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UNEDITED: Lol, I have literally nothing to say about this chapter. Sorry this chapter has soo many mistakes and no italics.

Graphic by:mahumisawesome

His brother.

Oh god could he know- did Alec tell him?

Alec wouldn't. He couldn't have.

Could he?

I look at Alec who looks just about as confused as I am. The colour had drained from his face and he was staring at the doctor in shock.

"Me?" He asks,"Why would he want to see me?"

"Well he asked for an Alec Evans and I suppose that's you?" The doctor said unsurely,"His brother- I mean step brother or whatever, I'm not sure."

"Yeah that's me." Alec says looking unsurely at me.

I stare at Alec gulping down my fear who gives me the slightest shake of his head.

But it tells me enough, Alec didn't tell Jake a thing.

I don't say anything but simply sink back into my chair trying to fight the sense of relief.

Jake didn't know.

Jake was okay.

Alec was okay.

They were both going to be alright.

Thank the gods.

"But why me?" Alec asks and he's mainly looking at me as of I somehow magically have the answer to his question.

I don't care.

I don't care who asked for whom and why. As long as both of them there are okay I wouldn't care if Orlando Bloom came in front of me wearing a dress made of Kit Kats.

Maybe if there was no dress whatsoever then...

I move forward and grab Alec by the shoulders and hug him. And I breathe out.

I really breathe out.

They're okay.

Both of them are okay.

"Thank god you're alright." I say burying my head into his shoulder.

He's rigid at first but he relaxes and wraps his hands around my waist.

I pull back hesitantly and give him a smile. It's small but for the first time I realise it's genuine. It's not a screen that I'm putting in front if him because I'm afraid of messing up or saying something in front of him that will make him hate me.

Because I've already done that. I've screwed up with him as much as one could possibly and I was going to make things right between us.

He looks at me unsurely his eyes barely meeting mine and my heart sinks.

He still hates me.

"I hate to interrupt." The doctor says,"But we really need to get started, so if you're-"

Alec cuts him off by nodding and slowly getting up. I try helping him up but he immediately pulls back and stand up, his eyes not meeting mine.

He actually hates me.

I'm still standing frozen in my spot as Alec starts moving forward towards the door. I want to call out to him and ask him what's wrong but I can feel my grandmothers gaze along with Ashley's and Rebecca's on me.

No I was not going to lose it.

Not now.

"Clara?" Alec says faintly turning back and looking at me,"When I come back, will you still be here?"

I nod thoughtlessly,"Of course."

"Okay." And then he leaves with the doctor.

I stare after him trying to form words but Ashley speaks breaking the absolutely heartbreaking silence Alec left behind,"I think you should go too, I'm sure Jake will want to see you."

I'm still staring at the doorway realising that Jake would be just like Alec. He would still hate me for everything I'd done and how I'd made sure to wreck everything.

"No." I say finally,"I'm pretty sure I'm the last thing he wants to see."

_____________

When the newly wed Evans finally arrive it's almost noon. I'd sent my grandma home with Rebecca a while back, both of whom who looked incredibley worn out.

Neither of them looked happy about it but when I begged them to and Ashley assured them that she would be there all the while both of them left.

After all even though it was Jake and Alec who had gotten into an accident they had mainly stuck around to handle the train wreck; me.

So they left and I waited patiently with Ashley siting next to me. Now that she knew Jake was okay she had a content smile and she couldn't stop talking.

I think she mainly did it to make up the lack of conversation from my part as I stayed silent trying my best to nod and smile at the things she said but nothing registered.

When Alec finally came back down, he fell asleep instantly. The doctors had said he was alright lucky in fact because he got of easy with only bruises but that didn't make him any less tired. He was worn out and slept soundly as I sat across him on the chair.

But I couldn't get myself to look at him.

Because everytime I did Jake lying on that bed listlessly came into mind followed by the thought that Alec could have been like that.

And both of them are equally horrifying, that Jake had been like that, that Jake had almost slipped through my fingers in a way that I would never be able to get him back and now Alec was slipping away too if he hadn't already but in a complete different way.

And that was all the wake up call I needed to get my shit together.

So eventually before I certifiably started losing it again I went and sat in the waiting room asking Ashley to tell me immediately if Alec woke up.

When the Evans finally arrived, Jeanine, Jake's mom was frantic while Mr Evans was much calmer.I don't think she even noticed I was there siting in the corner. I couldn't blame her, I'd been nearly the same. Even I hadn't noticed who had been in the waiting room during my initial arrival.

And it was worse for her because..... she was family, I was just some girl who was hopelessly in love with two boys.

One she couldn't have that other one who she shouldn't have.

Alec and Jake were my family but I wasn't their's because despite everything they had one of their own. One that actually loved them.

I briefly wondered what my parents would have done if I was the one who had been in the accident.

Well they wouldn't have picked up the phone, probably caught up in some meeting or another.

My grandmother though, I let myself smile a little bit at that, she would have freaked out enough for the both of them and probably would have personally gone to New York and drag them here.

After the Evans came things started moving more smoothly. Maybe it was because the doctors were more comfortable because they were family or maybe it was because of Jeanine's effortless manipulation and Mr Evans calm authority but all the tests were done in a jiffy and thankfully Jake cleared all of them.

He'd gotten off surprisingly well considering the extent of his concussion. He had no memory loss and or any side effects. None the less they would have to keep him under each for at least a few more days.

Alec on the other hand was totally cleared and could go home as soon as the discharge papers were taken care of.

And then there was the police. They had come to take a statement from both Alec and Jake.

Although I didn't hear what either of them had to say because I was still frozen in my corner in the waiting room half terrified the other half too tired to face either of them Ashley came and told me what had happened.

They were in Alec's car, coming home from the party, Lions had won 21-7 (i don't know how she knew that) and Jake was driving. Apparently it had drizzled for a little while and the roads were slippery so he lost control of the car and well the rest was history. The police had checked Jake's medical report he was perfectly sober which meant that neither of them were at fault.

I heard the story trying not to point the obvious flaws. Why on earth would Jake and Alec be in the same car together?

And why would Jake be driving Alec's car?

Different scenarios jumped through my head but I couldn't figure out why it couldn't be perfectly believable.

As to why I was questioning this horrible thing when all I should do is try to forget it.

I don't know when I fall asleep but when I wake up to Jakes mom softly nudging me awake with a cup of coffee in her hands.

She smiles, she looks exhausted but every bit as beautiful. She doesn't look anything like Jake her hair coffee in comparison to his jet black color. While her eyes are hazel in color once again matching nowhere near to the intensity of Jake's green ones.

And yet despite the fact that Jake looks almost like a photocopy of his father, he looks so similar to his mother that it's almost uncanny.

It's because of the way she smiles, I realise with a start, it's exactly how Jake looks when he smiles. His eyes light up washing away the hard edge it usually had and there is a slight crinkle in his eyebrows which he couldn't have gotten from anyone but his mother.

"Clara." She says handing me the cup which I accept. I'm faintly aware that I haven't eaten for quite sometime now and the coffee would do me a world of good but I can't bring myself to actually take a sip in the fear that I would probably throw it all up the minute an image of Jake just lying listlessly flashed through my mind.

"You don't have to wait-" She begins but I cut her off.

"I'm sorry I was just waiting for Alec to finish up." I start,"I must have fallen asleep and-"

"I know." She says,"Ashley told me. I actually wanted to ask a favour, which I really shouldn't considering all that you've already done."

And for the first time in the entire day I want to laugh.

All that I've already done?

You mean singlehandedly ruin both your son as well as stepson's life?

"I was wondering if you could go and meet Jake before you leave." She says and my mouth quite nearly falls.

"I-I really don't think he wants to see me." I manage to say,"I don't think it's a good idea."

Mostly because I'm afraid that if i go back to that room I'll probably burst out into whatever little tears I had left.

"I don't think I've had a better one." She says and then sighs,"I know you still care about Jake because I'm pretty sure I don't have a daughter who is a tall blonde, who somehow magically appeared as Jake's sister."

I turn my gaze to the floor and she says,"I'm here to actually thank you for that Clara. That you became the family he needed when I was doing such a poor job of it. I wasn't even here when he-"

She breaks off and I want to say something reassuring to her but I ran out of optimism a long time back.

"Jake wants to see you." She says determinedly,"He's won't say it out loud Clara but it doesn't take a lot to figure out that the bracelet he's clutching so tightly in his hand and absolutely refusing to let it go has something to do with you."

My heart stutters.

"The morphine probably kicked in and he's most likely to be sleeping but if it's not too much I want you to go and see him." She says slowly,"It helps."

And that's that. I can't possibly say no. Because despite all my fears that he would probably hate me, I want to see that he's alright.

I need to see he's alright.

I find myself standing in front of Room 559 in no time staring at the particularly ordinary wooden door.

For a second I think of backing down but before I can even thinking of going through with the plan I find myself stepping into the room.

I close the door behind me taking a deep breath in. It's the second time I've done it and once again I don't have it in me to open my eyes because I'm afraid that when I open them I'll see that this was all some elaborate prank and Jake was still like that, pale and unmoving on the bed.

"Clara?"

Relief floods through me as I hear his voice strong as ever and my eyes flutter open to see Jake sitting upright leaning against his pillows looking straight at me.

He's pale but much better than before and the cut above his eyebrow looks like is an angry red gash against his complexion. But despite what he's gone through, it's not managed to take away the light out of his intense dark green eyes which are currently fixed in my directiom, with so many emotions running through them that I can't possibly keep up.

He's still alright.

He's still alive.

"Clara?" He starts again but before he can finish I'm already on the ground my knees curled up into my chest.

He almost immediately leans forward panic flashing through his eyes but winces and is pushed back into the bed due to the various wires connecting him to different machines.

"Clara? Are you-"

"I thought I had lost you." I say my voice was barely coming out,"And all I could think of was just how stupid I was. How I could even think that I could do this, that I could let you go and not fall apart into pieces."

"Clara, I'm fine." He says gently and my head snaps up.

"Goddamnit I know you're fine." I more or less shout at him,"If you weren't do you think I'd be even-" I swallow trying to take in a breath.

"It's okay." He says again.

"No it's not." And once again for the hundredth time I find myself crying. But it's a good kind of crying the kind where my relief is mixed with my terror as compared to the utter despair from before.

And I'm okay with it, I'm okay with looking like a broken toy who is on repeat in front of Jake because he's the only one who I can't seem to hide the fact just how damaged I really was.

Because he saw through my act

Every single time.

"I'm okay." He repeats gently

"I'm not okay. I'm not fucking okay and I don't think I'm ever going to be okay so for god sake will you just keep your mouth shut and let me cry over the fact that you almost died?"

His lips curve into an amused smile and I manage to sniffle slightly as I say,"This is not amusing."

"I know." He says, still smiling.

"You can't possibly Jake." I say my voice shaking,"I thought that- that I'd never see you again. And the last things I ever said to you would be-" I take a deep breath in,"You may not have died but I swear to god I did. I couldn't breathe- I couldn't think I-I-"

My voice cracks horribly in the end and I once again burst into tears. Everytime I close my eyes I see him like that and it just breaks me all over again.

I know its horrible that I can't stop crying but I can't help it. It's always been a habit of mine to hold out till the last possible moment refusing to let myself to break but when I did, no amount of glue could put me back together.

"Clara" He sounds tense but firm,"Look at me."

And I do.

"Nothing is killing me right now. " He says slowly,"Nothing except watching you break down in front of me and me not being able to do anything about it."

And then before I can even think what doing I'm on my feet and my arms are around him.

He still smells like honeydew and his heart is steadily beating as I lay my head in his chest. I'm a mess, I'm sobbing, I'm crying, I'm sniffling and I hadn't even been in the accident.

God I'm pathetic.

I'm clingy to a whole new level.

And to be honest I don't give a flying fuck because he's all right.

He holds me through it all and I know he's probably hurt and I'm not doing anything to help, holding on to him so tightly but I'm afraid, that if I don't then he will slip away through my fingers.

He's okay.

He's here.

"I can't let you go." I cry,"Don't let me so this, don't let me let you go. I don't care if I'm being selfish. I don't care about the consequences, just please-please-please don't leave me. Not after-"

And I'm probably pathetic and he's going to leave me anyway after whatever I had said but at that moment I didn't care. I just needed to say it out loud.

"Don't say anything." I say calming myself and pulling away,"You don't have to say anything, I know but just let me hope, okay? Let me hope..."

I sigh turning away.

"Let me hope that I'm not such a screw up." I say slowly,"That I didnt just almost lose the both of you when you hated me so much."

"Let me hope that this time when I tell you to stay that you'll say that you will promise me that you won't go anywhere. " I say,"Let me hope that when I tell Alec what a huge mistake I made by agreeing so quickly on being his girlfriend when I knew that I was still not over you. And now I've messed it up so royally that he hates me and you hate me and he's going to leave too just like you-"

"You need to understand this, Clara." He says gently taking my chin between his fingers and pushing my head up slightly so I'm looking at him,"You're strong, you're beautiful and you're independent. And if a person is just sticking around because he can kiss you, it's not worth it. He's not worth it."

"Alec's worth more than I deserve." I say.

"That's not true." He says gently,"You deserve someone equal to you. But you're the moon, Clara, and since there is no one else that shines as bright at night you're going to have to settle for the smaller twinkling stars."

I smile,"You somehow always know the right thing to say to me to pull me back from that edge I'm always dangling over."

"I knew a girl once again who'd done the same for me." He says,"I'm just returning the favour."

I give him a small smile but it fades away.

"You're still going to go to New York aren't you?"

He gets a far away look in his eyes,"You know I have to."

"I know you do." I say,"That doesn't stop me from wishing."

"You shouldn't waste your wishes on me, Clara." He says,"Some things are just impossible change."

"It's don't know how we went from being bad for eachother to being impossible for eachother." I say quietly.

"He isn't a bad guy you know?" He says,"As much as I hate saying it he's perfect for you and he loves you very much."

"So this how it's going to be, us being friends?" I ask,"You giving me crappy relationship advice when we both know I'm going to screw up either way because unlike you people don't take very kindly when the person you're supposed to be in love with is also in love with someone else."

"Oh I want to bash Alec's face." He says cheerfully, "It's just that I have exceptional acting skills."

I raise an eyebrow subsequently giving him a look,"How much morphine are you on?"

"Definitely more than I should be." He says,"I mean I don't sprout so much of cheesy shit on a regular basis. Besides I would have a lot more control over my damn mouth and tell you to leave because that would be the right thing to do."

"Since when does Jake Henderson do the right thing?" I ask.

"Ever since he met Clara Wilson." He says sincerely.

I look at him wordlessly trying to connect my mouth to my thoughts but I'm failing miserably.

Oh Jake, how am I supposed to fall out of love and just let you go to New York when you say things like that?

"Come here." He says patting the empty place next to him.

"Don't be ridiculous you're hurt-"

"Clara." His voice leaves no room for negotiation and before I know it I slide into the bed next to him, my head resting on his chest, right above his heart.

"Does this hurt?" I ask him.

"When it comes to you everything hurts." He says,"But nothing compared to when you're not there."

And that's when I realised just how much the morphine had kicked in. It had broken through all the layers to show a part of Jake that was innocently childish and brutally honest.

The kind that he hid from everyone, the kind if I stuck around for longer I would get to see.

You know what's the funniest thing about this situation, is that if Jake didn't love me as much as he did as I would be able to have him.

If he didn't love me then he wouldn't leave.

And somehow knowing that and not being able to stop it is the worse.

I sometimes wished that there was no complications. There was none of this Eric crap going on and sometimes I wondered what would happen if I wasn't in love with Alec.

But the thought of not having Alec hurts way too much to think about it. Which is why I had held on so desperately to both because I could let go of neither and now I was slowly but surely losing them both.

"Clara?" He says softly.

"Yeah?" I ask closing my eyes and listening to his heart beat steadily.

"I know this is going to sound stupid." He says,"But when I was unconcious were you in the room talking to me?"

I raise my head to look at him,"Of course I was. The bracelet didn't walk on its own now did it?"

"Hmm." He says thoughtfuly and I brace myself wondering what he would say next.

"It took you four years to figure out what my favourite color is, huh?" He says smirking slightly,"I mean come on Car I thought you were smarter than that."

My heart flutters when he calls me by the name he used in camp. It's been so long since he's called me that, that I didn't realised just how much I missed it.

I put on small smirk"You know everytime you say something like that I want to punch you into another dimension right?"

"And here I thought you cared about wether I lived or died." He says mockingly.

"Well considering the fact that I blackmailed some poor hospital intern that I was your sister so she'd let me see you." I say slowly,"Id say it was a pretty safe bet that I cared just a little bit."

"You pretended you were my sister?" His eyebrows were raised in a questioning horror.

"Well apaparently ex who is currently dating step brother doesn't qualify as family."

He gives me a flabbergasted look,"B-but you're nowhere near to looking as adorable as I am."

I roll my eyes and we lapse into a comfortable silence.

"You know before you came I has such a boring life. I don't know how managed to do it Jake but you came in like a wrecking ball and crashed through everything that I thought was right."

There is silence for a moment before Jake bursts out laughing. And he's laughing so hard that he's gasping for breath and wincing but he's still not stopping.

"Jake what the hell is wrong with you?" I say,"You're hurting yourself."

But he's still laughing so much so that there are tears in his eyes.

"It's just that the image." He says between breaths,"The image of you picturing me butt naked on a wrecking ball."

I state at him wordlessly for a second before bursting into laughter. And I'm laughing so hard despite everything that's happened in the course of one day amazes me.

How Jake can do that make me cry and laugh at the same time. I don't how long I laugh for but it feels good to let it all go, to cry because you're happy despite everything that was going on.

And once after forever has passed I get my self back into my potion, my head right above his heart.

"Jake will you call me Car more often?" I ask.

"Whatever you want Car."

I smile and once again we lapse into a comfortable silence with my head right above his heart.

"Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"Why do you keep my bracelet with you?"

"You already know the answer to that."

"But I want to hear you say it."

"I'm still going to have to leave, Car."

I stay silent.

And then finally after I'm almost sure that Jake is asleep I say,"Jake?"

"Hmm?" He responds sleepily.

"Thank you for being alright."

He smiles sleepily,"I promised you didn't I?"

And he squeezes my hand. Twice.

______________________________

I don't know how long I stayed there after Jake fell asleep. But when I came down I realised it must have been quite sometime because when I went to Alec's room he'd already left.

Jeanine immediately told me that Mr Evans had taken him home and I felt terrible for not being there when I had told him I would.

Jeanine in turn assured me that Alec was barely awake when they took him back home so I could just as easily go home and meet him.

She offered me her car, she was going to be in the hospital for sometime anyway and I accepted it not wanting to bother my grandma.

And then she hugged me.

She hugged me and said thank you before rushing off to finish of some paperwork.

I stood there for a moment shocked and swaying on my feet realising that I should have probably told her that it helped me more than it helped her but at that point I was too dazed and tired to actually take action.

So I went home, thankfully her car had a chauffer because or else I would have surely gotten into an accident and to be perfectly honest I think I had enough of accidents to last me a last time.

When I finally reach home I want to see Alec but I'm aware that if I even try to stay on my feet right now I was going to collapse.

So I promise myself that I'll see him tomorrow and drag my feet across the driveway.

I have to lean against the door and close my eyes for just a second so that I don't collapse on the spot as I reach for my keys.

I don't know what must have happened but the fact that I might have fallen asleep against my front door was a very high possibility because when the door swung open in full force I promptly lose my balance and fall on the carpet of my house looking at a pair of very pointy heels.

At first I think it's my grandmother but then common sense kicks in saying that she would never wear those death traps.

But if it wasn't-

No way.

No fucking way.

I look up to see who had opened the door but I know before I even see her face who it is.

"Hi sis." Michella says smirking,"Miss me?"

__________

AUTHORS NOTE: (again skip if you want just read the two huge paras)

Author: Lol can we classify that as a cliffhanger?

Michella: As in people who want to jump of a cliff because of your grammar then yes.

Clara:*turns to author* why? What have I ever done to you?

Author:*shrugs apologetically* I'm sorry?

Rebecca:*yells to readers* this is going to be fun, Who wants popcorn? I have caramel, cheese and salted.

Author: Well things are going to get spicy so....

Clara:*rocks back and forth* This is not happening, this is not happening.

Readers: I think you broke her.

Clara: Oh we passed the I think you broke her phase twenty two chapters ago. *turns to author* I'm going to kill Michella

Michella:*narrows eyes* I'd like to see you try.

Author:*stands in between* Guys guys save it for the next chapter

Jake: Rebecca I want cheese and caramel, preferably with Jell-O shots.

Author: you almost died, how shameless are you?

Jake:*munches popcorn* But I didn't, and you didn't become a murderer. What I don't get is why in gods name would I want to see Alec after all that? I mean just how hard did I hit my head?

Author:*shrugs* How am I supposed to know? It's your head, be happy I didn't make you get amnesia or kill you by pulling a Denny from Greys Anatomy.

Jake: *sarcastically* Oh wow thanks for not killing me

Author:*smiles* that's better, you are very welcome. Now as to why he asked for Alec while a lot of you were like why not Clara, we want clara.

Guys this book is clichè as crap but who said just because something is Clichè it has to be predictable to?

Jake:* That's basically her way of saying that she misspelled Clara's name and wrote it as Alec and now she has to stick with it.

Author:Hey! I actually have a plan for this book.

Jake: do you? Do you really? Like you did just burn both the ships in the book. And I'm sorry but Jake Henderson doesn't do friends.

Clara:*glaring at Michella* Will you guys shut up while I come up with a good way to plan a mass murder here?

Author: Okay I get you wanting to kill Michella, Jake and Alec but what did I do?

Clara:*turns slowly and glares at Nylla*

Author:*shrinks back* Never mind. You're really scary now days.

Clara:*takes out a machete*

Author: Oh come on! and you call me a show off? Couldn't a simple knife suffice?

Readers: Even knife threats don't get you to update fast.

Author:Remember killing me means you will never know what happens next.

Rebecca: Damn, does anyone know where to hide a chainsaw I purchased on EBay?

Author: *looks up at the sky* oh good lord What monsters have I created?

Michella: Hey watch who you're calling a-

*Author snaps fingers and they all disappear* finally some peace.

So anyway sorry that I haven't been able to answer to a lot of your inbox messages, so the best way if you guys want to ask absolutely anything or if you want to have a conversation best way to do so is through my ask.fm account where my username is @nyllacamphry. But if you want to send really long private ones or any graphics then just email it to me at nyllacamphry@gmail.com I will reply to them a 101%

One more thing so because I've got overwhelming feedback regarding entering this into the Wattys so I actually have. So if you guys can just share a link of this book and add a #mywattyschoice with it on twitter it would be big help. And yes it will get me to update faster.

*snaps finger and Jake appears with a popcorn bowl in his hands.*

Jake: You're going to have to break up the fight in the backroom. I'm keeping tally and it's currently 2-3.

Author:*grabs some popcorn* Whose 3 and- *stops and clears throat* What I mean to say is that's very bad and go hurry up and say the vote line. *murmurs* I can't have my characters killing themselves outside of chapters.

Jake: So don't forget to comment, vote and tell is what you think about the chapter.

Next update: Next Monday/Tuesday. Early update maybe this Friday or Saturday?(there is another chapter after this)

Love you guys,

Nylla.

*Clara from the background* Ha! I knew it she didn't have perfect hair. Extensions, I'm going to rip the rest-

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