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Chapter 6

    I chewed on my bottom lip nervously. I never told people about Jerry; no one could understand. Oh, Daniel, by the way, Jerry is my imaginary friend.

    Yeah, I could just spit it out like that.

    “What?” I asked, playing the I’m-dumb card. Maybe he would just drop it.

    He didn’t.

    “You were calling for a Jerry.” Daniel knelt down and held out a steaming mug of black coffee in front of my face.

    I reached out and wrapped my fingers around the mug, grazing Daniel’s fingers in the process. I pulled away so quickly that scalding coffee sloshed onto my hand. “Fuck!” I did my best not to drop the mug to the ground.

    “Shit, Tyler,” Daniel said, pulling the mug away from me. “Am I going to have to feed this to you as well?” There was humor in his voice, but my face flushed anyway. He pulled the towel from the ground, reached out, and took my hand in his, tenderly patting away the coffee. Once dry, he continued to hold my hand in his. The action only deepened the blush painted on my face. “I don’t think any permanent damage was done,” he said with a slight smile as he released my hand.

    I blew out a breath. This was my perfect opportunity to change the subject away from Jerry. “I would like to go back to bed,” I paused, feeling like a total waste of space, “but I don’t think I can make it there on my own.”  I was telling the truth, and I was also hoping that the truth would pull his attention to me instead of Jerry.

    Daniel furrowed his brow. “You really can’t make it?” He looked worried.

    I shook my head in a silent no and frowned. “I’m really weak; I tried getting up when you left, but I fell.”

    Daniel offered a small smile. “Are you asking for help because you do realize that I’m going to have to touch you?”

    My stomach lurched at the idea, but I took a deep breath to steady myself. “I would rather not stay camped out in my bathroom, ya know?” I lowered my eyes back to my hands. There were red marks on my left hand where the coffee scalded me.

    “Your wish is my command,” his words were so kind that I lifted my eyes. Daniel scooted over to me and wrapped an arm around my back. “Wrap your arm around my back, ok?”

    I obeyed, my hand brushing against the back of his neck. His back was so firm, strong.

    “I’m going to stand on the count of three. Are you ready?”

    My pulse quickened as I muttered, “Yes.”

    “One. Two.” He took a breath. “Three.” Standing, he pulled me to my feet. Instantly, my head started to spin, but my stomach stayed at bay. “Jesus, Tyler, you’re so light.”

    Those words stung, but I kept my mouth closed. Why did everyone feel the need to comment on my weight? What business was it to them?

    Slowly, Daniel led me through the morning light and back to my bed. Without speaking, he lifted me from the ground and placed me on my sheets. “Is there anything else you need?” He snapped his fingers in the air, reminding me of Jerry. “Coffee.”

    Quickly, he darted back into the bathroom and sat the coffee on the bedside table. “It’s hot, so let it cool down before you drink it?”

    I suddenly felt like a child again.

    Nodding, I gave him a tiny smile. The action seemed to make his own smile form. “Thank you, Daniel.”

    “It’s not a problem.” He smiled brighter, and then all at once, his smile faltered. “Tyler, you really should eat more…”

    I groaned, closing my eyes.

    “Ok. Ok,” he muttered in defeat. “I’ll leave you alone. Try to rest. I’ll be here all night if you need anything.” With that, Daniel left my room, closing my door behind him.

    My entire body hurt as I pulled my blanket over my body. I blinked a few times in rabid succession in hopes that my eyes would adjust to the bright light. Now that I was alone, I cleared my throat and spoke. “Jerry, where are you?” I was beginning to worry. It was completely unlike Jerry to disappear.

    There was still no response.

    Panic uncoiled in my senses, causing my breathing to quicken. My thoughts hissed in my mind. “You chased him away; you ran off the only one that ever loved you.”

    Shaking my head, I ran both my hands through my hair then drug them down my face.  Tears were beginning to drip down my cheeks. “Jerry, please talk to me,” I sobbed quietly.

    I needed him. If I didn’t have him, I would lose my mind.

    There was still no response. It became hard to breathe as the outer rim of my vision darkened. I tried to desperately to rake in a calming breathe, but found little resolve. Even though I knew I was having a panic attack, I still felt like I was dying. I kept thinking, “This is it. I’m dying. I’m dying a shut-in with a pathetic excuse for a life. It’s over.”

    Something inside me snapped at those thoughts. I didn’t want to die with a life like this. A rippling scream escaped my mental lips, drowning out all other thoughts.

    My lungs unclenched, allowing me to steal a deep breath from the air. I coughed a few times as I rested my arm against my forehead. Blowing out a breath, I wiped away the sweat from my brow and stole a few more calming breaths.

    Somehow, I found some sort of peace or succumbed to sheer exhaustion, but I rolled onto my side and fell into a deep sleep. At some point, cool arms wrapped around my shoulders, pulling me against a chest.

    My eyes flittered open, meeting Jerry’s icy gaze. A wave of relief flooded my senses as I nuzzled closer to Jerry, seeking warmth in his embrace; however, his body was too cool against mine, making me shiver as I drifted back into my slumber.

    I dreamed about Jerry. He was downstairs having tea with my mother; they looked happy. I hovered in my own dream, never touching the ground, just observing. They shared a laugh, and my mother’s eyes lit up with life. I watched as a dream from of myself walked in to join them, sitting next to Jerry and intertwining his fingers with Jerry’s.

    I looked different in my dream. My hair was tidy, and my face looked full. The clothes I wore actually fit on my body, and to top it all off, I looked truly happy. Jerry placed a small kiss on my cheek, and my mother grinned at the two of us.

    She looked proud.

    Suddenly, the dream darkened and my mother disappeared. Daniel walked into the room, wrapping his hand around my wrist and yanking me from Jerry’s touch. I watched as dream me didn’t protest; instead, he wrapped an arm around Daniel’s waist, stood on the tips of my toes, and placed a kiss on Daniel’s strong jaw.

    Jerry stood quickly, pain splattered over every inch of his face. He reached for my hand, but his fingers slid through me as if he were a ghost. Opening his mouth to speak, Jerry let out a scream; no sound filled the air.

    Daniel shot a wicked grin past  dream me, meeting Jerry’s eyes. He leaned down, claiming my lips in a fiery kiss while keeping his eyes planted on Jerry.

    Falling to his knees, Jerry wept and clawed at his hair. He looked so wounded, broken. I fought against my dream and tried to reach for him. I outstretched my arms, but he paid me no attention. His eyes stayed on Daniel and the dream me.

    I watched from high above as Daniel took my hand in his and led me away into the darkness, leaving Jerry alone.

    In that moment, I realized that this wasn’t my dream; it was Jerry’s nightmare.

    Cracking my eyes open, I found myself tangled in Jerry’s arms. He was awake and staring down at me. Fear pained his icy gaze, but he smiled lightly.

    Resting my forehead against his chest, I smiled back. My head no longer hurt, but my stomach growled loudly. Not wanting to move, I ignored it. There was a comfort in Jerry’s arms. It was so familiar, but even now, it felt vastly different.

    After a moment, I pulled away, propping myself up on my arm. I stared up at Jerry and trailed a hand down his chest. He was cold under the tips of my fingers, almost deathly so.

    “You’re doing this to me,” he mumbled, fear and pain cracking his voice.

    I frowned. “I’m sorry, Jerry. Drinking was a stupid idea. Please, don’t be mad at me.” I thought to how nice Daniel treated me, and Jerry let out a pained sigh.

    “I’m not mad, Tyler.” He gave me another weak smile. “Our time together is coming to an end; we both know it.”

    I swallowed hard at Jerry’s words. My mind accepted them, but my heart lurched at the heartbreakingly pained words that left his mouth. “It doesn’t have to be, Jerry.” I crawled back over to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and bringing my body close to his.

    His arms stayed at his sides.

    “Yes it does.” He took a deep breath. “It’s already been done; it’s over already. You just won’t accept it.”

    Fearfully, I lifted my eyes and found tears dripping down his cheeks. “No,” I said firmly. “Daniel is just a friend; he’s nice to me.” Tears were now dripping down my own eyes as my heart realized Jerry was saying goodbye. “I don’t want him; I want you,” I said with begging eyes.

    Even as the words left my mouth, I knew that I didn’t believe them wholeheartedly.

    “You don’t believe your own words, Tyler,” Jerry said, mimicking my thought. “He is filling the void you used to make me.” Jerry’s words were matter-of-factly; however, his next words dripped with so much pain that I found myself sobbing into his chest, digging my fingers into his back. “It’s time for me to go.”

    I had to say something to keep Jerry here. He was my everything.

    “No I’m not,” he whispered, leaning down to place a kiss softly on the top of my head.

    “Yes, you are!” I spat. “You are my only friend; I love you! Please don’t leave me!” I pleaded. “What do I have to do? Tell me! I’ll do anything to keep you here!” I was sobbing nearly uncontrollably.

    “Tyler,” Jerry began as he lifted my head to meet his beautiful eyes. “You’re different now; you don’t need me to love you anymore. You’re going to survive on your own.” He touched his icy lips to mine, and I returned his kiss passionately, pouring my entire being into it, yet the kiss never warmed, just sat cold on my lips. “You really are stronger than you could ever know, Tyler,” his breathed against my lips.

    I shook my head, placing a hand on his cheek. “I’m not, Jerry. I can’t make it alone.”

    Alone.

    The word reverberated through my body, settling in the base of my stomach like a bowling ball.

    “You can make it alone. You don’t have a choice.” Jerry gave me a cocky grin as he wiped away his tears. “If I could be real for you, I would, but I can’t Tyler. I’m everything you needed up until this point, and now you need more; I can’t offer you more.” He wiped away my tears with his thumb.

    My heart was racing at his words. This was it; I was losing Jerry.

    “You can’t lose something that was never there,” he breathed, placing a kiss on the tip of my nose. Jerry pulled me into his chest as he lied down. I sobbed on top of him as he wrapped his arms around me.

    I closed my eyes, and when I opened them, I was clinging to my pillow for dear life; Jerry was no longer there.

    For the next few hours, the sound of my quiet sobs echoed off my bedroom walls like chorus of sickening laughter.

    They laughed because for the first time since I was a child, I was truly alone.

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I know this is my story, but I teared up as I wrotie this. Is that sad? Feel free to tell me what you think! I actually love it when you all do(: Don't forget to vote if you like this chapter, and if you're new and stumbled onto this story, please feel free to fan me.

Thank you all!

xoxo - Mason

P.S. This chapter wasn't supposed to be finished, but I did my best to put out one more before I won't be able to post for a few days. See. This is proof that I love you all. (:

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