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It only took a few moments before Josiah was ripped out of his shocked haze. The realization that Carson was rolling off of him and vomiting was enough to make him come to his senses.

Josiah brought his phone back to his ear and he could hear Walt asking if he was still there. Completely distracted, the young man muttered how great the news was and that they would visit right away. As soon as Walt got the message, Josiah ended the call and tossed his phone away so he could focus on his distraught boyfriend.

Carson was on his hands and knees on the carpet next to the couch, hovering over his pile of sick. His head was spinning with thoughts that were hitting him so hard he felt dizzy enough to pass out.

Josiah placed a firm hand on Carson's shoulder and another on his back that he moved in a circular motion. He hoped it was making the brunet feel better, but he honestly had no clue.

"Car?" Josiah asked quietly. The other boy stayed silent save for his ragged breathing. "Are you gonna be okay?"

"Yeah," the younger boy said in a hoarse voice, not really sure if he believed it.

Josiah licked his lips nervously and nodded. "Okay, let's get you up, yeah?"

Carson obliged and allowed his boyfriend to help him off of the floor. They made their way to the bathroom where Josiah flipped the light on. The brunet sat down heavily on top of the lidded toilet while Josiah turned the shower taps on, making sure they were set to a decent temperature.

"I'm sorry," Carson muttered. He pulled his shirt over his head, feeling embarrassed and guilty about his reaction.

"Don't worry about it," Josiah said with a smile. "Just get yourself cleaned up, okay? I'll take care of the living room. Walt's expecting us at Miriam tonight..."

Carson nodded absently, standing up to push his already undone jeans off of his hips.

"Is that okay? Are you okay, man?"

Carson wiped a hand over his face and nodded again. "Yeah, we need to go see her. I just...fuck, I really wasn't expecting that. I need to see her and talk to her. I've missed her so much, I cant believe she's awake."

Josiah smiled and went to the doorway. "I almost can't believe it either. It's like a crazy dream or a miracle or something." He shook his head. "Anyway, you shower and I'll go clean up."

"Joe," Carson called right before the darker boy disappeared.

"Yeah? What's up?"

Carson smiled warmly. "Thanks. And I love you."

The older boy's stomach fluttered. "I love you too," he said quickly before retreating from the bathroom.

Even though it was almost midnight once the boys were finally ready to leave their apartment, they still decided to make the hour long drive up to the hospital. They were both more than excited to see their blonde friend. After more than three months of watching her lay nearly lifeless in a hospital bed it almost seemed too good to be true that she was supposedly awake now. They both needed to see her so badly for their own reasons.

With overnight bags slung over their shoulders, the two young men almost sprinted into the hospital they had become so accustomed to. Walt was waiting for them in the lobby and the three if them were close to tears as they took turns sharing hugs.

"So how's Ayd?" Josiah asked, getting straight to the point.

"Yeah," Carson said, buzzing with anticipation. "When can we see her?"

The joy on Walt's aged and tired face was enough to break Carson's heart all over again. It was sad to think that he was only this delighted because he had to go through hell to experience that kind of emotion.

"She's doing alright, boys," the older man said. "We can't see her yet; her doctors want to keep a close eye on her to make sure things are going according to plan. And she's so out of it, still."

"Well yeah," Josiah muttered, "she did just come out of a coma. Not many people do."

Carson frowned slightly. The truth in his boyfriend's words sat wrong with him. He didn't know what he would have done if Ayden had been on the opposite end of this statistic. He knew he would have been devastated, for sure.

Walt nodded stiffly. "Exactly. But she's only been responsive for a few hours. And she's not been awake for more than, say, fifteen minutes total."

"Is everything okay with her, though?" Carson asked carefully. "I've heard of people not being the same after a coma."

"Well it's going to be a gradual process and we haven't really heard much yet, but we'll hear more as time goes by," Walt said. He sighed happily. "I'm just relieved, though. My little girl is one step closer to being herself again."

"Don't worry, Walt," Carson said with a bright smile. he shared a glance with Josiah before continuing. "Everything will work out. After everything we've been through, it has to mean something that she finally woke up."

Walt appreciated the young man's words and drew the brunet in for another hug. "I sure hope so, kiddo." When he pulled away he looked at each of the boys standing on either side of him. Walt gestured down the deserted hallway. "Alright, I might as well show you two the lounge you'll no doubt be occupying for the next few nights. Oh, and it’s nice to see you boys again. It’s been a while."

Smiling sheepishly, and a bit guiltily as well, Josiah and Carson nodded before following after the man.

*

The first full day of being in the hospital was the hardest for everyone. The tension between Carson and Josiah was slight, but kept building as the day dragged on.

The painful realization that due to the messy situation around them, they couldn't do any of the things together that had gotten used to over the last month. That meant no kissing whatsoever, and all of the hand-holding, hugging, and prolonged touches had to be kept to the bare minimum. After all, with how close everyone already knew they were, a few hugs or touches weren't that out-there. But even so, they didn't want to attract suspicion.

For the time being things needed to be all about Ayden. It was the first night at the hospital that they boys discussed this.

Carson was just finishing a game of cards with Walt and the older man yawned, saying he was going to try and get some sleep. The brunet had smiled and nodded and watched Walt walk over to a couch and collapse onto it.

Carson fought back a yawn of his own and turned his head to look at his boyfriend whom he hadn't talked to that much since the day had begun. The brunet studied Josiah as the older boy watched a late night talk show. Carson realized Keri wasn't in the room any longer so he took advantage of the opportunity, getting to his feet.

When he walked past Josiah, he made steady eye contact, tilted his head toward the open doorway and headed over there. Carson only stood outside of the room for a few seconds before the older boy joined him.

"What's up?" Josiah asked quietly.

Carson held a finger up to his lips, signalling for the older boy to stay silent. The brunet motioned for Josiah to follow him and they started to walk down the corridor. Neither of them spoke until they were at least three hallways away.

"Carson, what's going on?" Josiah asked, desperate to figure out what was happening.

The blue-eyed young man sighed and slowed down his pace. He glanced uncertainly up at his friend and said, "This is a lot harder than I'd thought it would be." Frowning, Josiah nodded in agreement. Carson continued, "I do love you, Joe, but I think if we put us on hold for a while, it would be for the best."

Horror struck Josiah's features as his sage-green eyes went wide. The very brief thought that Carson might try something like this had crossed his mind earlier that day, but Josiah didn't think his boyfriend would actually go through with it.

"You're joking."

Carson shook his head, hating having to do this to his best friend. "I'm not."

Josiah's throat felt constricted as he tried to say something. "No...Car, please, come on. Don't do this."

The brunet quickly reached for the other man's hands and held them tightly. He tried to smile reassuringly. "This isn't a breakup. It's just some space so we can both get our heads screwed on straight."

"What are you--"

"We need to focus on Ayden for now. Think of how badly what we're doing is going to affect her. The least we could do is not give her a reason to suspect us before she can be able to deal with it."

Josiah frowned but he could see the reasoning behind the suggestion. He hated to admit that it made sense, because it hurt too much.

"I guess," Josiah mumbled.

"She's got enough to deal with right now. I don't want to make things worse for her. And you shouldn't either."

Slightly offended by that, Josiah narrowed his eyes. "I don't!" he hissed. He took his hands away from Carson's and crossed his arms over his chest. "Fine. You want a break, then we'll take a stupid break."

"Josiah, you know I didn't--"

The older boy sighed loudly through clenched teeth. "I know. Sorry, I just hate this. Everything is so wrong, which is why I get it. You and I need to keep some distance for a while. Especially if we don't want anybody else to figure it out."

Carson watched his boyfriend carefully with a frown. "Are you sure you're okay with it?"

With his irritation fading, Josiah said, "Not really, but we have no choice. She's still my girlfriend as far as everybody else is concerned, and it's completely unfair to both of you what I'm doing."

Stepping forward to close the distance between Josiah and him, Carson smiled softly. He reached his pale hands out to gently grip the older man's still-crossed arms just above the elbows.

Carson ducked his head down to catch Josiah's eye before he spoke. "We'll be okay, man. After we see Ayden and things get easier, we'll sort it out. Just...only for the next few days, alright?" Josiah nodded. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

The brunet leaned forward until their upper bodies were touching. He closed his eyes and rested his forehead on Josiah's, his breathing shallow. When Carson felt the other man uncross his arms and snake them around his waist, he shifted his face so their noses were slotted next to each other. Josiah closed the last half-inch of distance between them and pressed their lips together.

The kiss was sweet, albeit a little bitter, and it didn't last nearly long enough for either of the young men. They both seemed to understand that kissing out in the open like that wasn't the best idea--even if the hall was completely empty--and they pulled back from each other at the same time.

Josiah smiled sadly and Carson reached a hand up to stroke his cheekbone with his thumb. The brunet smiled back in much of the same manner.

They started to walk back towards the lounge. They moved in silence, hand in hand, and took their time. Who knew when the next time they got to do this was? So they relished in it.

The first time they heard footsteps, Carson took his hand out of his boyfriend's just in case it was one of Ayden's parents. Luckily, it was just a young, blonde nurse who hadn't seen a thing. She did, however, shoot Carson a flirty wink that got Josiah's blood boiling.

When Carson chuckled and winked back, Josiah stopped in his tracks. This got the brunet laughing more heartily. He reached for Josiah's hand again and brought it to his lips, kissing it gently.

"I'm gay, and I love you. Now don't worry about it."

The twenty-one year old rolled his eyes, but twined his fingers with his boyfriend's once more. As they carried on walking, they didn't see anyone again, but right before they reached the lounge that Walt and Keri were in, Josiah and Carson had to break the contact of their hands.

They shared a last glance, blues meeting soft greens in a smouldering embrace for just a few seconds. There was a certain reassurance in the brief eye contact, but even so, Josiah had to reach for his curls as they walked into the quiet room.

*

“Josiah?”

The young man in question almost forgot how to breathe when he heard his name called from across the room. For his name had just been uttered by the one person he had been worried he might never hear it from again.

His sage-green eyes were wide as they located the blonde girl lying in a bed only feet away from him. He stumbled towards her, eyes roaming every inch of her that he could see. Her face, the pale skin of her arms, her dulled, blonde hair.

Despite the fact that she had been comatose for more than three months, Ayden still looked as angelic and gorgeous as she ever had. She still managed to make Josiah’s heart stop, although, somehow the urge to kiss her and the old butterflies he used to feel around her were both gone. Seeing her, essentially alive again, he wasn't entirely sure how he felt about that.

Josiah couldn’t get over the fact that Ayden was awake and staring straight at him with those big green eyes of hers. His voice caught in his throat as he approached the bed. He literally had gone speechless. The dark young man was feeling so many emotions, he didn’t know which to recognize first. Awe, relief, joy...there were too many to count.

Footsteps sounded behind him, but Josiah couldn’t tear his eyes away from Ayden’s. He still couldn’t believe this was all real. He had begun to think he might never get to speak to her again.

Carson slowly entered the room, hesitating to follow after his friend. He was still worried that this might all just be a joke. Ayden wasn’t awake...she couldn’t be. It was too good to be true to have her back after all that time.

He knew it was real, though, because he saw her eyes wide open. They were shining with tears that had yet to fall. Then Ayden turned her head to look straight at him, and then her lips were moving. Her voice came out exactly like it had always sounded.

"Carson, oh my God," she whispered.

For a moment the brunet had to wonder if she had ever been in a coma at all. Ayden seemed far too normal. This Ayden was nothing like the unconscious one he had been forced to get used to and expect to see for the last few months.

Carson pushed passed Josiah, his eyes not even falling on the taller man. His blue eyes were completely fixated on his female best friend as he approached her side.

"I can't believe..."

"I know," Ayden said through the tears that slowly began to drip from her green eyes. Shakily, she lifted a hand and tried to grab for her best friend. "Here."

The shock filtered out of Carson's system and was quickly replaced with an overwhelming amount of happiness. His eyes filled to the brim with tears of relief and he grabbed onto Ayden's frail hand. She lightly tugged on her friend's hand until Carson was leaning over her body and they were hugging tightly.

"I missed you so much," the brunet quietly sobbed into blonde hair.

Ayden clutched onto her best friend as tightly as her weakened muscles would allow. Her green eyes that had been squeezed shut, fluttered open and she settled her gaze onto the man she loved.

Josiah was hovering uncertainly in the middle of the small room. He wanted to cry, but he couldn't yet. His hand was pulling so tightly to the hair at his scalp that it was starting to hurt, but his nerve endings weren't registering the pain. When he saw Ayden's teary eyes meet his, he froze. His hand fell out of his hair and a sob ripped its way out of his throat.

Ayden lifted a hand from the back of Carson's t-shirt and beckoned the darker man towards her. Without wasting another second, Josiah stepped forward to close the last four feet of distance between him and his best friends--his only friends.

Josiah carefully sat on the edge of the bed next to Carson, their legs pressing against one another’s. The sage-eyed man leaned forward and felt a great amount of relief course through his system when Ayden grabbed his shoulder with her slim hand. Her fingers found their way into his curls and Josiah leaned heavily into the touch.

The older man wrapped his arms around his friends, hugging them tightly as if he could sense that this was something they needed; as if he knew that without being held together, they would all fall apart in a moment’s time.

Josiah was relieved when Carson’s sobbing began to get less violent, and he could feel the brunet subconsciously leaning more into him. He felt Ayden’s hand sifting through his curls as if trying to memorize their frizzy and coarse texture like they were a part of a map. The blonde turned her face away from being pressed against the top of Carson’s head so she could press a light kiss to her boyfriend’s cheek.

Ayden never noticed the way Josiah was deteriorating on the inside. She couldn’t see the guilt in his mind or feel self-loathing that was festering inside his chest. Ayden never saw any of it because she had her green eyes closed off from it all, and even if she hadn’t, Josiah’s expression would have never betrayed a thing.

Because if there was one thing he didn’t want to do, it was to hurt his friends. It was tearing him apart and killing him slowly to know that no matter what he did, Josiah would be hurting either one of them or both. That much was inevitable.

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