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Chapter Forty-Five: Evan

I can't really pinpoint the exact moment when I fucked up, all I know is that I just fucked up.

The dots connecting to my downfall were easy to trace back, however, but due to my blindsided optimism, I didn't see them even when they were there right in front of me.

All I remember is that as soon as I walked up to Mandy with her unaware of my presence drawing near was that I had completely thrown all rationality out the window.

"Hey," I called out as soon as I approached her, catching her attention as she looked up at me, her eyes widening as soon as I was a foot away.

"E-Evan," she stuttered, closing her locker as she turned to me "Hi."

I nodded "Hi. It's been a while."

"Yeah, it's been a while indeed." she acknowledged, "Though it hasn't been that long since I tried to save you from my brother when he pummeled your ass to the ground."

Okay, I deserve that one.

Chuckling awkwardly, I tried to find the right words to say before I delved into this because knowing me and Mandy, this could go wrong in a lot of different ways.

When Mandy and I dated, I knew right from the start it just wasn't the type of relationship that was going to last, and neither would it end on a positive note either.

We were worlds apart and Mandy was the type of person who gravitates towards people she thinks she can fix. She was also the type of person who was in it for the long haul.

I wasn't any of that. We simply met at the wrong time and in the wrong place and quite frankly, the way she loves just wasn't compatible with the way I loved.

If I would even call what we did as loving each other, to begin with.

To summarize it, I was toxic. I was toxic to her and she just wanted to adapt to my lifestyle to the best of her ability that's why she got corrupted. She adapted my vengeful tendencies and ways of always disappointing those around me so consequently, she just corresponded to it.

I simply didn't want to be saved. I didn't wanna feel like a charity case and something that needed to be deconstructed and put back together, leaving only the part people deemed as desirable.

Because people like me who are overly destructive and don't wanna commit to anything and or anyone? We don't wanna be fixed, and chances are the more you try to fix us the more you're gonna end up breaking yourself in the process.

Life isn't like the fairytales. The only way people like me are ever gonna be able to find love without enduring a life's worth of suffering is if we're willing to change all by ourselves.

We repent and we redeem but all on our own.

I was only fortunate that Maggie was there to call me out on my bullshit. But even so, what we went through was exhausting.

It was emotionally draining and overall a fucking nightmare, always going at it at one another to the point we couldn't help but want to walk out every single time we saw the chance to do so.

It doesn't help that we were never even lovers, to begin with.

If it was that exhausting for her and she never even tried to fix me in the first place, I could only imagine what it was like for the women whom I had been involved with and did try to fix me.

They were too busy gazing at some fantasy, while I was too busy trying to demolish it.

In the end, no one wound up happy. They were over their own heads trying to cultivate a fairytale out of someone who wasn't tolerating it, and I was too much of a bitter asshole.

That's why as I stand here now in front of the girl who I had hurt, I can't help but feel sick to my stomach. Because even though we were both toxic to each other, I could've spared her the time and pain by making it easier and not led her on and put more coal into the fire.

"Mandy, listen..." I started "I don't know if you have the time to talk, assuming that you even want to be anywhere near me right now. But I just wanted to apologize."

"I've hurt you when you didn't deserve it, and I had the audacity to make you feel like you were the bad guy in the end. But you were kind enough to try and save me from your brother when he, and as you said, pummeled my ass to the ground."

"You could've let him do what he had done because I deserved it, which honestly? If you hadn't stepped up, that would've been more understandable. But you did and I can't help but feel like shit because even when we're not together, I still somehow don't deserve you."

Looking at me softly, her eyebrows furrowed and there was a slight frown on her face as she gulped "E-Evan... where is all of this coming from?" she asked.

Before I could even answer her, the sound of loud footsteps approaching us resonated through the hallways, and like the speed of light and without even seeing it coming, I was suddenly shoved against the lockers with much unbelievable strength and aggression.

"You fucking scumbag. Haven't you learned anything from last time?

Staggering back, I looked up to the blazing eyes of no other than Robert Davis as he looked down at me, fists clenched as his nostrils flared at the sight of me near his little sister.

"Robert-" I tried to speak up but clearly, he wasn't having it, stepping forward as Mandy tried to push her brother away so that he wouldn't make a scene.

"You could've just gone on with your life after I rightfully kicked your ass, but like the fucking airhead that you are, you still couldn't help yourself, huh?"

"Listen, I mean no harm, I just wanted to apologize. There's literally no point in causing-"

It didn't even take a second that as soon as I stood up, Robert already lifted his fist and punched me square in the face, causing me to fall back down as Mandy cried out.

"Robert! What the hell!" she pulled her brother away from me but the damage had already been done, and Robert appears more murderous now as he looks down at me.

"I'm giving you another chance to stand up and walk away now while you still can, Williams," he growled, making me wipe at the corners of my mouth only to see blood.

I darted my eyes up at him and then at Mandy "Too bad you're not the one I came here for."

His eyes narrowed at my remark, and I don't know why my recklessness today only seems to amplify by the minute, but before he could even pounce on me, Colin, Zach, and Jasper popped up and pulled him back from doing anything else.

While I felt the hands of no other than Maggie on my arms as she looked at me "Oh my god, you stupid idiot." she muttered in panic "Are you okay?"

Laughing in amusement but immediately coughing in pain afterward, I looked up to the worried eyes of Maggie and smiled crookedly.

"Never been better."

She was obviously not as amused by my behavior but before she could even pull me away while the guys were restraining Robert from doing anything, did the rest of The Greasers show up, pulling Jasper and the boys away as they all collectively took each of my friends into their grip, causing a riot in the middle of the hallways as everyone tried to steer clear.

Feeling my blood boil in anger, I stood up just in time as Robert squared up to try and face me "You should've just kept your mouth shut and walked away." he hissed.

As he was about to resume our fight while I was anticipating the upcoming ass beating I was about to get, a pair of hands shoved me away and lunged towards Robert.

Making me blink back in shock not until I saw who the person was that took the blow for me.

"What the fuck?! Sean?!" Mandy screeched as my ex-best friend flung himself towards her brother in what I could assume was for my defense.

Everyone around us stood back completely stunned as they witnessed my friends and my ex-best friend send an amplitude of punches and kicks towards Robert and his friends.

"Oh my God," Maggie muttered "This is fucking craz- Evan? What are you doing? Evan!"

I didn't even spare Maggie another glance before I came bolting right into the chaos of it all, not wanting to let my friends do all the dirty work as I pulled Robert away just as he shoved Sean onto the ground, kicking him in his stomach as he was sent flying back.

"Took you long enough," Sean groaned as I held my hand out for him to take.

He grabbed it as I pulled him up, looking at him with my brows knitted together. "Surprised you needed help beating up a guy who wanted me dead. Isn't this specific occurrence what you've been waiting for your whole life?"

"Let's just say things's changed. For now at least." he quickly remarked "I'll explain everything later- Evan! Watch out!"

I swiveled around fast enough to catch Robert attempting to charge at me but I quickly dodged it by ducking down and throwing a punch at him.

"Nice try, you sick son-of-a-"

"What in God's name is going on here?!"

The commotion ended as fast as it started as the sound of Principal Miller's voice sliced through the halls like a smoke alarm, as we all turned around to see him standing in the middle of the halls right beside Maggie who looked about as paralyzed as we all were.

Sean cleared his throat "Sir, I can explain-"

"No excuses! Each one of you! In my office! Now!"

* * *

Sitting in complete silence as Sean and I waited for Principal Miller to return to his office was about as awkward as it was completely nerve-wracking for the both of us.

We sat side-by-side next to each other in front of his desk as we fidgeted in our seats like a pair of typical high-schoolers that got sent to the principal's office for the first time.

But it wasn't long when Sean broke the silence as he released a sigh "I can't believe this."

"I'm sorry," I muttered in sorrow "I know how hard it must be knowing that this is your first time being sent to the Principal's office and all-"

"Evan, don't test me right now," he grumbled, his eyes closed as he rubbed his temple in obvious distress.

I turned my head to glance at him "I wasn't being sarcastic."

"Well, the least you could do is to shut up for a while. God knows how much this would affect us and our personal records. Good Lord." he whined, practically hyperventilating.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes "Relax, will ya? Nothing bad is going to happen."

"How can you be so sure of that?" Sean asked as he lifted his head to stare at me.

I stared back and garnered enough sincerity and reassurance in my tone as I said "I just am, so please, trust me on this okay?"

He heaved out a deep breath before he slumped back into his seat "Well, you better be sure of that because this is the first time I've attempted to put my personal record at risk just so that I can save you from that asshole brother of Mandy's."

"Why did you even do that? We both know I was capable of handling him all on my own. Jasper and the guys were already helping me, to begin with." I chastised, frowning.

He laughed dryly in response "Please, you were one ass whooping away from being pummeled to the ground like last time. You can't fool me, Williams."

My eyebrows raised because of that "How do you even know about that?"

"Your recent escapades haven't really been discreet. Everybody knows about it, and people also know that if it weren't for Mandy he would've done a lot more." he proclaimed "Which is surprising because knowing your history with her, she has all the right reasons to allow her brother to beat your ass senseless. But she kept putting you ahead first like she always does."

Gulping, I looked down on my lap as I sheepishly fiddled with my fingers. "I know, that's why I was there in the first place, talking to her. I wanted to apologize."

I didn't dare look at him but I knew he was burning holes in the side of my head "I assume because you wanted to make amends with her like how you did with Beth?"

That got me out of my stupor as I looked at him incredulously "Again, how do you know about that?" I asked, dumbfounded.

He averted his gaze away from me this time "She approached me recently. She told me all about your reconciliation and how you've patched things up with her with the help of Maggie." he explained, "Which is understandable because knowing you, you probably wouldn't have been able to do it without her help."

"Hey," I drawled out as he simply smirked at me in response.

"Look me in the eyes right now and tell me you didn't fuck up the first time you tried to apologize to her." he teased as I felt my face heat up, scowling at him as I looked away.

"Fine. You've made your point." I grumbled as he laughed.

A comfortable silence settled between us as we remained completely still, drinking each other in as I took my time to process our interaction.

How, even after so long of being at each other's throats, we could still talk like this. Talk as if these past few months of us resenting one another never even happened.

As if we didn't waste a good year's worth of friendship all because we couldn't swallow both of our pride and just move the fuck on.

"... You know, she really means well," Sean said after a while, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Who?" I asked, perplexed.

His face was blank as he kept staring down on his feet "Maggie," he clarified, "I could tell that even though you two went through a lot, she obviously cares so much about you."

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I simply shrugged my shoulders even though the subject was anything but a casual topic to just brush off.

"She's just really kind like that," I responded as Sean laughed.

"Please, even though I've only had my fair share of interactions with her I can tell she isn't just your typical textbook good girl who's kind to everyone. She knows what she wants and she looks like the type of person who isn't about to take anybody's shit."

"Well, you got a point there," I noted.

"Exactly. She's a smart girl, and you would know that because she prioritizes her well-being first right before your own, going back to the time she came up to me to ask about your past with Beth without wanting to be swayed by her soft spot for you."

"As much as I didn't wanna intervene, I know she only did that for personal reasons and because she didn't wanna get hurt. I also didn't wanna see her get hurt because I know what you are capable of, Evan," he told me as I nodded.

"But she's here now and I can only guess she pitied you enough to give you another chance, but she did it the right way without having to ignore all the other problems. She put her best friend first and didn't wanna continue anything until she knew you and Beth had made up so there wouldn't be harsh feelings involved, and honestly? That takes a lot of guts."

"She's done so much for you and you don't even know it. Like you know deep down this girl isn't obligated to do anything but she still found it in herself to fix certain problems that aren't even hers to fix. But for some reason, she's doing a better job at it than we ever did. That alone is enough of a reason as to why you should be thankful to her."

Stunned, I was completely at loss for words and what I was supposed to say, not knowing how I should react to that but at the same time, I understood all too well what he meant.

"I am," I said "There's never a day where I don't question why Maggie is still here but somehow she still is and for that, I will constantly let her know how much that means to me."

"Have you tried asking her out yet?" he asked.

I shook my head "No. I haven't, we're still in a stage where we're warming up to each other and getting to know the other person a bit more before we dive right in. I haven't been one to take things slow so I'm trying to adjust to what fits best for her."

A ghost of a smile lingered on his face as he nodded "That's great to hear."

"How about you and Beth, though?"

He shrugged, chewing on his bottom lip "We're good. It's not likely I'll succeed in asking her out again and to go back to where I left things off with her just because she finally talked to me, but just like you, I'm trying to adapt to what she wants. Whether she wants to give us a shot or not, it's all up to her."

"Do you still like her?"

He lets out a faint chuckle at that "I don't think there was ever a time I ever stopped liking her."

Grinning, I didn't say anything more considering there was no need for further explanation from him. I can only hope that in some way or another, they'll end up giving it a shot.

"How about you though?" he asked, "Is this thing with Maggie... like are you sure about it?"

I thought about it, not because I was uncertain of my own feelings but if anything, despite this being the first time I've ever truly gone out of my way to take a relationship seriously, I've never been more sure of something in my entire life.

There isn't any reluctance or fear involved, it just strikes me as surreal that I've never been more devoted towards something and someone that I can't help but take my time to process everything.

To process how this is real. What I feel about Maggie and how she probably feels the same way.

"I've never been more sure in my entire life," I confirmed as he smiled fondly, but before he could even say anything, the door of the office flew open, causing us both to sit up straight as Principal Miller came into view and took a seat down at his desk.

He stared at us both, his expression stoic as he folded his hands together on his desk, obviously not in the mood to keep up with more of our nonsense.

"This has been the second time you've gotten involved in another altercation with Robert Davis, Mr. Williams." Principal Miller stated as he eyed me sharply "I don't know what is it about you two that for some reason you can't seem to be near each other without wanting to tear each other's heads off, but this has gotten out-of-hand."

"At this point, I might as well have to expel you two because I don't wanna have to keep up with this sort of nonsense every time you two encounter one another." my face immediately became pale at the mention of expulsion, and before I could even open my mouth to defend myself, Sean held his hand up and beat me to it.

"Principal Miller, with all due respect, I was there when the fight happened and I can rest assure you that Evan did not provoke Robert in any way for him to receive such punishment as Robert was the one that initiated the fight and Evan was only defending himself when Robert attacked him." Sean clarified in a firm tone.

Principal Miller raised an eyebrow "May I ask what was your involvement in the fight?"

Sean gulped "I was there to defend Evan along with Jasper, Zach, and Colin. I take full responsibility for my actions but Evan only laid a hand on Robert to protect me."

The look in Principal Miller's eyes was indecipherable, his gaze darting between Sean and me, almost as if he was still dubious about the whole story.

"I don't wanna be subjective here, but I must say that I am quite surprised you even got yourself involved with Robert and Evan in the first place, Mr. Harris. You always stay out of trouble and to see you act so recklessly like that was very out of character." Principal Miller implied.

Sean bowed his head in shame "I know, sir."

Principal Miller sighed as he sat back further into his chair "Although, knowing your position in the student council and how reliable you actually are, I trust that you're telling me the whole truth and not because you're trying to save face with Mr. Williams here."

Sean shook his head "No, sir. I promise that I am telling you the truth of what happened."

Principal Miller thought about it for a while before he nodded his head, sighing "Okay, but that doesn't mean I won't be assigning each of you your rightful punishments. I don't condone the actions you've committed no matter what the reason behind it is. Violence is still violence."

We nodded our heads "We understand, sir."

He released a heavy breath because of that "God, what am I gonna do with you kids."

* * *

After Principal Miller decided what our punishment was as a result of our fight with The Greasers, in the end, we wound up only getting two weeks' worth of detention whilst he assigned me to help out with the duties required for the student council.

Which I had no problem with whatsoever because, after my conversation with Sean, it's safe to say our long, dragged out rivalry had finally simmered down.

We walked out of the Principal's office feeling content "Thank God for that." I sighed.

Sean rolled his eyes as we walked out together "Of course you'd be happy getting a two weeks' worth of detention, but may I remind you I've never even gotten detention before and the first time that I do I get two weeks of it?"

I laughed in amusement but immediately stopped as Sean hit me in the shoulder with the back of his hand as I yelped "Hey! Two weeks isn't that bad! You're overreacting."

"Whatever. At least I get to boss you around while you're working for me in the student council." he grinned wickedly as I was the one to roll my eyes this time.

"Yeah, you'd just love bossing me around, won't you, Harris?" I teased as he blushed, scowling at me before he looked away.

We finally stepped out and the first thing that greeted me was the sight of Maggie and my friends all piled up into one corner, talking amongst themselves as I halted in my tracks.

"Hey," I said, and just like that, they all turned to look at me.

I didn't even get to utter another word before Maggie came sprinting towards me, throwing her arms around my neck as she hugged me tightly.

I stood there shocked for a moment before my eyes fluttered shut, wrapping my arms around her as I tugged her close "What happened?" she asked before she pulled away to "What did Principal Miller say?"

"Nothing. He just assigned me to do some work in the student council's office as well as two weeks' worth of detention, which I only managed to get that much because of Sean."

Everyone turned their attention to Sean in an instant as I said that, and he didn't do anything but just stand there awkwardly as he shrugged.

"Wow, who would have thought that Sean Harris himself would bail Evan out of trouble," Jess remarked with a playful smirk "Are we living in an alternate universe or something?"

Sean scoffed, "I only did what was right."

I turned around to face him as we locked eyes, the ends of his lips tugging up in a slight smile before he coughed, trying to stir the attention away from him.

"We should get proper help for that bruise before it gets any more swollen," Sean stated as he pointed to the bruise on my cheek that Robert inflicted.

My friends nodded in agreement as Sean walked ahead from everyone else as he nudged his head towards the halls "Come on, I think they have a first aid kit in the nurse's office."

"I'll catch up, you guys go ahead," I said and with that, Jasper and the guys caught up with Sean as they all started to chat with one another.

Colin threw his arms around Sean while ruffling his hair, causing Sean to loudly groan in annoyance as the others laughed at them.

"It's obvious that they missed him," Maggie muttered softly, her arms still around my neck as I nodded in response, smiling.

"Yeah, and to be quite honest with you... I think I did so too."

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