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*Dedicated to Luna89 for being the first to leave a comment! Thanks!! :D:D*

Chapter 7

It was almost impossible to accept just how easily time went on in the skinny boy house. Before I knew it, a week and a half passed. I was convinced that time moved faster when you were surrounded by people who shoved food down your throat, forced you to weigh daily, and then talk about why you were so very, very unhappy. 

There was nothing like being treated like cattle lined up to be fattened to bring out the best in you. 

I yawned, more out of annoyance than boredom, as the nurse who lived in the house with us wrote down my new weight in her chart that was labeled with the word process scribbled on the back in large black letters. The nurse was a tall, thin woman who had graying blonde hair that she kept in a tight bun plopped on the middle of her head. She once told me to call her Agatha, or something along those lines; it was hard for me to remember a name that I only heard once.

Nonetheless, Agatha, or whatever her dang name was, went through her usual routine. After she scribbled my weight down, she glanced down at me, barely meeting my eyes. “You’ve gained four pounds, Max. Congratulations.”

My stomach twisted in knots as I did my best to smile like her words were good news when in reality, all I wanted to do was fall to the floor in complete defeat. 

“You’ve improving so quickly,” she mumbled more to herself than me. “Really well, actually.” She almost sounded surprised.

I nodded as I pulled my oversized sweater over my head. “Thanks, I guess.”

Ignoring me, she went on, “I’ll make sure to report your results to Ruth. I’m sure she’ll be pleased.” The nurse yawned and lifted the watch on her wrist to her eyes. “On your way out, send Richard in. Please and thank you.” 

Blinking a few times to myself, I realized that Agatha dismissed me. I finished buttoning my pants on my way out. I’m sure the nurses attitude and general distance from everything around her would have bothered me if I had the capacity to think of anything other than the amount of weight I gained in such a short time.

When I opened the nurse’s door, Rich stood on the adjacent wall with an eyebrow raised. “How’d ya do?” He asked with a smile creeping on his lips.

I rolled my eyes. “None of your business.”

Rich laughed loudly as he pushed himself from the wall. “That bad, huh?”

Blowing out a breath, I nodded. “I thought I was doing a good job at not actually gaining weight. I mean, I knew it was going to happen, but I’ve only been gaining, like, a pound every two days.” I sighed. “I prepared myself for that, but I didn’t prepare to gain so much at one time.”

Rich put a hand on my shoulder, and for a split second, he held a sympathetic look in his eyes before he blinked it away. “I’m so glad I don’t have that problem,” he gleamed. 

I shrugged from his touch. Rich was the type of guy that you loved to hate, and, Oh, how I loved to hate him. Despite his attitude and general arrogance, there was something about Rich that captivated me. I felt like if he and I had met later in our lives, we would have been pretty good friends.

“Have fun gettin’ fat!”

Then, Rich would open his gaping hole that made me want to punch him in his stupid face. I narrowed my eyes at him as he practically skipped into the nurses office. I shot him a mental middle finger before I began back to my room.

Sulking through the house, I made it to my room to find Steven plopped in the middle of my bed. Over the past few days, he became something of my shadow. He always seemed to be where I was. I didn’t mind it; I actually found an odd comfort in his constant presence. 

I appreciated how much he cared about me; it was a nice change of pace. 

“You look a little rough, Max. You ok? How did your little meeting with the nurse go?” Steven shot his questions at me as he leaned up from the bed. The sun was already making it way behind the landscape, darkening the room. Despite the fleeting light, Steven’s pale eyes shone brightly.

Shrugging, I fell onto the bed, finding my nook next to Steven and resting my head in his lap. Instantly, his hands went to my hair. He ran his fingers through the stubble protectively. “It went well even though I’m getting fat.” I pouted.

“You’re not getting fat, Max!” Steven snapped all too quickly. 

I lifted my eyes, meeting his serious stare. Something about the way his eyes twinkled shattered the last remaining grip I had on myself. I tried to smile as tears welled behind my eyes. As tears trailed down my cheeks, I came to the realization that no matter what, I as going to gain weight at the skinny boy house. 

I couldn’t help but smile at how ironic that was.

The skinny boy house, where skinny boys come to get fat.

I supposed it never donned on me that I would actually gain weight here. My brain must have skipped that part while I mentally prepared for this wretched place. It was still funny to me that I thought I wouldn’t gain weight at a live-in clinic for boys battling eating disorders.

Steven wiped away my tears with his thumb as he pulled me effortlessly to his chest. “You’re the most beautiful person I have ever met, Max.”

A thousand doubts crossed my mind as Steven spoke. How could he think I was beautiful when I thought I was nothing more than a giant, fat, gross pathetic excuse of a human being? 

No one will ever love you, mocked my mind.

I buried my face into Steven’s chest. My fingers balled into fits around the loose fabric of his shirt.

I hated myself.

I hated everything about myself. 

No one would ever love me.

I’m pathetic, I thought. I just want to be perfect; I just want to be good enough for everyone else. 

You’ll never be good enough, my internal voice whispered, and I believed him.

“Hey,” Steven began softly, “smile.” His words were so simple and followed with a gentle smile of his own. He went on to say how everything would get better.

Honestly, I wanted to believe him; I desperately wanted to believe this wonderful boy in front of me; however, I couldn’t. My worst nightmares were becoming a reality.

I had no control over anything anymore; I couldn’t even control my own weight anymore.

As if on Steven’s command, I sucked it up, and smiled weakly up at him. 

“See,” he trailed his thumb down my cheek, “all better, right?”

No!

NO!

“Yes,” I lied. “We still have some time before dinner.” I couldn’t even handle thinking about food, so I moved on quickly. “How much time do we have before we have to go to our classes?”

Classes at the skinny boy house felt all too closely to actual school. We had homework, essays, and a strict teacher to top it all off. I had to admit that, despite my hatred for homework and all that follows school, it did provide a nice distraction from everything else in this cursed place.

Steven glanced at the small alarm clock on the nightstand. “Right around twenty minutes.”

I sighed. “What’cha wanna do until then?” I hoped for some sort of distraction, something that would take my mind off my weight and maybe make me feel a little better. A nice walk through the courtyard sounded nice.

Steven smirked devilishly as he slowly lowered his face to mine. Our lips touched lightly; however, the kiss didn’t remain lightly for long. 

Before I knew what I did, I crushed my lips to his, clawing his body closer to mine. Steven reacted without hesitation, the kiss deepened, and his hands traveled down my back. His touch was just the distraction I needed, and I focused solely on that.

With my eyes pressed tightly, I pushed out all other thoughts from my mind. As Steven and I touched and tasted each other, my mind cleared from the chains that constantly drug me down into the bottomless hole that consumed my each and every thought.

All I wanted was a distraction, and a distraction was exactly what I got.

I clawed at Steven’s clothing until I managed to pull his shirt over his head. A low growl escaped his lips as my hands traveled over his bare chest. He caught my lip in his teeth as my nails found the tender flesh on his back.

Steven pushed us backwards until he was on top of my body. His kisses traveled from my lips down my neck. 

My breath hitched as he nibbled on the delicate skin just under my chin. He yanked my sweater over my head and returned his lips to mine without missing a beat. I found myself lost in his skilled touch. Every time our flesh met, I sank deeper into bliss, away from all my troubles.

I just need a distraction.

A distraction.

That’s all I’ll need to feel better.

Keep me distracted; keep me distracted.

Steven continued his kisses down my chest, causing an uncontrollable moan to slip into the air. “Shh,” he cooed, returning to my lips. “Let me make you feel better,” his words were like wisps of warm sunlight around my face, and maybe, just maybe, I would have noticed the desperate sadness in Steven’s eyes as he spoke. “All I want is for you to feel better.”

“Make me feel better,” I begged quietly.

As Steven’s hands traveled down my chest, meeting the spot under my belly button where my jeans started, I should have noticed the few drops of water that dripped onto my body.

Too in the moment, I paid them no attention, but as time would go on, I would soon learn that those tiny, tiny droplets were Steven’s tears.

I would soon find out that I wasn’t the only skinny boy who had a sadness tearing away at everything inside him.

A sadness that ripped at, tore away everything you could ever even attempt to like about yourself. 

I moaned loudly as my distraction’s mouth found my body. If I wouldn’t have been so consumed by the way he felt around me, I would have noticed just how many tears trailed down Steven’s eyes.

As the ecstasy in the air began to calm, I curled against Steven in utter satisfaction simply listening to the rapping of his heart. My body was a sweaty mess, and as the air cooled the dew that littered my body, I became increasingly aware of my exposed body. As the awareness grew, so did my self conscious.

I pulled my sweater back over my head and buttoned my pants, quickly returning to my place on Steven’s chest.

“Do you feel better?” Steven asked rather breathlessly. 

I met his desperate eyes. “I do,” and I did despite how that feeling fleeted away so quickly.

Steven exhaled deeply. “All I ever want is for the ones around me to be ok.” He sighed once more. “During my first stay, I made sure the other boys felt ok too. Look where that got me,” he whispered sadly. “They all got out, and I couldn’t hold myself together anymore. As the other boys were packing their bags and leaving me, I was too busy having a major relapse.” He laughed cruelly as he absent mindedly ran his fingers through my hair. “I never worry about myself; I always put everything out there, and they all just use me and then abandon me.”

I listened silently to his confession, nestled closer to Steven, my rock. All the while, I didn’t even think that I did the exact same thing as the other boys in his life.

I didn’t even notice that I used Steven as my own little distraction.

“I’m not going anywhere, Steven.” I smiled up at him. “Let’s stick together; it’s going to take both of us to survive this damn place.”

He nodded silently. “We better get moving. Mrs. Taylor won’t like it if we’re late to class.” With that, Steven kissed the top of my head, pulled his shirt back over his head, and left without glancing over his shoulder.

In that moment, I never felt more alone confined within the sterile white walls of the skinny boy house. I glanced around my empty room and wrapped my arms tightly around my own chest.

It was funny how used the user felt.

Agatha, or whatever her name was, spoke the truth. After the boys and I finished class, on that day, we focused on English and wrote a couple short, timed essays, we filed into the Kitchen. Before I could even sit down, Ruth stepped in with a smile as wide as the Nile painted over her face. “Everyone, I wanted to let you all know that Max has been doing so well that he’s been promoted to the next level in the system.” She patted me gently on the shoulder. “You’ll be able to eat outside without supervision now.” She turned to Steven and smiled brightly. “You’ll finally have company.”

Rich and Geoffrey shared an eye roll. 

“Um,” I began awkwardly, “thanks, I guess.” I found myself staring at my feet. It never really donned on me that out of the other boys, Steven was the only one that had privileges. 

The most unusual feeling crept over my skin as I carried my plate through the house and into the courtyard. It was almost the feeling of freedom.

Controlled freedom.

I followed closely behind Steven as he led me through the crisp air to a wooden bench that sat under a large tree. He sat down silently and slowly began to eat his meal. I sat next to him and sighed deeply as I glanced down at my meal.

I made a mental note to ignore what was actually on my plate and just eat the stuff.

Steven remained unnaturally quiet as we ate, and I did my best not to let it bother me, but after a few deafening silent moments, I sat my plate beside me and pulled my knees to my chest. “What’s on your mind?”

He shrugged without glancing down at me. “I’m just tired,” he added with another shrug.

I clewed on my bottom lip as I stared up at him. I wondered to myself if Steven regretted what we did in my room. Feeling incredibly self conscious, I opened my mouth to speak but hesitated.

“I’ve never done anything like that before,” I began quietly as my cheeks began to burn. “Is that why you’re being so weird?”

Steven finally met my eyes and smiled. “Really?”

I nodded as my cheeks burned even brighter. “Really. Really.” 

He nudged me with his elbow. “I’m sorry, Max; I’m just distracted. It’s been awhile since I’ve done any of that either. I guess it just put me in a weird place.”

“How?” I asked genuinely interested. 

Steven opened his mouth to speak, and for a moment that lasted no longer than a lightening strike, it appeared as if Steven wanted to open up to me. It was the first time that I truly noticed the depth in his pale eyes.

On the surface, they were the softest, kindest eyes I ever gazed into, but just under that brilliant surface, there was a sadness that hid in its farthest depths. 

Steven blinked and smiled down at me. “Don’t worry about it.” Before I could push farther, he changed the subject. “We better hurry up and eat. Just because we aren’t under supervision doesn’t mean the big boss lady won’t wonder what’s taking so long.

I nodded and turned my attention back to my food. As we ate in near silence, I leaned against Steven and found myself wondering just what hid behind his soft eyes. What could such a nice and warm boy be hiding so deep within himself?

I resisted the temptation to sigh. As I ate, I felt the familiar feeling of despair creep up my spine. Just because time seemed to move faster didn’t mean that I could adjust so easily.

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This chapter is a little shorter than the others, but I hope you all enjoy it. This chapter exists for a single purpose, and I have to wonder which ones of you are going to pick up on it. :D 

As always, please take the time to let me know below what you thought of the chapter. Also, votes are always appreciated. It helps me get noticed. (:

I apprciate all of your support, and I wish there was a better way for me to convey just how much you all mean to me! Thank you!

Next chapter is in the works already ;D

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