Array
(
[text] =>

Hii guys,

Its been a while, wellll holidays are over for me >< Anywayyyy, this is CHAPTER *drum rolls* #10!!!!!!! OMGG are u excited?? I AM!!! Welll yeah guys, i have another celebration to announce, 1000 reads!!!  is that a big accomplishment or what, LOL, thanks for the support wattpad peps. im proud of you *wipes away tear* hope you like this new chapter, although i dont partically like it hah

Myparadise15 :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 10

Confessions and Realisation 

I was not going to school today and no one is going to make me. I curled up in my blankets, trying to fall back asleep. I groaned as someone pulled back the curtains letting the sunlight stream in, swiftly pulling the covers off me. 

"Stop" I moaned, going back to my comfortable position. I didn't want to risk seeing Xavier and I didn't want to have to talk to anyone. I was too cold, I couldn't fall back asleep, I squinted and I saw Sienna leaning against the wall across from my room. "I don't want to go to school" I whined, snuggling with my pillow. As my thoughts drifted to Xavier, I frowned and pushed the pillow away from me. I rolled onto my side and pouted, crossing my arms across my body.

"Come on Aiden, you can't stay in bed all day" she reasoned in a lecturing tone.

"Please Sienna, just today" I countered, pleading her with my eyes.  

"Fine, I'll let you off this one time, don't tell mum or dad though" she stepped towards me and wrapped me in a tight hug. I sighed and hugged her back, "You'll be ok, bro".

I nodded, as she left the room, waving as she left to go to school. I reached over to my desk and got my phone and laptop. One new message, I tentatively clicked it open. "Don't what, hug or see me?" I grimaced slightly, one worded answers are not a good way to reply. But I turned off my phone without replying and changed to my laptop.

I logged into various sites and just settled in to surf around, plugging in my earphones I started playing my favourites playlist. I scrolled through my dashboard on tumblr and smiled and smirked at the posts, reblogging some that I liked. I read a few chapters of this book on wattpad and checked my horoscope. "Don't let people get you down, you will bounce back in no time, everything will work itself out, don't let it worry you, you will be ok" Hopefully this horoscope tells the truth.

Pretty soon, I fell asleep.

I felt warmth, I opened my eyes and the sight made me teary. It was of Sophie and Xavier kissing. They were rubbing it in. I turned away, I frantically tried to change my emotions to a happier state, but to no avail. My eyes drifted back to them, but it seemed that Sophie had disappeared leaving just Xavier. I gapped slightly.

He moved closer with an unreadable facial expression, I moved away from his reach. I didn't need his sympathy or anything else for that matter. I held my knees to my chest and faced away from him. I sensed him approach me from behind, then his arms appear around me. The tears were dropping freely now, I turned around and hugged him tightly to me. I buried my head to his chest. I looked at him blurry eyes, I mouthed I love you and he kissed me. I smiled and I drifted onto cloud nine.

I woke up and rubbed my eyes, that dream, was it just trying to tease me, to show me what I could never have. I got up from the bed with a slight daze. Righting myself I changed into something comfortable and opened the door. My eyes focused on Alex, why was he here, was this still a dream.

"Hey, can we talk?" he asked taking a step towards me.

"Downstairs" I replied as I carefully went down the stairs. I sat down on the couch and patted the seat next to me. He slid down and looked me in the eyes.

"I'm your best friend, you can tell me anything"

"Yeah, I guess I can...well it started at Sienna's party"

He put a reassuring hand on my shoulder and gave me a genuine smile.

I smiled slightly and continued.

Xavier's pov

I didn't see him arrive with Sienna this morning and I was slightly scared to talk to her, one of my best friends. I felt like an outsider, Zac was avoiding me and this just left me with Sophie which I was glad about. At least I had her. My first class had Sienna in it and she sat next to me, but didn't initiate any conversation. So I decided to.

I tapped her on the shoulder and she turned slightly, masking her true emotions. "Um..Hey" "Hi"

"I just wanted to know what I did, no one is talking to me" I admitted slightly frowning at that.

She sighed and turned to me "You should really think about your actions, it can give people the wrong idea" she said and turned away.

I fell silent, what was she talking about. "What do you mean exactly?"

"You'll figure it out, just....dont worry" she said, shaking her head.

"Are we still friends?"

"Of course, I just need to think for a while ok"

"Ok and where's Aiden?"

"Now you care" I heard her mumble, I was confused by that. "He's at home, he's not in a good mood"

"Oh...ok" What could be wrong with him, could it be about me? Was it about the test results or something else entirely. He hasn't really been acting like himself.

Im going to go talk to him after school, hopefully he'll want to speak to me. After the bell went I walked out of class to my locker. Sophie was leaning against it and as I got closer she lifted her head and gave me an adorable smile. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her, she squealed as I spun her around lightly. I stopped and pressed my forehead against hers and smiled. "Hi"

"Hi cutie" she replied, giving me a little wink. I smirked and slipped my hand into hers and we walked outside and sat against the wall. I played with her hair as she lay along my legs and I slipped into a daydream. Thinking about how tonight will play out.

Pretty soon after, lunch had ended and the last two classes of the day had breezed by. I hadn't talked to Sienna again or Zac, but I saw them after school, they drove off together  in a different direction to her house. So I had a chance to go see him without her there. I quickly ran towards his house, as it was not too far away, I stopped outside the door, suddenly feeling the nerves build up inside me. I quickly knocked before I could back out.

Aiden's POV

Alex had left, a while ago, once I finished spilling everything to him. He left pretty quickly so he could make it back for his classes. I felt a tiny bit better after talking to him, but it still didn't change anything about the situation at hand, I was still without Xavier.

I was sprawled along the couch, aimlessly watching tv, whilst eating a whole heap of comfort food. Suddenly I heard a knock on the door, I glanced across the room at the time. Home time, must be Sienna. I walked over to the door and I just got a text from her saying she was coming home later. So if it wasn't her at the door, who could it be? Maybe Alex, Amelia or my parents? I smiled.

I happily swung open to reveal Xavier, in surprise I shut the door in his face. In just that one second my heart had sped up to twice its normal rate and my breathing had become rapid. Why was he here? I sighed and reopened the door. He looked somewhat relieved at that notion.

"H-Hey Aiden" he said stuttering with an almost guilty look on his face.

I held my stance and gave him a look "What are you doing here?" I said crossing my arms across my chest.

"I wanted to talk...I have a few things to ask you".

"I don't think that's a good idea, please...just go" I turned around and went to shut the door. But his foot cut off my actions. He opened the door once again, "Please...just give me 5 minutes"

I looked at him and my judgment faltered and I nodded leading the way to my bedroom. I heard the door shut and his footsteps following me. My eyes held unshed tears, my thoughts were getting out of control. Why did he have to come here now? I didn't need any more negative reality thrown at me. I was over him, well almost.

I sat down on the edge on the bed feeling wary, my senses turned on to his movements. I awkwardly bounced on the bed, as he made his way and sat down next to me. Maybe a bit too close regarding my personal space factor.

"So...what did u want to know?" I asked tentatively, timidly fidgeting with the hem of my shirt.

"Why weren't you at school today?"

"I-I didn't feel up to it"

"Oh...ok, are you alright?"

"Yeah sure...im fine"

"What did u mean by "don't" in your text?"

"Nothing, auto correct" I told him, lying through my teeth, his questions, why did he seem like he cared, when he obviously didn't.

"Oh...um do you know why my friends are avoiding me?" he asked a frown settling on his face.

I sighed, he didn't even know what happened and its not like I could tell him. I couldn't blame him for my own actions, he doesn't know. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions so quickly. Just teasing...

"I'm sorry, I'll talk to them" I said feeling guilt course through me, they shouldn't be doing that to him. It's none of their business, nothing happened and nothing ever would have. Just my imagination, I just cant keep it under my control.

"It's not your fault Aiden" at his words he moved closer to me and I just felt a sense of dejavu. The dream...

"It is...you just don't know the full story..." shit, I told him too much, I glanced up at him, his eyes held confusion. I looked away from him and moved to the side where I could not feel the heat radiating from his body. At this rate...I'm going to tell him everything.

My eyes watered as the full story of the past events rushed back into my mind, reliving every happy and sad moment we had. I love him so much. I can't deny it. Even after everything that has happened, I can't change my feelings, it's just too powerful to ignore.

As the tears flowed down my face for that fact that he could never understand. He pulled me closer to him, wrapping his arms around me, letting me feel his warm body against mine. I buried my head into his chest, bundling my hands in his shirt and sobbing as I let out all the built up tension.

I slowly stopped crying and my tears were clouding my eyes as well as my sense of judgment. As the dream of hours before consumed me I blurted out the unthinkable. "I like you, Xavier" but this time he did not swoop in and kiss me, no. I pushed him away from me as the embarrassment from those 3 words seeped in. I turned away from him, breathing slightly faltered, I finally told him.

When I turned back, he was still there, frozen, like so many times. His mouth was slightly gapped and his eyes held real emotion, too many for me to understand. He was deep in thought whilst all the anger and frustration I had against him burst out of me, at its own record.

"I cannot believe you Xavier!" I started is eyes darting towards me in shock. "How could you kiss me and not think what it has done to me" "I fell for you, hard, so hard that I couldn't think of anyone besides you, you consumed my every thought!" "You flirt with me, befriend me and show me how amazing you are, just....just for it to all come crashing down in a matter of seconds" "I don't even know what your thinking half the time, but maybe you should have thought about your actions, what it has done to me!" "When I saw you and S-Sophie together, that made me feel like I was used!" "I like you so much, that even after all that, I still like you...what an idiot right..."

The tears had stopped and I became my normal self once again, after that mental breakdown. After a few seconds, realisation rushed through me and I realised what I had said. Not good. Not good at all.

I could see the realisation hit his face and the burning embarrassment colour his cheeks. He was shocked, really shocked. I stepped away from the bed, giving him some space.

"I have a girlfriend, Aiden, who I really like" he said, his eyes holding some guilt and sadness.

"That's whats unrequited love is like" I whispered intending him not to hear and I heard him sigh.

"I'm sorry Aiden, if I led you on, I was just being friendly, but I may have overstepped the lines of friendship"

My hands clenched at his words, no shit he did. He continued, "I never liked you Aiden, I don't like boys like that, I used you and I'm sorry" his voice emphasising certain words.

"Get out, just go, I don't want to talk to you" I told him, my body shaking, feeling vulnerability strike me at each and every word.

He left without another word and closed the door behind him. Leaving me alone and depressed. The playback of his words, "I have a girlfriend" "I really like her" "overstepped the lines" "I never liked you" "I used you". The full meaning of his words, settled in and everything in my world collapsed.

Hearing the truth hurts, but directly from the mouth of someone you love, then it's ten times worse.

I should have never cared about him, but I did and now...It hurts a lot

So shouldn't it be easy to let go of someone you never really had?

Life isn't easy and this is just one obstacle I'm going to have to overcome. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you guys!! that was chapter number 10 :) hope it was alright, i know it was pretty sad and unexpected, but it will get better ;) 

Vote and Comment for more, and fan me if you love me

New chapter, is idk when, school started so not for a while, but im really excited to write the next chapter, I think you guys will like it 

Byeeeee

Paradise xoxo ^.^

[text_hash] => fe506541
)