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There was only few months left for graduation. Not that I was gonna miss school or anything but another obstacle was in front of me.
College.
Fuck.
Few days earlier Damien got a farewell party which somehow by his looks I found out he didn't like it. Not like I-dont-want-to-leave-you-guys one but like this-is-some-kind-of-bullshit sort of. He was leaving again. This time he is going Miami. I don't know why. I didn't ask him.
Many girls in our school cried that he was going, many guys...... didn't give a fuck except for those trying for football scholarships.
We had a fight last night during our date, over late night call and yeah, early morning calls. From a conversation I found out he wasn't 20 years old, he was fucking 27 and he says it isn't a big deal. It is. For a 18 year old it is. We fought over that topic and also about these days not spending time with me. Yeah, I was being a nasty boyfriend but hey! Who said I was gonna change myself into a fairy when I start to date. A man on top of that.
" Can we skip that part please? I don't wanna get irritated when I am going away, Ethan. Especially not with you." he sighed over the phone.
" Whatever. You are just going Miami not to visit the Queen of England." I snapped. Yeah, we were having a fight till now.
" Whats up with you Ethan? I told you I am sorry okay. I just wanted to sound young to you when I saw you so yeah, I blurted out the wrong number." He said annoyed.
" Look, I don't wanna talk to you right now. Go have fun or whatever. I have homework to do." I said tapping my pencil on my physics book.
" Fine."
" Yeah... fine."
" Bye, Ethan. I'll call you." he said which sounded like a mutter.
" Don't bother." I mumbled and cut the call.
I threw my pencil on the bed and laid down thinking when did my life get so complicated. When did I became someone who fought with their lover every fucking second. I sighed.
I still love him.
But I doubt if he does.
*******************
" I did at the Franklin, Houston and California one. I don't remember." Jenna said looking at notes which she had prepared for the test. I was bothering her with questions. We were in the cafeteria, it was lunch and very rare of us to stay in cafeteria.
" I wanna try for chemistry.... or management or business." I said chewing on my apple.
Jenna was scribbling something in her notebook nodding at my words.
" You are listening right?" I asked her to which she looked at me and dropped down her pen.
" Okay, what the fuck is going on?" she asked staring at me.
" Nothing..." I said with a shrug.
There was a silence for a while then she got back to what she was doing.
" Try New York ones.." she mumbled as she resumed writing on her notebook.
" New York.." I mumbled.
I threw the apple on the trash bin.
" Yeah..." she drawled as she scribbled again.
" What the hell are you writing?" I asked peeking at her book.
" Notes." She replied.
" huh..."
" For exams..." she said closing her notebook before I could see any.
" Really....?" I asked to which she frowned and bit her lips.
" Its for Justin.." she said with as sigh.
" Justin? Why?" I asked.
" He.....He is going in military. He submitted the form without any of us knowing. Our parents were pissed off but he convinced them in his decision." She said to which my jaws were opened wide.
" W-what?" I gasped out.
" I didn't like it at all. But it seemed he needed it and I couldn't say a word to him that time so yeah I am jotting down things for him so he could read it and trying to practice this whole letter thing which will come in handy later." She said sighing sadly.
" Army huh." I said staring at her cold gone coffee. She nodded and the silence followed.
" So....." she drawled. " Everything okay with the football boy."
" I don't know.." I said.
"I am guessing fights are not getting over.." she said writing again.
" More like piling up." I said covering my eyes.
" Why is that?" she asked.
" I talk, he gets irritated. He talks, I get irritated." I said the story in a short version not that she wouldn't understand but I didn't wanna talk about it.
" That bad huh."
" And the worst part is I don't even know who is at fault?" I said. She gave me a sour look closing her note book this time for good.
" Its gonna be okay, Ethan. Don't worry." She said rubbing my hands with her.
" I don't think so Jenna. This time I don't think so..." I said as if to myself.
*******************************
Jenna and I walked to our last class for today. English. Which might had been an interesting subject but boring teachers have maintained its reputation as one of the boring subjects of all time.
" They are saying we are gonna have a new teacher." She said.
" At the end of the semester?" I said with a confused look.
" Technically, you have two more months." She said entering the class. " She will mange it."
" She?"
" Yeah, a female." She said with a bored expression. I chuckled.
The class was a blabbering mess with Matthew Sanders and the gang shouting like hooligans and other people behaving normally before the teacher entered. She was a cute one.
She had short hair curling at the end, brunette and big boobs. She was a cute smiling woman in her late twenties. I may bat for another team but she was really a beauty. I could see the male species in the class slowly falling in love with her.
" Good afternoon. I am Maria Heron and I am your new English teacher. I know its in such a short notice but I assure you all, I will do my best to make the subject interesting for you." she said to which Harvey Willis raised his hand.
" Yes?" Miss Heron called out.
" Can I call you Maria?" he asked and many guys raised their hands slowly.
I knew how this period was gonna end. With flowing testosterone.
*********************************
Next day I went to Jenna's house to bid goodbye to Justin who was packed for his camp. His hair was cropped up and he looked more... organized than usual. With his long wavy hair gone, he looked like a stranger to me.
" Hey, cutie. Here to meet me." He said with his usual care free smile.
" Don't flatter yourself too much." I said with a smirk.
Jenna and her parents came down with his backpacks and they had same bored, sad expression. They dropped the bags near the door with a sigh and sulked like hell. man, this was awkward.
" Hi, Ethan." Jenna greeted helping her parents with the bags.
" Hey..." I said before looking at Justin who had a faint distant smile at his face.
" So..." I drawled.
" Hmm..."
" You are dead serious about this?" I asked staring at him who smiled and shrugged.
" Eh! I don't know Ethan. But you know, you gotta do what you gotta do." He said.
" Is it about Gavin?" I asked.
He smiled and closed his eyes.
" Maybe..."
" What happened?" I asked shoving my hands in my jeans pocket.
" Nothing.." he said before settling himself in the couch.
" I highly doubt that.." I muttered before he burst into laughter.
" Oh man.... ummm.. yeah actually we had a talk last week I met in some bookstore in town where he worked for part time job." He said and there was silence.
"Don't tell me he rejected you or something?" I guessed to which he chuckled.
" More like he has a boyfriend.. a living relationship on top of that..." he said with a sad smile.
"Motherfucker..." I cursed silently.
" Yeah...." he said with a sigh.
" Well, at least he is gay..." I said making him chuckle.
"Wow, this is bad. I mean, you really liked him didn't you?" I asked him. He nodded.
" Well no use crying over a spilled milk so I wanna devote my life somewhere useful." He said getting up.
" Justin come on. Lets go." His parents cried out honking the car. Everybody was in a depressed mood.
" I gotta go pal." He said. I nodded as we both slowly went outside to find a crying mother and a frowning dad, Jenna just stood beside the car looking at her shoes. Justin rubbed her hair gently before hugging her.
" Take care eh?" he said with a kiss on the head.
" Read my letters okay. And if anybody tries to harass you just because of your homo genes. Do not hesitate to call, okay?" she said hugging him tight
" Sure, Jenna. Study well." He said with a smile, " I will come back for Christmas.."
Jenna smiled at him before letting him go.
Justin turned towards me and smiled.
"Just so you know you owe me an ice cream." I said with a small smirk.
" Yeah." He said with a chuckle. I held out my hand in front of him which he looked at it with wide eyes. He sighed and took it and we both shook it firmly.
" Until then..." he murmured.
" Until then...." I said back before he got in and went with his parents. After he went Jenna sighed sitting on the doorsteps. I sat beside her without uttering a word to each other. I heard her whimper and looked at her. She was a crying mess, clutching her knees tightly. Biting her lips she cried softly. After a minute or two, I draped my arms around her and rubbed her shoulders whispering soothing words to her.
We stayed like that hours.
**************************
I reached home at dusk. I was very depressed and was in no good mood. I opened the door to find dad working on the bills near the television.
" Ethan? Where were you?" he asked looking at me.
" Jenna's" I answered climbing the stairs.
I could not hear what he was telling me as I opened my room's door. I sighed as I closed it behind me.
" Ethan.." I heard his voice making me gasp with fright.
On my bed was Damien frowning at me as I clutched my chest trying to bring back my soul inside my body again. he got up and from the looks of it, he had come from a party or something.
" What happened to you?" he asked.
" W-what are you doing here???" I cried out locking my door.
" I came in with your father's permission,okay." He said sitting back again.
" You were supposed to be in New York." I said sitting opposite to him.
He just stared at me with this grim look before he beckoned me towards him. I sighed as I got up and sat on his lap.
He embraced me and we stayed there in silence.
" What happened to us?" he asked. I shrugged.
" Beats me..."
" Why are we acting like this? Like we hate each other or like an old couple." He murmurs looking at the ceiling.
" I don't know..." I replied. " Maybe we loved fighting."
" I mean, the age thing wasn't a big deal.... and we fought like crazy.." he said.
I got up from top of him and stared at him.
" Hold your thought.." I said and stood in front of him. " You mean I started this..."
He frowned giving an irritated sigh.
" You know it wasn't a big deal." He said. More like hissed.
" You lied to me about your age. I am fucking 18 okay? I have the right to know about my boyfriend's age." I snapped.
" Why the hell are you stressing me like this?" he said flinging his hands around.
" You don't wanna answer anything. You just walk out nowadays. Its like I am the only person in this whole relationship who is trying everything to make it work. You on the other hand, make promises like I will be out for you or I will throw every stupid work for you. if you don't mean it, don't give me that bullshit!" I shouted as I walked back and forth.
" Tomorrow I have a match. My dad is stressing me. My coach is stressing me. Everybody in this fucking thing is stressing me and all I wanted was to know you were there for me but you just have to open your mouth and ruin it don't you?" he shouted back.
" I don't wanna talk about it.." I snapped at him before turning my back at him.
" Yeah, thats what you are capable of. Ignoring your problems. Well, I am dealing with mine every single day. I want to do something else, I am the one trapped in this situation. My problems are way bigger than yours, Ethan. Don't give me that crap that you have bigger problems than -.."
" EVERYTHING IN THIS FUCKING WORLD IS ISN'T ABOUT YOU!!" I screamed at him in anger turning around.
" Don't talk to me like that.." he growled lowly.
" And what relation are you talking about? Huh? Whatever we have with each other isn't love. Well, it doesn't seem like that right now." I shouted.
" You don't mean that.." he murmured as if to himself. I huffed and took a deep breath.
" What if I did...?"
Then there was silence. I regretted those words the minute I spoke. I bit my lips trying to suppress the pain I had right then. He looked at me with those warm now turned cold eyes. They were hard and glassy. Like looking at a stranger who had just bumped your shoulder with accidently and you are annoyed as hell. yeah, that look.
" So this is it, huh..?" he said and gave a cold, silent chuckle. " I thought you were... I mean, you were the one... and now this...?"
I wanted to cling to him, hug him and cry out. Scream that I loved him and I was sorry but he had said some hurtful words to me which my pride wasn't letting go..
" You started it and now, you will end it." I said in a small voice.
" You don't love me." He stated in front of me. I gasped softly inward. I wanted to break down but my body wasn't allowing it.
I stayed silent gritting my teeth. He sighed and picked his jacket. He stared at the floor for a long while and at last looked at me. I finally met his gaze. He looked so sad and hurt that I wanted to punch myself for what I said.
" I had brought some things for you from my last trip." He said in a small voice.
I looked at the large packet on my desk.
" I don't want it." I said.
" Neither do I. Take it or give it somebody." He said opened the door.
" Da-Damien..." I squeaked. He turned back. I saw something in his eyes for the first time after our fight. Hope.
I am sorry.
I am sorry.
I am sorry.
I sighed and turned my back at him.
" Nothing..."
He closed the door behind him.
To be continued.
****************************
Well..
That was awkward.
Hehehe, i know, kinda tacky but bear with me. Its just for the next chapter.
Just had a fight with my step mom so yeah effected the whole chapter. OOOh! Look at time... I gotta study. Oh before I finish, I really want to know if I should write another story for Justin.
Comment! Vote! Follow! Or eat creampuffs!
Bear with me until then
Ciao!!
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