced, Joe. They’re going to prison for years!”

Josiah was stunned for a moment. His jaw dropped as his brain tried to process the bit of information he just learned. Carson squealed happily, not caring about how girlish he seemed by doing that. He grabbed Josiah’s shoulder and shook him gently.

“Can you believe it?” he said, his voice getting louder to betray how happy he was.

Josiah seemed to wake from his stupor and a stupid grin attached itself to his face. He immediately threw his arms around his best friend and pulled him tight to his chest for a bone-crushing hug. The two of them laughed, jumped, and swayed back and forth on the couch for the next half a minute.

“Oh my God!” Josiah exclaimed, pulling back from Carson to look at his face. He shook his head and pulled the younger boy right back into another hug. Carson laughed and Josiah said, “This is amazing!”

Carson turned his head and kissed the sage-eyed boy on the cheek a couple times. They eventually parted again and Carson thought he might cry from being so ecstatic. There was hardly any space between the two of them as they stayed sitting close to each other. Josiah never took his arms from around the other boy’s waist, and Carson kept his hands on the black-haired boys shoulders. His thumbs brushed over Josiah’s neck as he watched his expression.

“Tell me more!” Josiah demanded as his eyes roamed over the brunet’s face.

“They had the sentencing trial today since they took the plea agreement on Monday, and--holy shit--I just can’t--” Carson broke off, too cheerful to finish the sentence. Josiah complained, wanting to hear the rest, and the brunet laughed before continuing. “Okay, okay. Nicole said they were given a minimum sentence of ten years and a maximum of thirty. Oh, God, I just can’t believe it! They’re going to prison!”

Josiah’s smile faltered a little, but Carson dove in for another hug and missed it. The younger boy pressed his face into the other boy’s neck. Josiah tightened his arms around Carson.

“But I thought they should have gotten a maximum of life imprisonment...”

“Yeah, but they took a plea agreement. So they shortened it,” Carson mumbled against the older boy’s skin.

Josiah shivered at the feeling and tried to ignore it. “That’s not right, though. Why are you happy with that?”

The brunet chuckled into Josiah’s neck and goosebumps attacked the darker boy’s arms. “My luck they’ll get out in ten anyway so the maximum doesn’t bother me.” Having had enough of the weird feeling Carson’s lips brought, he gently pushed his friend away to look in his eyes. Carson was smiling goofily. “Let’s just be happy, okay?”

Josiah hesitated for a moment, but soon let it pass. Carson’s behaviour and smile were just too infectious for him to resist. “Okay. Whatever you want, Car.”

“Can we go out tonight?” Carson asked hastily. At Josiah’s blank stare and suddenly tense body, he faltered. In a lower voice he added, “Please? To celebrate?”

Josiah’s brow furrowed. “You wanna go out tonight? How late? If it’s dark...I don’t know.”

“I’ll be fine,” Carson tried to insist. “I’m not...not worried about it. I’ve got you, anyway.”

That just made Josiah hesitate even more. After an entire week with Carson sleeping with him in his bed and all the time they had been spending one-on-one, it had been impossible not to notice all the little things Carson did that Josiah had once overlooked. The glances and the sighs; the touches and the mutterings to himself. After his revelation at his parents’ house last Sunday, Josiah was convinced that Carson liked him at least a little.

It had almost been torture having to pretend that he knew nothing all this time. He sort of felt like he was both enabling Carson and hurting him at the same time. It made Josiah feel like a jerk to do so, but he honestly didn’t want to screw anything up, especially when they only had each other for now.

Carson tightened his hands a little and brushed his thumbs over Josiah’s collarbones, pulling him out of his headspace. “C’mon, Joe. Please?”

Josiah’s face turned stern. He narrowed his eyes and said. “Oh, don’t give me the puppy-dog eyes, Car.” The brunet stuck his lip out and batted his eyelashes. He leaned closer, getting in Josiah’s face even more. The older boy grumbled something. “Fuck you, Carson. Fine.”

Carson dropped the act right away and went back to his smiling self. “Thank you, Joe! I love you!”

The twenty-year old swooped in for another rogue kiss on the cheek and Josiah laughed before leaning further away, out of his friend’s reach. He hated to do that, though. He had been finding it difficult to pull away from Carson’s affections. It was so rare nowadays to see the brunet act so bubbly that it was nice to just go with it. But Josiah knew he shouldn’t encourage him so much if he knew he couldn’t mean it, and that was why he usually ended up backing off. He didn’t want to hurt anyone, despite what his personal feelings were about it.

“What did you have in mind?” Josiah asked.

“Nothing fancy,” Carson said quickly. “Maybe we can just go out to eat? Get burgers or something?”

At the adorably hopeful look on the other boy’s face, Josiah did something he never had before. He moved in and kissed Carson on the cheek. He didn’t know why he did it, he just loved the look on the boy’s face. He was finally happy again, and it made Josiah feel overwhelmed with pleasant emotions.

The black-haired boy was aware that they still had their arms around each other. He saw the blush attack Carson’s face, and he knew for a fact that a similar shade of red was currently building up on his own cheeks. But he didn’t draw attention to it. He couldn’t even focus on it because a strange guilt-ridden pang stabbed him in the center of his chest.

Just so they could move on, Josiah said, “Burgers are great. We’ll go down to South Kingstown later.”

Carson quirked his lips, unable to ignore what Josiah had done. He couldn’t stop dwelling on how it made him feel. He knew what he wanted to think about it--that Josiah was finally feeling something for him. But he mentally slapped himself in the face. That conclusion had to be completely wrong. Because Ayden was the person Josiah loved, and she was laying comatose in a hospital fifteen minutes away.

He sighed and realized that Josiah had already moved on and was talking about ground rules for the night. He said they couldn’t stay out too late, and that Carson had to promise that if he wasn’t doing okay, he would let him know right away.

Too distracted by the disappointment in his unrequited crush, Carson distractedly agreed to the terms and then they parted to finish off some more homework.

All the while, Josiah tried his hardest to not over analyze the blatant change in his best friend’s behaviour. Unfortunately that wasn’t very easy, and he found himself dwelling on it for the rest of the afternoon.

[text_hash] => 45d8f0c1
)