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Chapter Fifty-Four: Maggie

When you love someone, fighting with them is single-handedly the most difficult thing you can do because not only are you inflicting pain onto them, you're inflicting more pain onto yourself.

For there's only so much hurt one can endure seeing the person that they care about being on the opposing side of the battle and for once not right beside them.

It's torture, and in the past when I fought with Evan it didn't necessarily elicit any kind of remorse and or guilt from me, or at least not right away, all I knew is that whenever we fought, the main goal was just to get my point across and to win.

But now? The idea of succeeding in bringing someone down, especially someone that you've grown so incredibly attached to, hurts in ways that as soon as I do it, I immediately wanna retract.

It's almost like setting someone in flames but feeling the burn brim within you instead.

And this realization dawned upon me when one day our first fight as a couple, and not just as Evan and Maggie anymore, occurred.

I went to visit him and had planned to just crash at his place because ever since we both got into a relationship it almost became a habit for us to check up on one another.

But as soon as I stepped into the Williams household I immediately knew something wasn't right, or maybe it's because I didn't even get to take a couple of steps forward to their front door when I instantly heard it.

"Of course! You get to dictate every single fucking thing in my life and tell me to make better choices but once I do make decisions of my own, I'm being irrational!"

Furrowing my eyebrows, I carefully listened to the fight that was clearly taking place from inside the house as I heard aggressive footsteps resonating from the other end of the door.

"Evan! For Christ's sake, can you calm down?"

"No!" he exclaimed, "I can't understand why me attending colleges in New York is such a fucking crime to the both of you, it's not like there's anything wrong with it!"

"Because why does it have to be New York out of all places?" I heard Tiffany cry out, her voice agitated "Like there are so many more schools to attend here I just don't understand-"

"It's because I want to, okay? You get to decide what my job is before I even think about what I want to do in life and even pick who I'm supposed to get engaged to, but God forbid I choose what school I'm going to attend like it's some sort of crime!"

"Evan, stop raising your voice at your mother! She's only looking out for you-"

"What part of you guys wanting me to stay in LA is looking out for me? You just don't wanna admit that the reason you don't want me to attend colleges in New York is that you wanna tie me down and let me rot here because that's what your family did to you!"

There was a gasp before Mason's thunderous voice shouted: "Evan, I've had enough of you!-"

"And you think I'm not?!"

It wasn't until I caught Evan's silhouette marching in the direction of the door that I instantly stepped aside just in time he burst outside, a scowl on his face as he walked away from his parents, not even noticing I was standing right here.

"Evan! Where do you think you're going?" Tiffany shouted but Evan didn't even spare her a glance as he went on his way.

His parents just stood there, evidently distressed as I cleared my throat.

They jumped startled at the sound of my voice before their shoulders sagged at the sight of me "Oh Maggie, you're here." Tiffany cooed as I nodded.

"Yeah, I just thought I'd pay a visit but now..." I look back to the direction Evan stormed off to "What happened?"

They sighed, clearly exasperated with Evan's current theatrics as Tiffany spoke first "We were discussing which college he's going to be attending once he graduates high school, and for some reason, he brought up New York."

Feeling my throat knot uncomfortably at that, flashbacks to our previous conversation during our first date came back to mind when he talked about wanting to attend university in New York, and me being fully supportive of him and his choices.

I didn't think it would've caused this much of a ruckus, however.

I nodded my head, gesturing for them to continue.

"Which of course, we were opposed to because the family business is here in LA, not New York where he would be so far away from us, that would just deter the plans we made for him!"

Haven't you reconsidered asking him if he even liked the plans you made for him?

But dismissing the snarky afterthought, I just nodded my head once more in silent sympathy. "I'll try to talk to him, this could honestly be resolved with a proper conversation and I'm guessing he just needs to blow off some steam."

I reached my hand out to Tiffany and offered her a reassuring smile "Don't worry, just give him some time to cool down and I'll try to convince him to sit down with you guys so all of you can talk about this without arguing."

Tiffany lets out a breath but smiles back at me and holds my hand as well in quiet gratitude "Thank you, Maggie. I appreciate that."

I shot her a quick smile before I turned on my heel and headed in the direction Evan went to, feeling quite apprehensive if I should even approach him.

I turned on the left street where I'm pretty sure I saw him descend to, a nearby park coming into view and I look ahead to see if that's where he went, and sure enough, I find him lounging on a bench, arms rested on his knees as he looks down on the ground in clear distress.

I frowned as I cautiously walked over towards him, careful not to overstep my boundaries just in case he asked me to give him some space.

But it seems as though even when he senses my presence draw near, he doesn't make a move to push me away and reject my advances, just allows me as I take the spot on the bench beside him.

"Hey," I said in a soft voice.

He doesn't respond at first, his jaw clenched and eyes cast forward, but after a few minutes of prolonged silence, he finally decides to speak up.

"Hey,"

I smiled, scooting closer towards him but still maintaining some sort of barrier "I wanted to drop by and visit to check up on how you were doing but after everything that I just witnessed..." I paused, feeling quite awkward "I take it you're not doing great?"

Way to state the obvious, dumbass.

But despite my failed attempt at starting a conversation, the littlest smile appeared on his face, making me internally sigh in relief to see that I've managed to appease his foul mood.

"Are you okay?" I finally asked as I took his hand in mine, causing him to let out a tired breath before he spoke in a gruff tone.

"No, I'm not. I just wanted to have a decent discussion with my parents about my future but they blew things out of proportion and made this into a bigger deal than it should be."

"I wasn't looking for a fight when I approached them about this and if anything, I was expecting that this would be their reactions that's why I tried my best to be patient with them, but they kept trying to make it seem like I was being the irrational one in the whole situation and who wouldn't be pissed off about that?"

"I just wanted to take control of my own fucking life for once and they couldn't even let me have that. They just had to make me seem like I'm the one being unreasonable but in what way was I being unreasonable?"

He stood up from the bench and placed his hands on his hips as he paced around, evidently infuriated as I looked up at him.

"And when I got angry I was being disrespectful? Even though I had every damn right to be angry because they didn't even hear me out!" he exclaimed, "Now look where we are!"

I allowed him to recollect his bearings and to calm himself down before I cleared my throat to try and attempt to get a resolution out of this. I didn't wanna further fuel his anger and if anything the goal here is to try and pacify his outburst, so I knew I had to be careful with my words.

"It's okay, I understand," I told him "I understand where you're coming from. Not being able to possess your own freedom sucks and I can see where Tiffany and Mason went wrong with this and quite frankly I don't agree with them, because you're right, they were being unreasonable and biased."

Evan didn't say anything which meant I was doing great so far, that just means I have to be extra diligent moving forward with what I'm about to say next because the goal here is to be objective and make them see common grounds.

"But as much as it is frustrating, fighting with them isn't gonna solve anything." I said "I know what they're doing may seem absurd but I know they weren't carrying any ill intention, you're their son, Evan. As outrageous as they are right now they're just trying to look out for you-"

"Look out for me?" Evan repeated in a scornful tone as I blinked "In what way are they being such goddamn control freaks in any way looking out for me?"

"Evan, don't be that way, you know they're just looking out for your best interest-"

"No, they aren't! They get to choose how my life is planned out before I was even brought into this godforsaken world and ignore half of their responsibilities as parents and then get surprised when I don't conform to their shitty expectations of me?"

"They expect me to comply with their every demand to maintain this goddamn empire they built that I never asked to be mine! I never asked to be the heir to their company and I never asked them to handpick my goddamn marital life for me that all boils down to fucking business in the end! I never asked for this!" he cried out, outraged.

Something pierced inside me hearing him talk about the engagement and how it was something that he never asked for. It's silly, I know, considering I felt the same way, but the way he sounds now almost sounds as if he had the chance he would do it all over again just to prevent this.

Prevent us from meeting one another just so he could regain his freedom.

"Evan, I know there's a way we can settle this without being so hostile, we can sit down and talk about this properly with your parents and I just know they'll try to understand your perspective on this-" I persuaded as he cut me off.

"No Maggie, they won't. I know even though you've known my parents for quite some time now you may feel like you know them as people, but trust me, I know them better. And they aren't gonna stop until they get what they want in the end."

"We can try to seek out an answer that'll adjust to your wishes as well as theirs, there's always a way to fix a problem and you just have to hear them out first-"

"It doesn't fucking matter! Even if we do settle on a decision that'll fit best for everyone, the fact that I even have to accommodate them is the problem! For Christ's sake, Maggie, has Veronica's dramatics worked well enough for you to think this engagement is actually their way of looking out for us? As if none of the choices they made are just a bunch of elaborate schemes?"

I frowned at that "Evan, we both know that isn't true, you're letting your frustrations get the best of you right now and we both know we had no other choice-"

He scoffed "God, your mom really fooled you into thinking all of this was out of love, huh?"

I felt my insides flare up at his condescending tone "No, she hasn't, whatever she did was her way of looking out for me and you know that. In the same way that I came here because I'm looking out for you! Why do you think I had that talk with Tiffany about your well-being back in the hospital? Why do you think I encourage you to be your own person in this life?"

"Well, I never fucking asked you to meddle! I never asked you to be here and act as if you actually give a damn about me!" he shouted as I found myself caught off guard with his declaration, heart sank.

We both looked at each other as silence settled in the atmosphere, my heart pounding violently inside my chest as a whirlwind of conclusions raced through my mind.

He never asked me to be here?

He probably sensed the impact his words had done on me because it wasn't long before his eyes softened and he took a step forward "Maggie, no wait, listen-"

"N-no," I stopped him before he could continue "I understand if you're angry and you have no other way to vent out your frustrations, I know how it feels to feel trapped in a certain place in your life that you never asked to be a part of, I fucking understand that."

"But I'm trying, Evan. As much as all of this pained me the second I realized both you and I can work through this together it didn't matter how much I felt trapped because I was willing to compromise and make sure in the end we were both happy. That you were happy."

"And I know I've said how I never asked for this engagement to happen, how I never wanted us to go through so much suffering like this, but I'm not gonna ignore the fact that as much as we both suffered through this engagement is that you still helped me along the way and how we both ended up with something beautiful."

"That even though we didn't ask for this engagement, this relationship helped us become better versions of ourselves and it was something we had so much say in and that is something I will never want to take back even if God gave me the chance," I said, getting choked up as Evan stared back at me, dumbfounded.

"Because I know despite whatever we went through, we went through it together because we learned to care about one another. That you care about me and I care about you."

I stood up, feeling the tears brimming in my eyes cascade down my face and hit the pavement as I didn't dare break eye contact with him as I slowly backed away.

"That even though I've rejected your efforts so much in the past is that I'm never gonna shove it in your face that I never needed it because I knew you did it out of love," I said, voice trembling "Because, in the end, I am so thankful you were there for me even though you didn't have to be."

With that, I took one step further away from him as I wiped the tears off my face.

"I just wished you made it seem like it was the same for you as well." 

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