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The parking lot was almost completely full when Josiah and Carson arrived at the restaurant. The brunet felt nervous energy pooling in the pit of his stomach as he realized how busy the place was. The sun was only just starting to set and he considered he might have been stupid for suggesting they go out on a Saturday night.

He shook his thoughts off so that Josiah wouldn’t decide that they turn around and go home. The way Carson saw it, he made it this far. He could make it through a nice dinner with his best friend. There was no way anything bad could happen to them. That’s what he kept telling himself as they made their way into the busy restaurant.

Once inside the building, the boys noticed how dim the lighting was. The whole place was bustling with noise from the customers, college jocks drinking at the bar, and servers running all over the place to deliver food and checks.

“How many?” a short girl a couple years younger than them asked sharply as they approached the hostess’ stand.

“Just two,” Josiah said.

“This way,” the girl said shortly.

She grabbed two menus and instantly started to walk away. Josiah was kind of put off by her level of rudeness, but he tried to ignore it as he followed after her. Realizing it was a little harder to keep up with her than he had originally thought, he reached back to grasp Carson’s arm to pull him along. He just wanted to make sure that Carson was right there with him.

Josiah frowned when he saw that they were headed towards the very back of the restaurant. When the hostess finally stopped in front of the table, she tossed the menus down and turned to face the boys.

“Actually,” Josiah said, “is there anything closer to the door?”

Carson flushed a little as he realized why Josiah was asking that. The girl narrowed her eyes at the black-haired boy and Carson shrank back a little. He could see the irritation written all over the girl’s face when Josiah had spoken.

“No,” the girl said rather rudely. “You can clearly see how busy it is tonight. This is your table.”

Carson noticed that Josiah looked offended. Not wanting to cause a scene, the younger boy quickly said, “It’s fine, Joe. Seriously.”

“Listen to your boyfriend, dude,” the girl snapped. Carson’s blush deepened and he instantly took his arm out of his friend’s hold. “Just sit down, your server will be over in a sec.”

Josiah had to clench his jaw to keep from yelling after the girl as she stalked off. He couldn’t believe she was acting so rude to them. He could handle her bad attitude but he particularly hated the effect it had on Carson. Josiah almost flinched when his best friend had taken his arm back after the girl’s last words. He had to admit that it hurt a little to know that Carson was embarrassed by their hand-holding in public. He just couldn’t put his finger on why.

While Josiah had been glaring after the hostess, Carson slid into the booth. He glanced up at Josiah and nearly pleaded with the older boy. “Joe, please. Just sit down. People are starting to stare.”

Josiah jumped slightly. He turned to look down at Carson and his face softened. He glanced around a little and noticed that there were indeed a couple people at the neighbouring tables who were watching him. He felt his own blush begin to hit his cheeks, and to counteract this, he started to sit down next to Carson.

The brunet’s eyes widened slightly and he put a hand out to stop Josiah. His palm landed just above his friend’s hip and he shook his head. “You can sit on the other side, Joe.”

“Oh,” Josiah mumbled. He hadn’t even realized how stupid that was. Of course he was supposed to sit across from Carson. He went around to the other side and ignored the snickers from the middle-aged couple a table away. “Sorry.”

Carson sighed, brought his hand to the side of his face, and looked down at his menu. He was definitely embarrassed now. Josiah rolled his eyes at his own behaviour, knowing that he was the reason Carson couldn’t stop blushing. The black-haired boy felt bad for that and looked down at his own menu, hoping the awkwardness would fade soon.

Josiah was glad to say that fifteen minutes later, things were a hundred percent better. Their waitress was the complete opposite of the hostess, much to everyone’s relief. Conversation was flowing nicely once again between the two friend’s, and Josiah decided sitting in the back wasn’t as bad as he had thought. Yeah, they were far from the exit so they couldn’t leave quickly if Carson needed to, but they had a little more privacy once the people around them started to leave.

Their conversation had actually started to turn to what they had been like in high school. Josiah liked talking about that stuff because he hadn’t known Ayden or Carson that well back then even though they had grown up in the same town their whole lives.

“So wait,” Josiah said, looking at Carson from across the table. “You didn’t come out until after high school, right?”

Carson nodded. “Yep.”

Josiah cocked his head to the side a little. “But why? How come you didn’t do it before graduation?”

Carson snorted and stared at his friend. “You’re joking, right?” Josiah didn’t laugh. “High schoolers are weird and immature. Dudes on my basketball team would have freaked if they found out. I wouldn’t have been surprised if they beat me up a couple times.”

Josiah shook his head. “Nah, I don’t think they would have. Everybody loved you.”

The brunet smirked. “Obviously, because I’m great. But no, you can’t even say that. You never once talked to me while we were in high school.”

“Doesn’t mean I didn’t know who you were. You were a really good basketball player.”

Carson shrugged and took another drink of his lemonade to cover up his embarrassment.

“On a serious note, though,” Josiah said after a moment, “I knew of you more than I did of Ayden.”

Carson’s eyes went wide in surprise at that. Josiah had to laugh a little at the reaction. “You have to be joking this time,” the brunet insisted. The older boy shook his head, amused. “She was so pretty and loud, though. She was one of those girls back then, I only tolerated her because we’d been best friends since forever.”

They both laughed at that. It felt kind of nice to talk about Ayden this way. They weren’t being malicious or anything, they were just reminiscing. It was pleasant because for once they didn’t have to discuss her hospitalization. It was a good change in topic when they talked about her.

“You know, I kind of wonder sometimes what it would be like if we had been friends back then,” Josiah said thoughtfully. Carson paused a moment to think about it as well. “Maybe everything would have been different.”

Carson nodded slowly. “Yeah, maybe. Maybe we would never be friends now, who knows. Actually, I am kind of surprised that you never tried to date Ayden back in high school.”

Josiah furrowed his brow quizzically. His lips quirked into a half-smile. “Why do you say that?”

The brunet rolled his blue eyes but he was smiling too. “Look at the girls you dated, Joe. Blonde, blonde, blonde...oh, what was that? Another blonde?”

Josiah was chuckling a little by the time his friend was done. “Hey,” he said, playing along. “I think you’re missing a few brunettes in there somewhere.”

Carson brought his hands up, palms out, in front of his body and mocked surrender. “My bad. They were so relevant.”

The older boy smirked and pointed a finger at Carson while he laughed. Josiah grinned and said, “Okay, and what about the people you dated in high school? Let’s talk about them.”

Carson’s laughter died quickly after that. He flicked his eyes away from his friend and looked down at his fingers as they ran over the tabletop. “I didn’t date anyone in high school.”

Josiah blinked, a little dumbfounded. “Wait, seriously?”

“Uh, yeah. I didn’t like girls, so...”

“But what about guys?” Josiah asked curiously.

For some reason he couldn’t fathom that his best friend really hadn’t dated in his high school years. Maybe he was just biased because he had been popular and finding girls willing to date him hadn’t been very difficult.

Carson felt his face get hot and he still had trouble making eye contact with Josiah. He shook his head and glanced around the restaurant for something to distract him from this conversation. Unfortunately Josiah wasn’t ready to let it go that easily.

“So you didn’t even have one of those secret relationships or anything?”

Carson almost laughed at that. He finally glanced up at his friend with a strange expression on his face. He wasn’t sure if he should be offended by Josiah’s ignorance or entertained. Either way, Carson decided that the look on the older boy’s face was way too adorable to be upset with.

“No,” Carson said firmly with a small smile. “I definitely wasn’t.”

Josiah leaned forward on his elbows he had placed on the table. He narrowed his eyes a little. “But why?”

The brunet sighed deeply and shook his head. “Dude, there were no openly gay kids at our school back then. I didn’t talk to guys about whether or not they might secretly be gay. And I sure as hell wasn’t comfortable telling people that I was. So I just put it out of my mind. Dating wasn’t exactly at the top of my priority list.”

Josiah quirked his lips from side to side while he thought about that. “Hmm...But you had to have thought some of the guys were hot, right?”

Carson went very still. He was watching his friend closely. After a moment he reluctantly nodded. “Yeah, I guess. Why?”

Josiah smirked. “Oh tell me! Who did you like?”

Deciding that he knew exactly where this conversation was going to go, Carson shook his head in disapproval of the other boy’s question. “It doesn’t matter.”

“No, no. Come on! Tell me,” Josiah whined. “Did you have like a major crush on someone back then? This is so interesting, man. I wanna know who it was.”

At that moment, Carson was only hoping that his seat would open up underneath him and swallow him up. He seriously thought there had never been a more awkward conversation between the two of them than this one. Only, Josiah clearly wasn’t realizing how awkward it truly was.

Carson pulled a face and shook his head a little. “Dude, seriously. It does not matter. That was years ago.”

“I don’t care! I wanna know,” Josiah whined yet again.

The brunet saw the playful look on the older boy’s face and he wanted to slap it off. He looked way too cute for this topic. “No.”

Josiah leaned back against the booth. He put a look of resolve on his face and said, “Fine. I’ll just start guessing.” Carson blanched slightly at this but Josiah went right into the interrogation. “Was it a guy on your team? I bet it was. Did you check him out in the locker room?”

“Oh my God,” Carson groaned, slapping a hand to his face. “You are ridiculous.”

Josiah bit back a snicker. “Yo, I bet you totally did. Was he super hot or something? Hey, Car, did you, like, ever get boners in the locker room?”

Carson’s indigo eyes went wider than ever and he snapped his head up to gawp at his friend. His face had gone bright red and Josiah decided he liked the way Carson looked like that. He grinned mischievously at the younger boy.

“I bet you did,” Josiah teased.

“Fuck off,” Carson muttered, feeling slightly lightheaded from all the heat in his face. “You are so embarrassing!”

Josiah only grinned. He was finding this to be more amusing than it should have been, but he didn’t care. “Don’t be a baby, just tell me. Better yet, tell me who you were in love with...”

“I was not in love with him,” Carson snapped.

“Oh, so there was someone!” Josiah laughed giddily. “Who, who?”

The twenty year old’s face was as bright as a tomato and he considered that, yes, it was possible for people to die of embarrassment. Because right now he was so humiliated that he was ready to cross over to the other side. It was his time, he concluded. Death by an awkward situation. It seemed so fitting to him.

“It does not matter, Joe,” he muttered forcefully. “Drop it.”

Josiah sighed at that. He put as much disappointment into his expression that he could muster. He even put a little bit of hurt into his eyes. A slight pout settled on his plump lips and it was all Carson could see. Carson’s face softened a little and he had to swallow at the sight of his friend.

“Do you not trust me?”

“I--”

“Because I thought we were best friends, Car...”

Carson’s mouth gaped slightly. “I...”

Josiah leaned forward and batted his long lashes over his saddened eyes. “Please just tell me.”

Carson felt a little stunned. His determination to keep this secret forever was weakening. With that hurt look on his friend’s face, he wanted to say anything that would make him smile again.

“Fuck,” Carson said, realizing that Josiah had him pinned here. He knew what Josiah was pulling, but for some reason Carson was still going to let him win. “Joe, you don’t want to know.”

Josiah’s eyes hardened a little. “Why not?”

“Because.”

“Because wh--” Josiah cut himself off just as a thought came to him. He widened his sage-eyes a bit and stared straight at his friend. “Was it me?”

Josiah heard Carson swear and watched the younger boy immediately avert his gaze. Josiah almost wanted to laugh, but not because he thought it was funny. He didn’t really know why, but his body was trying to convince him that laughter was the answer here even though it clearly wasn’t. If he did that, he would definitely hurt Carson, and that was not an option.

Josiah pursed and bit on his lips to keep the laughter down. He watched Carson as his face reddened once again. He was squirming uncomfortably and looking at his straw wrapper like it held all the answers in life. It didn’t take a genius to know that Carson’s silence was an affirmation of Josiah’s question.

Josiah brought a hand up to twist one of his lower curls by his ear. “So, uh, you liked me?” he asked quietly, studying Carson.

Despite wanting to throw himself off of a cliff, Carson just nodded. He couldn’t even look at Josiah right now. Having him know only tripled all of the embarrassment Carson had been feeling earlier when Josiah was asking him about boners. Thinking back on it now, Carson would give anything for a time reversal so they could go back to that. And he thought that was saying a lot.

“Wow,” Josiah breathed quietly. There was a certain hint of awe in his voice. He had never even considered that Carson had liked him back then. He was pretty sure Carson liked him now, but in high school...that was just something Josiah had never thought about before. “I can’t believe you liked me.”

“Me neither,” Carson muttered.

“Hey!”

“Sorry. It’s just stupid. I shouldn’t have told you that.”

Josiah’s brow furrowed. “No, I’m glad you did.”

When he said it, Josiah realized it was true. He was glad, but he didn’t know why. Maybe it was flattering to hear that someone as amazing as Carson had a thing for him all those years ago. It was even more flattering to know that obviously the brunet still had a thing for him. Josiah sighed. He was getting ahead of himself now.

Carson glanced shyly up at Josiah who looked a little lost. “Why?”

The black-haired boy shrugged and pulled on a curl. “I don’t know. I guess it just makes sense.”

Carson froze and his heart rate spiked dramatically. “How?”

Josiah shrugged once more. Deciding to go on the playful side of this, he said, “I mean, I am a great catch, right?”

Thankfully that worked to dissolve some of the tension. Carson snorted despite himself and laughed a little. Josiah’s lips adopted a smirk that made Carson almost melt. He cursed at himself inside his head for everything he was thinking and feeling for his friend. It would have been so much easier if Josiah were an asshole or ugly or something. But he wasn’t. Josiah was virtually perfect to Carson, and that’s what made everything so irritatingly complicated.

“Sure, Joe,” Carson muttered, trying to climb out of the hole of awkwardness that he had fallen into for the past few minutes. He made himself roll his eyes even though his next words were the complete truth. “You’re a total catch. People are lucky to have you.”

Josiah smiled. He could tell Carson was still feeling weird and Josiah almost felt bad for forcing that confession out of him. But he realized that he didn’t feel bad. He was actually really pleased to hear that Carson liked him. And that thought made his stomach feel weird.

“Thanks, Car,” he said with a genuine smile. “You’re just as great.”

Carson tried to ignore the clenching in his chest when Josiah said that. He was sick of having these feelings knowing that it was going nowhere fast. So he went with his usual brassiness to answer his friend’s comment.

“I know. I’m amazing, but thanks for noticing."

Josiah only laughed, but he was really happy with where their conversation had gone. He was glad that he and Carson had talked about this. Maybe Josiah could actually confront the younger boy about his current feelings soon. He rolled his sage-green eyes at that idea. It would probably go very wrong, but who knew?

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