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Suga's POV

I dragged myself out. Thunderstorms could be heard as the sky was filled with dark clouds. Unlike the others on the street who had an umbrella or a raincoat, I had nothing on. It was on purpose. I wanted to feel something on me, something stronger than my heart ache. 

Water droplets landed on my face. It was until I stretched my hand out to wipe it did I realised I was tearing. I closed my eyes as streams of water rolled down from my eyes. I guess this is the feeling of heart broke. My heart feels empty as I walked along the streets with no destination in mind. Everybody on the streets were busily seeking shelter, leaving me alone under the rain. 

I thought the cold weather would numb my heart but I was wrong. The pain at my left chest was getting stronger. I seriously swear that if I could stop my heart from feeling anything I would, because, this pain is killing me. 

Min Yoongi, why did you even let Jimin go? After so many months, you decided to give up your relationship with him? Was that a rash decision?...I don't know...But if I can go back in time, I would probably say the same thing. 

Soon, the sky became dark. I looked at my phone and it was already 10 pm. Unknowingly, I had already walked to the convenience store near our dorm. The rain hasn't stopped, and my body was still drenched. The back alley to our dorm never seem so short. And soon I reached the door step, I saw someone sitting there, almost falling asleep. 

"Hyung, you're back!" J-hope exclaimed. 

"Why are you here?"

"It was raining heavily just now and you always don't have the habit of bringing an umbrella. So, I thought probably you would call me for help." 

"Thanks Hoseok, I'm fine now." 

"You're not hyung! You're all wet!" he sighed as he opened the umbrella he was holding. 

He looked at me was a worried expression. Showing me a frown, he used his other hand to wipe the water on my face.

"Were you crying hyung?" he asked softly as he caressed my face.

"A-aniyo, it's just the raindrops."

"Your nose is red too."

"It was cold just now."

"Why didn't you take shelter then?"

"I was thinking about something."

"Did...something happen?"

"Aniyo."

"Don't lie hyung, you don't look alright."

"I'm not like you Hoseok, smiling at every single thing I see just isn't my thing."

"But the Suga hyung I know won't let himself be under the rain."

"Tell me then, the Suga you know...is he dumb?"

"Well yes, according to the lie detector, but he will never admit it..." he giggled but immediately hide his smile back after seeing my emotionless expression.

"Aniya, I'm not gonna deny it anymore. I'm stupid, I'm brainless, I'm fucking dumb, why the world would- urghh!"

"Did...did something happened you to...and...and Jimin?"

I sighed, seems like I really need to get this out of my heart or else I might really died of frustration. Looking down on the ground, I uttered under my breath, "I broke up...with Jimin just now."

"MWO?!? Are you serious hyung?"

"Ne. I was the one who initiated it."

"Wae? Don't you love him?"

"I do. Because I love him a lot, that's why I broke up with him."

"Wae? Being together with him isn't your wish come true?"

"It is, for me, but I don't know if he feels the same way too."

"He do. He love you too hyung, that's why he chose you...over...Kookie."

"I really wished that I could be with him forever too, Hoseok. But it seems like...I can't. I'm not the right one for him. I may be emotionless but I'm also human too, I have feelings too. I can feel that he doesn't love me as much now. He...fell in love with another person."

"Aniyo, his relationship with Kookie was just short-term. He broke up with him in the end didn't he?"

"Physically yes, but his heart is still with Jungkook. He couldn't do it, Hoseok, he still love Kookie no matter how hard he tried to forget him. Or should I say, the more Jimin tries to stay away from Kookie, the more he bury his feelings for Kookie, the harder it is for him to stop loving Kookie."

"But shouldn't you persist on hyung? Didn't you say you will win Jimin back? Why now...?"

"You don't understand. Hope ah, when you love somebody, you hope that he's happy."

"Jimin is happy when he's with you isn't he?"

"Aniya, when he's with me, although he's physically beside me, his heart is not. And if you really love somebody, you will do anything to make him happy, even if you need to sacrifice yourself. To me, seeing Jimin's smile is the best thing on earth and I don't want to be the cause of the extinction of his killer smile."

"Hyung...you really love Jimin a lot a lot."

"I don't even know it now."

"Although you don't say it verbally, it's obvious, you love Jimin more than he loves you, that's why he chose Kookie over you."

"Don't say that. You can't control who you love. I know, I'm being so noble here, sacrificing myself for them, but actually this feeling sucks. I always thought that wishing him the best will be a happy ending but, I didn't know I will experience so much pain. Seeing Kookie and Jimin together really hurts me, my heart is tearing apart right now."

"I guess, in a three-sided relationship, all parties are victims."

"Did I really made the right choice, Hoseok? Will I regret afterwards?"

"Hajima hyung, no matter how much you miss Jimin, don't go back to him; no matter how mad you're at yourself for breaking up with him, don't take back your words. I don't want you to go through another time of torture hyung. Maybe...maybe...Jimin just isn't for you, maybe...there's someone else who loves you even more than Jimin, maybe he..."

"Maybe he's always by my side."

"Ne hyung, he's even willing to lean you his shoulders to cry on." I gazed at Hoseok, his eyes were teary too, yet the wide grin on his face never fade. That smile...it's also so welcoming, so attractive, so adorable. Ne, maybe he really got his name for a reason...J-hope...I surely do find some hope after talking to him. 

Taking a step closer to me, J-hope wrapped his arms around my body and brought our bodies closer. "The Suga hyung I know don't cry in front of his dongsaengs," he whispered, "but today, treat me as someone who you can rely on, hyung, I don't want to be just your dongsaeng."

I looked at him and nodded. 'I don't want to be just your dongsaeng' - this sentence, Jimin said that before. I opened my heart for him, but all I got was betrayal and tons of lies, mainly 'I still love you hyung". No, I did not regret loving him, but will I let another one into my heart...I don't know...

After all that crying on the street, it was amazing that there was still tears in my eyes. No longer bothered to maintain my hyung image, I allowed my tears to flow freely down. And of course, under the streetlight, J-hope saw it but he just silently smiled. 

He patted my head as he said, "Cry hyung, just cry out loud for today. Because after today, you must be a strong hyung who respect his dongsaeng's decision and let him go."

I nodded and sniffed. I had my face hidden in my hands to prevent Hoseok from seeing. "Gwenchana hyung," he consoled as he pulled me in for a hug, "I promise I won't tell others that you look horrible when you cry."

As always, his jokes never fail to make me laugh. At that state of mood, I still managed to let out a small chuckle.

"I knew I am your happy pill hyung!" he exclaimed before hugging me tighter. 

I felt warmth in his embrace. I wasn't feeling that hopeless till the extent of ending my life. But...realizing the fact that tomorrow, tomorrow's tomorrow, every single day, I'll still have to face Jimin...and Jungkook...and the others. I wasn't sure how am I supposed to do...but! I got J-hope with me, yes, my one and only happy pill :)

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