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Chapter Forty-Six: Evan

It's been days since my reconciliation with Sean in Principal Miller's office and it's safe to say we've been doing pretty great. Though I won't say it was automatically easy for us to revert to old patterns because, in hindsight, it has been a long since we've last hung out.

We spent the past few months being at each other's throats and acting like a bunch of children, being petty and immature when it could've been resolved if we had just talked like normal people.

We started as friends after all, like there was a time where every exchange between us didn't have subtle venom lingering in the words and where we actually sat down, laughed, and enjoyed each other's company, and I gotta admit, being Sean's enemy was exhausting.

Whenever we're reminded of our past rivalry it never fails to make things awkward especially when someone in our group accidentally brings it up. Because it is a sensitive topic, one that I hope someday we'll be able to completely overcome.

But that doesn't mean we aren't trying, because although we manage to slip up now and again we are also able to brush it off with the best of our abilities.

Also, considering it has been a long time since we've last acted civilized towards each other, we thought we'd catch up on each other's lives to make up for the time wasted.

We scheduled a hangout during the weekend, going to a burger joint we always went to before we had our short falling-out and thought about inviting the others along with us.

They agreed and it wasn't soon after that we found ourselves all piled up in one booth in the corner of the burger joint, hanging out and having fun like the good old days.

"I will get the cheeseburger and the chocolate shake," Jasper noted as soon as the waitress approached us about our orders "Maybe some fries too."

"Got it." the waitress said, listing Jasper's orders as she then turned to me "How about you, handsome?"

The guys looked at me with raised eyebrows, torn between reacting either in amusement or nonchalance about the inevitable flirting I always seem to get whenever we go out.

I smiled at her politely before turning back to my menu "I'll just get whatever he's getting," I said, pointing to Jasper "Except for the fries, I don't think I've brought enough cash."

"Got it. I'll bring your orders as soon as possible." she nodded before shooting me a sly grin

I couldn't help but freeze in my seat as she walked away, thinking if I encountered her a year ago instead of today I would've done a lot more than just sit here like an awkward fuck and not attempt to reciprocate her advances.

But the person I was back then is gone now and by this point, I just can't help but feel gross all over while my friends merely laughed on my behalf "Damn dude, you really have changed, huh?" Colin teased as I shot him a glare.

"Shut up. Haven't you heard that old habits die hard?" I retorted.

Zach snorted "Yeah, but we didn't think they would die this hard."

I rolled my eyes as I shook my head "That's just how life is when you grow up."

They all collectively snickered at that as I gave them the middle finger.

It wasn't soon before our orders arrived and when the same waitress a while ago placed my food in front of me, as I then instantly noticed the added meal on my plate "Um, I don't think I ordered any fries," I pointed out as she looked at me, grinning seductively as she waved me off.

"It's in the house, so don't worry about it," she purred, placing a solicitous touch on my shoulder before she turned on her heel and walked away, all the while as I just sat there, completely stunned as I gazed down at my food.

"God, I pity Maggie to be honest," Jasper commented as I looked up at him "No matter how much you change yourself the attention never falters away from you."

"What do you mean?" I asked, perplexed.

"He means you're too much of a lady-magnet. Even I would be doubtful trying to date you if I knew how much you attract the attention of women without even trying." Sean said as my eyebrows furrowed in contempt.

"That's what I'm afraid of, considering she admitted to being intimidated when it comes to my dating history when I told her about my ex-girlfriends," I proclaimed, my tone bitter.

"Well, you have to reconsider the fact she's only been with the same guy since junior year until she met your dumbass," Colin scorned as I narrowed my eyes at him "You guys are complete opposites so it's only understandable if she feels somewhat inferior to you, plus she doesn't look like the type of person who goes through relationships the same way that you do. She looks like someone who'd be in it for the long haul, so you should be too."

"But doesn't that scare you, though?" Sean asked.

I understand where that question may have come from because I have been very vocal about disliking the idea of commitment and that I have no desire to be in a serious relationship anytime soon, that's why a lot of my relationships don't last for as long as five months.

That's not to say that my beliefs have automatically changed since then, it's just now I have no desire to date as much as I used to because I am serious about Maggie, but that doesn't mean the idea of having a long, committed relationship doesn't scare me. Because it does.

I'm still young and I know as time progresses my preferences are gonna evolve in the same way that I will as I go through life, so the idea of sticking to one thing for God knows how long just always seems so unflattering to me.

However, I am serious about Maggie, as a matter of fact, I've never been more serious about being in a relationship with someone in my entire life, but still.

"Not gonna lie, the idea does scare the shit out of me. Not because I don't like Maggie, I do. God, I don't think I've ever liked anyone this much for so long but that doesn't mean my preferences have completely changed ever since we've met. I've grown but there are still parts of who I am still that are trying to adjust, and it doesn't help that me being scared of commitment isn't necessarily a bad thing. Even she knows that." I elaborated.

"But I am aware of the fact that she wants to be committed to someone because that's all she's ever known and that's her standard, and I'm gonna try my best to respect that but at the same time, it's disorienting. For a lot of reasons."

The guys nodded as Sean released a sigh "When are you planning to actually ask her out, though?" he asked.

I thought about it before shrugging "I haven't really thought about it. Again, we're just trying to take things slow and even though it's something I'm not used to, I'm doing my best to be patient."

"But for how long, though?"

"Again, I don't know. I guess whenever she's ready."

"But when will she be ready?" Jasper was the one to ask the question this time.

I tried to come up with a plausible answer but I just ended up blank, because the question of when is still unknown, and I'm sure even Maggie feels the same way.

"Sooner or later you're gonna have to make a move though, Evan. You and Maggie already know each other well enough to be aware of what needs to be done. I'm not saying you should do it now, but considering everything's already been aligned in your lives, I think it's about time you decide when to make it official." Jasper suggested as the guys nodded in agreement.

I didn't say anything more as I only heaved out a deep sigh "To think I would live to see the day where asking someone out would be a lot harder than taking things slow." I said as they all laughed at my pitiful display.

"Well, as you said, old habits do die hard."

* * *

The day was over and I planned to visit Maggie at her house afterward, not bothering to message her about my visit so I could surprise her.

I decided to buy her some takeout from the burger joint before I left, and it wasn't long before I found myself outside her bedroom door, knocking softly before her voice resonated from the inside "Come in."

I turned the doorknob and looked inside to see her sitting by the bay window of her room, doing homework as she turned towards me, surprised to see me here "Evan."

I smiled as I let myself in. "Hey, sorry about coming here without telling you first."

"No, no." she said, dismissively waving me off as she smiled back "I don't mind. You know you're always welcome here."

"Well, that's nice to know." I chuckled, "And uh, also, I brought you some food."

Her gaze fell to the paper bag containing said takeout and grinned "How chivalrous of you."

I playfully rolled my eyes before walking over towards her "The guys and I ate at the old burger joint we used to go to and decided to catch up on things, so I thought I might as well buy you something considering I planned on stopping by here anyway."

"Well, thank you. I really appreciate it." she said, rummaging through the paper bag as soon as I handed it to her "Was Sean also there with you guys?"

"Yup, he was. We kind of just talked about what's been going on with his life as well as mine, and we really enjoyed the day, to be honest. Admittedly, these past few days after we had made up have been awkward because we didn't know how to go back to being friends after everything that's happened between him, me, and Beth, but we're doing our best to work our way around it." I said as Maggie nodded in understanding.

"I'm glad to hear that honestly, and how's it been between him and Beth? Are they..."

"They've been good. I mean, he hasn't really talked about it for personal reasons, you know, which I respect. As long as they aren't on bad terms anymore, I see no point in bugging him about her." I said.

Maggie hummed as she bit down on her food "Let's just leave them be. God knows how annoying it is when people pester you about your love life."

The statement instantly caused a wave of heat to course through me as I nervously laughed in return "Um, now you say that actually..."

She swallowed down her food and arched an eyebrow "What is it?"

"I may or may have not spilled information about what's been going on between us."

Maggie threw her head back because of that as she groaned "Evan, come on."

"I'm sorry! I'm just very new to this! I needed to get some opinions from other people just to feel reassured, that's all." I insisted pathetically "I'm sorry."

Her eyes softened at that "No, don't be. Now that I think about it, some advice is what we need the most right now. Plus this whole thing we have going on is about as directionless as the time we tried to figure out what we felt about each other."

I blinked "Well, now that you say that, we haven't really talked about what we actually... feel."

Silence filled the room as we let the words hang in the air.

"We've expressed it through actions," she professed "Does that count?"

"No, I don't think so." I reluctantly said, "We're so bad at this."

She chuckled, "You're telling me."

I walked over towards her and took a seat right across from where she sat, putting her legs on top of my lap as she tried to properly situate herself "I don't think kissing each other a billion times and not knowing why said kisses were initiated means establishing a label."

She nodded solemnly "That's true. In a way, by doing that we're just walking around the issue."

I looked up at her as I softly grazed the skin of her bare legs with the tips of my fingers. "Maybe it's time we actually talk about what we do feel about... each other."

The suggestion was left hanging like a lethal bait, just waiting for either one of us to go ahead and take it and to be the first one to take liability.

"Well, with the way I return your kisses it's obvious that I don't view what we have as... platonic," she suggested as I found myself laughing underneath my breath.

"Yeah, I guess that may be the case for me as well." I teased as she rolled her eyes "And that ever since said kisses were initiated, we've never really been platonic at all, for that matter."

"Yeah, I think ever since we had our first kiss, I've never really viewed you as an enemy," she noted.

My gaze darted down to her lips as she talked "Or as a friend."

The atmosphere suddenly felt a thousand times thicker as my hand slowly found its way from traveling down from her leg all the way to her hands that sat mindlessly on her lap.

As it did, I found myself slowly leaning towards her as well. "Feelings of either hatred or indifference are out of the picture, then."

She nodded "I think so."

I was so close to her that I could actually feel her breath fan against my face as her breathing started to become shallow "So I guess that begs the question... what do we feel?"

My heart was pounding inside my chest and I'm pretty sure I was counting on every puff of air that was coming out of her mouth as she took a while to answer my question.

I felt myself getting more anxious by the minute, but all thoughts of apprehension quickly dissipated as soon as she took my hand in hers and intertwined our fingers.

"All I know is that I feel like I'm in the clouds whenever I'm with you," she told me with the softest voice I've ever heard her speak in, almost as if she was doing her best not to ruin the fragility of the moment "That every second that I spend with you, I can't help but want more."

My lips quirked up into a small grin as I let her words sink in "Yeah?"

She nodded, "Yeah." her grasp on my hand became tighter as she was the one to draw herself closer towards me this time.

The beating of my heart became more rapid that I'm pretty sure it was gonna rip out of my chest sometime soon as I did nothing but just stay still, drinking her in.

"... I like you a lot, Evan." she declared as I felt time stop right here and there.

I gulped as I stared at her lips then up at her.

"I like you a lot too, Maggie," I whispered, "Like a whole fucking lot."

She lets out the faintest of chuckles as she tips her head forward so that her nose was rubbing against mine, making me smile as I closed my eyes.

With us indulging at the moment, the serenity and closeness of our proximity, I felt her other hand move up to the side of my face, tracing the sides of my jaw.

I opened my eyes but not too much, just enough to see that we were literally inches away from one another. With my heart thumping violently inside my chest as I finally destroyed that one-inch barrier between us and closed the gap that was getting in the way, and pressed my lips against hers.

She grabbed my shirt in her hands as she pulled me closer, probably as a way to make up for the times we've spent being so close yet so far apart that we were never able to give in to what we wanted. Which was this.

This right here, being able to express what we feel without hesitation, finally knowing once and for all that what we're doing right now is happening because I feel the same way she feels.

That she feels the same way I feel. About her.

That out of all the people on this planet is that I can't picture doing this with anybody else aside from her and that I only just want it to be with her.

We pulled away after what felt like hours as she rested her forehead against mine "Wow."

I grinned like an idiot as I nodded "Yeah... wow."

We stayed silent for a while before I found myself chuckling.

She looked at me, confused. "What?"

I shook my head, grinning in amusement "Nothing. I just can't help but think this is the second time I've kissed you where you taste like burgers. Again."

Her eyes widened before she covered her mouth and swatted me across the chest, clearly embarrassed as I burst out laughing.

"You asshole! I hate you so much!"

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