Chapter 10: Chapter nine

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Hello everyone, its a new chapter, yay! However, this chapter is shorter than usual, unfortunately. I will make sure the next chapter is longer. Plus, it will be an exciting one, one that makes you want to read the next chapter, were the fun begins. I'm making you all curious now aren't I. ;D

Anyways, hope you enjoy this chapter!

Picture of Mrs. Fernandez, Nathan's mom, to the >>>>>>>>>>

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Nathan's P. O. V.

I have never before loathed myself this much, even when I had endured all the hardship that happened in my past, I hadn't hated myself as much as I did at this moment.

Those words that I had spoken to Aiden, those harsh, untruthful words, had torn me to pieces, and I can only imagine what Aiden was feeling right now. And the sucky part was that I hadn't meant any of it, yet I had spouted those lies as if I had.

I couldn't tell you the reason for my actions. Why didn't I just speak the truth? Why didn't I just tell Aiden how I really felt towards his confession: that it actually made me feel really happy to hear him say such a thing? To be perfectly honest with myself, I believe I have been waiting for him to say that to me from the moment I met him; that he loved me.

And, I, despite everything that's happened between us, still love him just as much as the day I first saw him.

How this was possible was a mystery to me. You'd think I would despise him with every fiber of my being because of what he put me through, and I had thought I did hate him that much, but it must have all been a lie on my part. I must have been masking my true feelings with thoughts of revenge, ignoring them and pretending those feelings weren't ever present to feel better about myself.

If I no longer felt this way towards him, if I used my anger for what he did to drive away these feelings, then I can move on and never have to think about him and my past regrets, is what had been my motive for doing what I did at the time, seeking revenge after years of trying to convince myself that I hated Aiden that is.

But obviously that mindset did not go in my favor, as I've once again found myself in such a predicament.

And it was frustrating really, that my feelings for him did not dwindle one bit during our separation, but, in fact, seemed to have grown immensely. Now it was nearly impossible to hide my feelings for him, and he wasn't helping with his constant pursuit either.

I just want to live a normal life again, without him to interrupt my peace. But this is asking too much, isn't it, as it has continuously been getting increasingly harder to say no to Aiden.

My resolve has been flattering. I've let him influence me so much, to the point where I've dropped my guard and he has taken that to his advantage to get closer to me and confuse me, make me doubt what I was doing, make me feel hope for things that may never come true: a life together with Aiden, like I once wished for.

Even today, to think I would let that happen!

Earlier events invaded my mind and a light blush stained my cheeks as I remembered that kiss. I could still feel the lingering touch of his lips on mine, they tingled from the aftereffects.

I lightly brushed the tips of my fingers across my lips and frowned.

To think I had almost lost myself so completely to him because of a single kiss, it was bewildering, the effect he had on me. I had been this close to going against what I had promised myself.

I had told myself I wasn't going to let him do this to me, play with me like this like before, and yet I'm just going along with his flow as if he had the right to mess with me. Yes I've realized my feelings for him, but that didn't mean I should let him take control of me and my actions.

I hadn't stopped him from kissing me, even though I had seen it coming. In fact, I had allowed it to happen, I hadn't even put much effort into warding him off, more like almost surrendered to my past desires.

And what of his confession?

Were his words true, or was he lying when he said that he loved me?

My mind believed one thing, while my heart the other.

He must have been lying, my mind tried to convince me of. My luck wasn't that good that Aiden would just magically come to his senses and realize he actually had those kinds of feelings for me. Those words must have just been a big ploy, a trick to win me over so that he can later screw me over when he betrays me.

Images of Aiden laughing in delight as my spirit crumpled to the ground, never to be revived again, filled my head, and a pang pierced through me at the thoughts, knowing that there was a high possibility of that happening.

And yet, my heart seemed to disagree with this wholeheartedly.

But he had looked so serious when he had said it, my heart insisted. Plus there was the proof that he has changed his ways, maybe he really did discover those feelings after the fact and has since then been waiting for me to come along so that he can reveal this to me, maybe as a way to sooth past regrets as well, but hopefully not out of pity.

I couldn't pick which one to believe in: logic, or emotions, which one was right?

I squeezed my eyes shut and wrapped my arms tightly around myself, not at all liking the pressure put upon me at the thought of choosing either solution.

What if I make the wrong decision?

I could only guess at the consequences that would soon follow.

If I chose to believe in his words and they turn out to be untrue, then I'll wind up with a broken heart again, one I'll never recover from. I'll end up suffering from the mistake for the rest of my life, but if I chose to not believe in his words and walk away from Aiden when he had meant what he said, then I'll end up missing out in life and regret the decision for the rest of my life as well. I would never get over it.

However, if I did say yes to a relationship and Aiden's words turned out to be truthful, then I'll live happily with the one I love, blissful and basked in warmth. And if I said no while knowing his words were wrong, then I would save myself from major heartache and a bleak future.

There really was no telling which option to chose from, because either one could end up benefiting me, or destroying me, a fifty percent chance, a guessing game is what this was.

The risks were high either way.

And unfortunately for me, whatever the case may be, the answer was still unclear, and until it was, I will not act upon his actions, nor will I give him the reply to that confession.

This was the only safe bet until I've gathered more information on the matter.

I breathed out and rubbed at my aching temple, my mind finally made up after hours of debate. I felt worn out from it all, all the stress this boy has been putting me through lately. It was madness.

My stomach growled and I blinked and looked over at the clock, and realized that it was almost time for dinner. I had been so caught up that time has flown fast. The day was nearly over, and I can only thank that it was the weekend tomorrow. I'll be able to rejuvenate and prepare myself for what's to come, because I know for a fact that Aiden was not finished just because of those words I had said. I'm sure he's going to bounce back and come after me once again like never before.

A small smirk spread along my face from the thought, and I couldn't help but feel anticipation for this future prediction.

It seems I actually enjoy his pursuit more than I let on.

I shook my head at myself and slid off my bed, then headed downstairs to occupy my mind with something else. As I descended the stairs, the smell of cooking food invaded my senses, and yet again my stomach growled with hunger.

I quietly shushed it and strolled inside the kitchen, where my mother was hard at work, cooking my favorite meal of hers: spaghetti.

"Hello mother," I greeted and she glanced over he shoulder at me, surprise in her eyes, which soon turned to delight.

"Nathan," she greeted with a warm smile, "glad you could join me. Can you do me a favor and set up the table?"

"No problem," I replied and walked over to grab some placemats out of the drawer. "Will father be joining us?" I asked before grabbing one too many of them.

"No, not this time, he has to stay late at work. He won't be off till ten," mother looked disappointed by this. It was only understandable, she loved the fool to death, and hated every minute they were apart.

I was always envious of this.

Their kind of relationship was one I've always aspired to have, it was pure and long lasting, a true love to the T. They've been together for ages, and I don't believe anything can separate them, not even themselves, as they never seem to tire of each other.

Whenever I see them together, I just can't help but be jealous of what they have.

"Well then, we'll just have to save him a plate now won't we," I said and went to set the table. Just as I finished mother came out with two plates full of spaghetti and placed it on the placemats, and just as were about ready to sit down and dig in, the doorbell rang.

The two of us turned our heads towards the direction of where the noise had come from, the front door.

All was silent for a few seconds before the doorbell rang once again.

"Hmm, that's weird, I wasn't expecting anyone to come visit this late at night," mother mused with a frown.

I became suspicious as well, and wondered who it could be.

"I'll go see who it is," I said and walked over to the front door. As I neared it, a bad feeling went through me until I dreaded opening the door.

This feeling, its one I recognized, and I could only hope I was wrong as to what it meant as I unlocked the door and turned the door knob and opened the door to whoever it was waiting behind it.

My face drained of color and I swallowed hard as my eyes landed on who it was that had come bothering us at this moment.

You have got to be kidding me, I thought, completely and utterly dumbstruck.

"Aiden?!"

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Ohhhhh, what could be his reason for being there, you can only guess right? To bother Nathan, duh. What else could be the reason? Aiden, you're so damn persistent, lol. Leave Nathan alone! Jk. ;p

Anyways, V/C/F!

Until next time, peace out! :)

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